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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be considering rehoming my cat if this continues?

28 replies

nigelladawson · 10/11/2021 17:54

I bought 2 farm cats, both boys and both from the same litter. They're 17 months old now. They settled into our family amazingly and I love them to bits.

They have always gotten along well enough, they kind of stay out of each other's way but once in a while will groom each other. They do play fight and a few times I've had to intervene as it's getting quite intense and they do hiss at each other if the other goes near their food.

During the night there was so much banging and running up and down the stairs, I heard a few hisses but I assumed it was the two of them playing. This morning the more timid one had a limp and was being very subdued and wouldn't let me touch him. I noticed that when he made eye contact with his brother that his ears went back and he has completely avoided him all day.

I took him to the vet and he has cellulitis caused by a cat bite. He had a high temperature and the vet said it was lucky I brought him in. When we got home from the vets he went and hid outside all day, only coming in recently.

I asked the vet if his brother had bitten him but the vet said it would be unusual for a brother to do that and it's more likely to be another cat. So either another cat was in the house last night which explains the hissing and banging about, or it was him and his brother that I heard and his brother did this to him or it happened outside, completely unrelated to what I heard last night.

My question is this, if it was his brother how do I make sure this doesn't happen again? And if it does happen again and I have proof it was his brother then am I being unreasonable to considering rehoming his brother to a home with no cats?

I absolutely do not want to do this but I couldn't think of another way around it! Any ideas?

OP posts:
TheSpottedZebra · 10/11/2021 18:05

Are they neutered?

Pumpkinsonparade · 10/11/2021 18:05

Have they been neutered? We had 2 brothers for 8 years. Done at 6 months. Never had a cross meow..

MissConductUS · 10/11/2021 18:07

I had two littermates and they never fought. If you determine that they are fighting you might consult a feline behaviorist. Sometimes it's as simple as putting up some cat runs and shelves to make it easier for them to retreat and find some private, secure feeling spaces.

Lastly, you might want to repost this in the MN cat forum. Lots of good advice there.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_litter_tray

careerchangeperhaps · 10/11/2021 18:09

Littermates can turn on each other although it's unusual if they've grown up together.
Are they neutered? If they're not 'done' then they are less likely to get on as they will have the urge to make their own territory and that won't involve sharing with another male - even if they are brothers.
If you're concerned about other cats getting in, then consider a microchip cat flap.

StephenQueen · 10/11/2021 18:11

Do you have a microchip catflap?

Original poster
nigelladawson · 10/11/2021 18:13

They are both neutered

OP posts:
Original poster
nigelladawson · 10/11/2021 18:15

No I don't have a microchip cat flap but they are both micro chipped! I will look into this! Thank you!!

OP posts:
caketiger · 10/11/2021 20:51

Feliway for the win. Separate feeding spots.

MissConductUS · 10/11/2021 20:54

@caketiger

Feliway for the win. Separate feeding spots.
I agree with separate feeding locations. Food aggression is a real thing with cats, even those who normally get on well.
Honeyroar · 10/11/2021 20:59

I’d definitely try locking the cat flap to see if there is still battling noise. Can they be shut in different rooms at night if it is them fighting? My two cats occasionally fight, but only once in a blue moon.

Honeyroar · 10/11/2021 21:00

I don’t understand why Daniel was so sneaky about Daisy - what did it matter if Summer saw her??

MsFrog · 10/11/2021 21:09

@Honeyroar

I don’t understand why Daniel was so sneaky about Daisy - what did it matter if Summer saw her??
🤣
Janedownourlane · 10/11/2021 21:21

We had 2 litter mates and one day an 'intruder' cat came down the steps in our garden towards the house. Both of our cats were on the lower steps at the time and both hissed at the intruder who then fled. However, one of our cats turned on the other and behaved as though her sister was the intruder and kept attacking her.
I did find something about this online but when I called our vet for advice, they said they hadnt heard of it.
Ater a couple of horrid weeks keeping them apart due to the one being aggressive to the other, things slowly returned to normal. They were never good friends even though they were litter sisters, and after one had died, the other developed a much more outgoing personality.
Strange what goes on in their little heads!
It might be worth trying to keep them apart as much as you can for a while and monitor things. We did lots of separate cuddling with them and then began to slowly bring them back together, but it was a while before we felt that the incident was over.

2bazookas · 10/11/2021 21:31

My cousin had three cats who used a cat flap to come and go as they pleased.

She heard a racket going on in the kitchen and came in to find a family of fox cubs having a lovely game around the kitchen with the (empty) cat dishes. The cats were all sitting up on the worktops, paws folded, watching.

DeepaBeesKit · 10/11/2021 21:32

What age were they neutered?

IntemperateSpirits · 10/11/2021 21:34

We have a microchip cat flap with a Ring doorbell type camera set up over it and I am continually surprised at the amount of cats - some who I've never seen about before - who have a go at getting in to the house. I can only assume they all came in and partied before we got the microchip cat flap.

ThinWomansBrain · 10/11/2021 21:40

Nothing to add - have a sole indoor Princess cat, but I hope he's feeling better soon 🐟🐟🐟

Jezzballs2000 · 10/11/2021 21:46

@2bazookas that absolutely delighted me

1forAll74 · 10/11/2021 22:00

I have three cats, A mother cat, and her two boys, all neutered and spayed, They are all adult cats now, but had the offsprings from birth. Mother cat is very placid and calm at all times, but the two adult male cats,often have a bit of a skirmish, a playfight thing, but with some lashing out,and hissing, but usually over in a minute, and then they sit and stare at each other, then finally walking off, to do something else.

Then come night time, the two boys huddle up together on the end of my bed,sometimes in a cosy embrace with their paws.

headintheproverbial · 10/11/2021 22:46

The vet's a moron. Of course brothers occasionally fight. An infection is so so common with even a very light scratch or bite - after many years of cat ownership I've learned always to take them in after a fight.

They are likely reaching social maturity and just sorting out the hierarchy. When it's been agreed it will all settle down and they'll ignore each other 99.9% of the time. The other 0.1% will be spent cuddling together or passive aggressively grooming one another Grin

Don't rehome.

PuppyFeet · 10/11/2021 22:52

We adopted two cats from the RSPCA who told us they came together and were friends… by the time we got home we realised this was untrue but we persevered.. anyway one bullied the other really badly that the more submissive one ran away for two years or so… anyway, long story short, we ended up rehoming the submissive one to a dementia care home where he is very happy and loved and we visit regularly (well used to pre covid!) . In the long run best choice for everyone…

Original poster
nigelladawson · 10/11/2021 23:56

Thanks for everyone for your suggestions...and stories - they cheered me up. I have been keeping an eye on them tonight. Barnaby seems to be on the mend, he came and lay on top of me a few times and enjoyed a good scratch and cuddle and was purring away. Amber slept in his bed most of the night. I will sleep with one eye ear open tonight. I am going to get a microchip cat flap from pets at home tomorrow and get someone in to install it. For peace of mind if nothing else.

OP posts:
MintyCedric · 11/11/2021 00:00

@2bazookas

My cousin had three cats who used a cat flap to come and go as they pleased.

She heard a racket going on in the kitchen and came in to find a family of fox cubs having a lovely game around the kitchen with the (empty) cat dishes. The cats were all sitting up on the worktops, paws folded, watching.

Next year's John Lewis ad right there!
caravanman · 11/11/2021 07:38

We have three cats from farm cat stock. Two brothers are littermates, the female is related, but not from the same litter. The brothers fight, especially if there is competition for resources (food, space human attention and so on). The cats also have different 'personalities'. The larger brother is quite passive and timid, his smaller brother is vocal and dominant. We found that certain forms of allogrooming could be dominant behaviour and result in fighting.

Making sure the cats have plenty of places to hide, climb and they are played with frequently helps to sort things out.

(I do not know where the idea of littermates not fighting comes from. Back on the farm, brothers would run each other out of town.)

VestaTilley · 11/11/2021 07:41

Are they both neutered? Ensure that is done, and get several Feliway plug in’s in your house (they really work) to help calm them both down before you make any decision.

Could you also get one of those pet cameras so you can watch in the morning and see what they’ve been up to?

I’d also put them out at night or keep them in with a litter tray and lock the cat flap, then you know it’s not a strange cat coming in.

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