Annoyed at comments over hair cut!

[november90]

I've had long hair my whole life and always loved it. Long, thick, blonde hair. Recently I decided I wanted a change and had around 8 inches cut off and have had it cut into a long job. This is a massive change for me. I've never ever had short hair. I actually love it! Ima. Single mum and I feel so much more glam with lower maintenance hair which is easier for the school run etc. I do feel a bit self conscious because I've never had short hair before, but I do feel excited about it!
I have had a few comments though off a few MALEs saying "it's a sign of getting old women cutting their hair", "you'll never have long hair now, women never do when they cut it short as they cba with it" etc etc etc. You get my point. This has honestly really annoyed me, I feel it's such a back handed compliment and such a rubbish thing to say to someone whose made such a big change! Am I being touchy?
To our into context one of the people who said this was my children's dad/EX.
:(

"Thank you for your opinion, random man"

I bet he was one of them twats who wouldn't have noticed you'd had it cut when you were together, isn't he?

I totally get what you’re saying!!! Why is hair such a big deal?
I’ve got very long hair and it’s always the first thing people comment on. I love my hair and have always liked having it long but it takes forever to wash and dry and the whole house is covered in my hair

My dad didn’t let me have my haircut till i was 15…he said ‘proper women have long hair and short skirts’ (twat)

I was discussing get my hair cut in to a long bob with some friends in the pub the other day and they were all so shocked….like I’d told them I was planning on cutting both my arms off! It made me feel like my hair is my only redeeming quality!

Embrace your new look OP! I may well join you soon!!!

@TaraR2020

"Thank you for your opinion, random man"

This.

@Laila747 yes exactly!!! That's sort of how I feel, like was my long hair my main quality which is absolutely ridiculous!!!
I absolutely hate that short hair is linked with older women, a conception which had never entered my brain before! I think it's edgy and cool. It's a totally different look then before, but what has it got to do with my age?!

It's so frustrating isn't it!
I really appreciate the replies :) I will enjoy my hair cut as I do love it so far and I'm also excited to see how it grows and how I prefer it :)

I'm face the only thing it has got to do with my age is that now I'm older (as everyone is) I'm more confident to try new things. If anything I hid Behind my long hair in the past!

Ugh, these comments are from men because long hair is a fantasy for a lot of them and their entitlement means they are affronted when a woman takes away their wank fodder. Sorry to be blunt, but it’s the truth I’m afraid.

Women cutting their hair short because it’s easier to look after probably subconsciously feels like a blow to that type of man. They get the symbolism on some level. Female independence offends and frightens them.

I should say to my ex "I cut my hair because the thought of looking like the person who was married to you makes me want to throw up" 😂

But I don't want him to think it's all about him 😂💁🏼‍♀️

@SoniaFouler 😂

I am nearly twice your age and I have long hair and shock horror it is grey.
Don’t give a rats arse what anyone thinks about it as it has nothing to do with them.
In my teens I had short hair, in my 20’s I had a number , in my 40’s I had a Bob, in my 40’s I started to grow it long and now in my 50’s it reaches just above my bum is salt and pepper grey and I am hoping it turns white like my mums who is in her 80’s with long white hair.

From parents, controlling their kids to partners expressing their preference and opinions. It's really strange
Definitely.
When I was a young teenager mum mum and nan ( mum's mil) were at war over my ha. I didn't understand what was going on at the time but nan kept insisting that I have it 'nice and styled' and kept on going on at me unbeknown to mum. My mum was furious when I had it cut ' because nan wanted me to. The haircut aged me by about 30 years!
( nan also gave me issues about food as she liked me 'nice and slim' but that's for another thread!

Me and my close friend have an acquaintance who has been telling us to get our haircut, ' now that we are old' since we all hit 45! No chance! I love my hair shoulder blade length.

As for a comeback I find 'what the fuck has it got to do with you' is a great sentence that covers nearly everything!

People are idiots sometimes, it's hair ffs. It will grow back if you want to. I really don't understand this obsession, mostly men have about women having to have long hair, some of the most sexy and glam women have short hair. My dh is a bit like this, he prefers me with long hair. I find it so old fashioned and a dated opinion to have

Anyway, next time someone says anything, fake shock and concern 'oh no, you think short hair means I'm getting old..... oh hang on a minute, I don't give a shit what you think' smile and walk off

What on earth makes you think that I'm interested in your opinion on my hair?

Accompanied by a hard stare.

If he mentions it again, think of someone you fancy playing with your hair. Smile at your ex and say "I know I love my new hair style , and lots of people have told me i look great.!"

Think you need to find new male friends. You should say back
“don’t talk to me about getting old..have you looked in the mirror recently?”

I had a friend who cut her life long blonde hair. Her 10 year old said
“I don’t like your new hair, you don’t look like my mummy anymore”…..little git! 🙄

“Women cutting their hair short because it’s easier to look after probably subconsciously feels like a blow to that type of man. They get the symbolism on some level. Female independence offends and frightens them.“

I agree with this - the type of man who only likes long haired women is usually a sexist prick in my experience.

They don’t care that it’s more hassle and expense to keep it looking good. That it takes days to dry and style it etc because that’s your job, to look pretty.

FWIW I’ve never had more male attention than when I had a pixie cut in my 20s. And it’s rarely been longer than a Bob ever since. I just CBA with all the faffing about when it’s longer so it usually ends up scraped into a ponytail, in which case I may as well have a pixie again! Why anyone puts value on having some hair in a bunch hanging off the back of your head I have no idea! But I guess there has always been some cultural significance there, women having their hair cut off as a punishment or selling it when they fell on hard times etc so short hair would have been a symbol of something negative. For us to embrace it now because we want to says all the wrong things to men who want women to perform femininity for them.

Although saying all that, I wouldn’t call a Lob short hair anyway. I guess with it being a bit in between long and short it can look a bit “neither one thing nor the other” but like any length of hair, it can be glammed up if you want to, or left natural, so maybe the negative comments are more about the styling of it than the length?

@Lotusmonster

I had a friend who cut her life long blonde hair. Her 10 year old said “I don’t like your new hair, you don’t look like my mummy anymore”…..little git! 🙄

That doesn't make her a little git. That's all she's ever known her mom to look like.

I agree with what most other posters have said but I wouldn't overthink it. So they have some sexist tropes settled in their mind (conscious or subconscious). Fortunately, you don't have to give a damn. I can see why it might hurt a but more from your ex, but I'm guessing there's a reason he's your ex and he's just confirmed your good judgment in making him so!

your hair your choice and frankly none of his business.

I had a friend who cut her life long blonde hair. Her 10 year old said
“I don’t like your new hair, you don’t look like my mummy anymore”…..little git!
Wow!! The kid was probably right. She may not looked like her mum any more.

I’m short British, I have very long hair as you can see. It’s not cultural nor is it extensions either. I’ll add I’m also late 30’s
I love my long hair and that’s my choice. I also love the look of bobs and pixie cuts on others, all hair cuts can look beautiful. I wish people would stop judging others on there haircut. Op yours sounds gorgeous- who said it your well rid of.

white

Takes 12 months for hair to grow 6 inches
Will take 16 months for your hair to grow back to the same length it was. No big deal and far from the “never” that idiot said