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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To do nothing on my birthday

18 replies

Worrysaboutalot · 10/11/2021 22:29

My mum has made it clear that she felt sorry for me as I have no plans for my birthday coming up soon.

It has made me feel down and second guessing my plans of just having a duvet day in-between school runs with Christmas films and popcorn.

My mum says I should do something.

  1. However my birthday falls on a week day so normal school related stuff to do.
  1. I have been very unwell in the last few weeks, so I am still recovering from that.
  1. I had a life changing illness last year, so still coping with that and this affected my friendships. Some improved, some lost. So noone to go out with on a work day.
  1. I could only squeeze a budget of maybe £20 all in.
  1. Limited by my wheelchair in where I can go and what I can do. Which I am learning to accept.
  1. Limited by restricted diet so that rules out a meal.
  1. Cinema has nothing on that I am that bothered about.

I wish I could do something fun, I just can't think of anything. Maybe just have a walk around the village and look at all the poppies on display and visit my mum for a brew.

I am just feeling down about my mums well-meaning comments.

AIBU to have a quiet duvet day at home on my birthday?

PS. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful family at home.
My DH will cook me a lovely tea on my birthday, probably curry. My kids will give wonderful hugs, which makes me blessed. Plus we went to the cinema last week as a family as a pre birthday event.

And my DH recently bought me lovely replacement headphones to replace my old ones and I got that birthday gift early too. So I am very loved, just feeling a little down at the moment.

OP posts:
Wagglerock · 10/11/2021 22:33

Sounds glorious! Make sure you have a slice of cake and something nice to drink while enjoying your films.

Themilkyway88 · 10/11/2021 22:34

Hello, you do whatever you want on your birthday and don't listen to what your mum says. You absolutely do not have to do anything, you can have a duvet day and films! That sounds awesome and relaxing. FWIW I'm in a similar situation as it's my birthday soon too and I didn't have any plans either, just don't feel fussed at all with doing anything this year. Just want to be cosy in my home with my DH and my DC and dog. Hope you enjoy your day however you spend it Flowers

MrsAvocet · 10/11/2021 22:37

It's your birthday- spend it how you want. I never do anything on mine and if anyone tried to make me they'd get short shrift.

EileenGC · 10/11/2021 22:38

My ideal birthday is just staying at home with some lovely food and a blanket. Definitely do that if it would make you happy. Don’t listen to your mother, what matters on the day is what you want to do.

Chippymunks · 10/11/2021 22:39

It sounds like you will have a nice day and you did do something, you went to the cinema.
If you did want to do something how about a coffee and cake out, get your nails painted, pay for a movie at home or rewatch a favourite film?
Happy birthday.

Worrysaboutalot · 10/11/2021 22:41

Definitely have several blankets to cuddle up in and two kittens to pet, if they choose to join me. So I will be cosy and comfortable Grin

OP posts:
Worrysaboutalot · 10/11/2021 22:43

Pay for a movie at home is a great idea, I will definitely have a look for one.

OP posts:
Atozofpoodles · 10/11/2021 22:46

Sounds perfect! Flowers

caketiger · 10/11/2021 23:14

Every year on my birthday what I want to do is nothing. Just hang with my hubby. Game, get take out. Every year its a day full of phone calls.... I think I am actually an introvert.

Wingedharpy · 10/11/2021 23:22

My birthday today OP.
I've done the ironing!
Your plan sounds far more celebratory than mine - though, doing the ironing was my choice.
Don't feel obliged to celebrate how anyone else thinks you should.
I've had a lovely day, and you will too.
Happy Birthday.FlowersCakeWine

MimiBearrg · 10/11/2021 23:23

Happy birthday! Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. It's your birthday, do what you want to do. Hope you enjoy it and hope you start to feel better soon❤️🎂🍷

CactusLemonSpice · 10/11/2021 23:32

If that's what you fancy doing, do it! Any xmas films in particular?

PinkArt · 10/11/2021 23:39

You do have plans though, they just don't look like your mum's version of plans. My only suggestion would be to make sure it's the best duvet and films day in the history of duvets and films! So have your fave food in for lunch, your fave kind of popcorn, burn your fave candle if that's your thing - little treats matter just as much as the big ostentatious ones.

mamaweebeastie · 10/11/2021 23:55

It's my birthday today. After the school run I chilled on the sofa & binged Netflix. Some family popped in after lunch. I Marie Kondo'd my wardrobe while blasting some tunes as DD not gone till 7pm then my DP & DSD came over and we had cake. Very chilled and extremely unexciting but perfect 🥰 40 next year so I might push the boat out

Themilkyway88 · 11/11/2021 11:36

@mamaweebeastie sounds a great day. It's my birthday on 23.11 and I might do similar. Can't beat relaxing at home!

BarbaraofSeville · 11/11/2021 11:46

If you're a busy, tired stressed mum, a few hours to yourself to relax with what you want on TV/a boxset, a blanket and kittens plus a nice meal with your family later on sounds pretty much like the perfect day.

You don't always need to go anywhere or spend money to treat yourself. Happy birthday and have a lovely day OP Smile.

TotallySuper · 11/11/2021 14:47

A wheelchair? OP bless you sounds like you've really been through the mill. Absolutely do what's right for you and by the way this sounds like my ideal day in!! Treat yourself to what your diet allows and enjoy it. Ignore the doorbell and relax. Happy birthday Flowers

Worrysaboutalot · 13/11/2021 12:06

I had a great day, duvet days are brilliant :)

OP posts:
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