To wonder if pregnancy anxiety resolves once the babies born?

[AliceAbsolum]

Had a miscarriage so dreading pregnancy again really. 9 months is a long time to be full of fear.
If you felt anxious during pregnancy did you feel a lot better once the baby was born? Or does the worry just shift to SIDs etc?

Felt better with everyday that passed In the pregnancy - once past 12 weeks, then when I started feeling movement, 20 weeks, 24 weeks, etc etc. Didn't shift to SIDS

And sorry for your loss

I guess it depends on whether your anxiety is purely based on a problematic pregnancy or more generalised. For me, I was anxious before kids but infinitely more anxious since, albeit about them rather than myself

I felt a lot better but still significantly more anxious than average, I'd say. But much much better than during the pregnancy

I had a very anxious pregnancy, full of worry leading up to scans and appointments, constantly on edge when I didn’t feel him move.
But the anxiety I felt after he was born was something else. Suddenly he was here and I couldn’t keep him safe inside me. I’d spend every night watching him sleep, making sure he was breathing properly. I’d eventually nod off myself but I fought it so much, I was ridiculously exhausted for the first two months of his life. But eventually it got easier and the anxiety wore off. I still worry and sometimes panic badly but I think that’s completely normal, especially for a first time mum. He’s almost 5 months now and the sturdiest little guy. Sleeps amazingly through the night.
I’ll be starting BLW with him after Christmas and that’s just a whole other level of anxiety 😅

I had ‘pregnancy anxiety’

It was the worst anxiety I’ve even known. I was on anti depressants for it.

It went within 24 hours of giving birth.

I was a nervous wreck during pregnancy but fine once he was born. In contrast to a PP, I felt better able to protect him once he was born and I could see him and spot any problems, if that makes sense?! And a relief that it wasn't solely my responsibility anymore to ensure he was OK.

Birth was also a huge fear of mine - something happening to him during. But that went well, albeit five weeks early..!

Best wishes OP

My pregnancy anxiety got significantly better after I finished work at 30 weeks. I had some complications though which led to occasional bouts of anxiety up until she was born but nothing like I’d experienced up to 30 weeks. Once she arrived I worried about things and spent a lot of time checking on her while she slept but I wouldn’t describe that as anxiety, it wasn’t constant and all consuming like in pregnancy.

I was ok, went to standard level of fears and worries I think. Though my rainbow wasn't my first child, I think that helped

I personally felt much better once my LO was born but there are always worries and you have to try to not let then getter better of you.

Anxiety after a loss is so normal (not that it makes it easier). Like a PP, I felt better with every passing stage, the period up to the 12 week scan was definitely the worst. When she was born my anxiety eased considerably. I worried about SIDS but I think in a normal way. And if she was ever unwell or I was worried about anything I felt I could get the opinion of others too- my DH or a doctor- which for me felt less stressful than when I was worrying about movement in pregnancy, which was all on me.

My anxiety decreased as soon as my baby was born. I still worried about sids etc BUT it was no where near the levels of anxiety I had during pregnancy. Good luck and I am sorry for your loss

I’m sorry for your loss.

Personally, for me, it shifted and morphed. My experience was different to you in that I hadn’t personally experienced a miscarriage but due to a stillbirth in my family at a young age, I was incredibly worried about miscarriage, then stillbirth. Once the baby arrived, my focus shifted to SIDS, choking, and every form of accident you can imagine.

The only thing that has helped for me is time and my DCs getting older and seeming a little less vulnerable.

It went the moment I gave birth.

Mine improved hugely after birth, to the point that I'm actually less anxious as a person now than I was before children. Pregnancy anxiety is so awful, wishing you the absolute best and hoping that it passes for you, too, OP

Mine didn't go away, he's 5 and I still struggle with bedtime.

I would agree with others - if you are not generally anxious but anxious that a pregnancy will fail then I think much of it does go away after pregnancy.

I had a baby, then lost two babies and then had my wonderful second son. I was anxious all pregnancy, toddler brought covid home at week 38, throw in a worrying labour, and a cat b emergency c-section.

Once he was out and breathing - my partner and I both burst in tears and then we moved forward.

I do worry about sids, but we follow the rules and that keeps me sane. But I don't check his breathing all night and luckily this baby started sleeping through at 3 months!

I think for me - while you are pregnant - you feel helpless and once they are here - you can control much more. I think it also didn't help that I think (based on size at scans) I lost my babies a week or two before I knew. I think for me that makes me feel terrible anxious during pregnancy. But that is different once they have been delivered - I can see and hear them breathing

I worried massively when I was pregnant with DD#1. Probably caused by 6 years TTC. I relaxed a bit after the 12 week scan and then panicked again at 30+ weeks as I had IUGR. Then I worried about SIDS.

I just lost DD#2 at 19+1. I don't think I'll ever have a pregnancy that isn't full of worry. I envy those people who seem to breeze through pregnancy.

I had pregnancy anxiety due to previous miscarriages. It completely disappeared after the birth, once baby was no longer solely relying on my body to keep him alive.

The anxiety lessened after the first 12 weeks in pregnancy - didn’t necessarily feel anxious about baby after they were born - but more about myself and whether I was doing a good enough job. The anxiety around them choking is unreal though now they are eating! But that is to do with my own skeletons in the closet rather than baby!

I was anxious due to infertility and IVF. The odds were always against us and only after the 20 week scan did the odds tip in our favour. I didn't quite believe it would happen for me until I actually gave birth.

Anxiety continued for me, not in an acute way. I was OK being at home in another room away from my baby but I didn't allow him to be away in another house without me until he was about 10 months and I was trying to get mentally prepared for returning to work.

It was never a fear or mistrust of anyone else; I just didn't want to be away from him and never felt the need for time apart. But I could see the need for nursery and trust with them, so that went smoothly. I went back to work when he was 12 months and everything was fine. No additional anxiety or anything.

OP, I am so sorry for your loss My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 7 weeks and my second pregnancy resulted in DD, who is now 7 months old.

I’ll start off with the bad, before moving on to the good…
I was very anxious throughout the first 12 weeks of my pregnancy, felt better immediately after the dating scan, then struggled again up until the 20 week anomaly scan. I did end up having to have private scans at around 10 and 16 weeks to break up the weeks between NHS scans as I was finding it quite unbearable. I did feel better from about 20-28 weeks as my bump grew and I felt her first movements, but the anxiety took hold again in the weeks leading up to her birth. I became quite obsessed with tracking her movements and panicky if I thought I could detect changes to her ‘pattern’. I did end up getting checked out a couple of times for reduced AND increased movement, and the midwives were so lovely, always reassuring me that I’d done the right thing and to never hesitate to get checked out if I was worried. So it was helpful to know that I was not alone during the later stages of my pregnancy and had access to healthcare professionals who took any concerns seriously.

Sadly, I think miscarriage does often affect how women feel during later pregnancies and I know if I try for another I will experience a similar level of anxiety. I think it is to do with not feeling ‘in control’. However, the anxiety lessened considerably after DD arrived safely and I could see that she was ok. I did have some anxious moments in the first few days and weeks around SIDS. But I think this is quite normal for a first time mother and, for me, they did lessen fairly quickly as I gained confidence with what I was doing. (Though I know my username suggests otherwise, I do honestly feel much less anxious now!) Also I have always followed all of the safe sleep advice so I know I’m doing everything I can. Any anxieties I’ve had as a new mother have been nothing like the anxiety I experienced during pregnancy. For me, it is a lot to do with being able to see my baby and care for her and watch as she hits all these milestones and turns all these corners and then I realise I’m doing a good job!

Pregnancy after loss is hard and I really could have written your post word for word last year. For me it was a case of taking each day as it comes and also being very honest with family and friends about my anxiety so they could support me.

Wishing you all the very best OP xxx

Sorry for your loss. Unfortunately for me the anxiety would just shift on to another worry at different stages of pregnancy then when she was born I did worry about SIDS etc. She's 8 now and snoring away beside me, now I tend to worry more about her being bullied or hit by a car so the worry is always there but or just shifts. Absolutely worth it though. If you feel you need support though, if your anxiety is overwhelming and affecting aspects of your life then please speak to someone

Watching this thread with interest. I'm being induced on sat and I've been so anxious throughout this pregnancy, it never got easier even after the first trimester even now I'm counting down the days, it can't come quick enough for me. Years of infertility and miscarriage has me like this and I have a feeling I'm going to be an anxious mother and I really don't want to be.