To wish Christmas was like the Olympics... once every four years?

[SingingSands]

Just that.

Some years are good and I'm prepared and feel on top of it. Most years are like this year - feeling unprepared, overwhelmed by family dynamics, paralysed by indecision and too many decisions, all the exhausting mental energy that it takes.

Then there's the guilt around consumption of material goods and the massive corporate companies that have a stranglehold over us. The fact that it is mostly women doing all the work/arranging/organising. The expectation of children. The crushing shame and sadness felt by those who feel they can't live up to the glossy TV adverts. The commercialisation of everything - paying £££ for a "festive" experience.

I had a thought this morning that if Christmas wasn't an annual event, would it be better? Or would it be worse because the build up would be even bigger?

Is it just me? Am I turning into a humbug? Deep thoughts for a Wednesday morning!

I think every 2 years would be good. I agree with everything you say though

Yadnbu. This would be ideal.

Yabu, I love christmas, but could do without it kicking off so early.

I get that things need to be booked and prepared, but there shouldn't be christmas lights, decorations and christmas music in Nov, all that stuff should start on Dec 1st!

I actually enjoy it
But that’s because we just focus on the 4 of us and what we want. Anyone else who wants to see us or join us is welcome to but we won’t change our plans to suit other people
We have a lovely time

I agree. We’ve long said in my family that if it was only once every two or three years we would enjoy it much more!

You aren't forced to celebrate it though. It helps me get through winter and I'd struggle without it.

The solution isn’t to have Christmas less often (as you’ve said, it will just turn it into more of an Event).

To use a hated phrase; You need to “take back control” of Christmas. Figure out what it is that upsets you about it and find ways of avoiding it.

Share the load, find ways of making things easier. Be kinder to yourself and lower your standards. Think back to your childhood - do you honestly remember every single one and all the perfect little touches; or is it more about love and family and a general happiness?

If you think it's too much, you're doing too much. Scale back to what's actually important to you.

For me it's time off work, seeing friends and family, Christmas decorations out and about, some nice food, relaxation, going out for walks every day.

Most of the things you mention are completely unnecessary and you don't have to do any of them if you don't want to.

I honestly can't see what people get so wounded up about. It's a roast dinner and if you want to you but a present or 2 but that's not mandatory. Timer to chill with people you chose to be with

The best Christmases we've had have been just the four of us. Much less pressure all around.

I still feel guilty for not visiting or receiving wider family though!

Yanbu I work with a colleague who's been talking endlessly about Xmas and her preparations for it since beginning of October. It's so fecking tedious. Because I don't do the same I get accused of being miserable and spoiling their fun.

@BarbaraofSeville

If you think it's too much, you're doing too much. Scale back to what's actually important to you.

For me it's time off work, seeing friends and family, Christmas decorations out and about, some nice food, relaxation, going out for walks every day.

Most of the things you mention are completely unnecessary and you don't have to do any of them if you don't want to.

Same for me, i am not a big lover of Christmas but i do enjoy all the same as you and i would miss it.

I kind of weirdly love the Christmas preparation, although that might be because I love cooking and baking and I focus most of my Christmas celebrations around the food.

When you can order everything you could possibly want online, and everything comes pre-made now, it's just wrapping and travelling/ hosting family that can be the drag. Surely you don't have to prepare too much for those?

I think Christmas is what ever you make it. If you want to relax and keep it low-key then go ahead and do that. Getting all bent out of shape over it is daft.

Noooooooo. You choose to put all the pressure on yourself. We spend it just the 3 of us, I buy presents through the year, DH cooks dinner and we play lots of games, go for a walk after lunch and watch Christmassy tv. You can't ban Christmas 3 out of 4 years because you can't say no to people without feeling guilty.

YABU. I'd prefer it if it were in January or February though. I can find Christmas stressful, but it does brighten up winter.

Er no thanks you’re alright

Humbug! I love Christmas because it's a time to spend with family and relax and unwind. We keep it low key so it isn't stressful. The Christmas tree goes up after the children break up for Christmas so we don't live with Christmas for weeks on end like many people do which I think must add stress.

I cook a big meal on Christmas Day and then we eat leftovers for the next few days which is bliss as I get a break from cooking.

I have done all my Christmas shopping and grocery shopping online for the last 15 years so don't need to set food in a shop at all apart from the local farm shop to pick up an order.

The children have modest expectations about what they'll receive on Christmas Day as we don't go completely overboard. We don't feel pressure to buy the latest thing. We have lots of family traditions that we follow which make Christmas Christmas and that I think the children will still expect to happen when they're adults!

We don't have family dynamics to worry about as we don't run ourselves ragged visiting lots of relatives even though we have a very big family. We all do our own thing over Christmas but have a big get together early in the New Year which is something to look forward to in cold, miserable January.

If Christmas is causing you stress then look at what you can do to make it less stressful and do what's right for your family.

I love Christmas, but we have little children (will be 4 and 10mths) so it's a very exciting time with few expectations from them. I love the Santa experiences and the activities. We have a small family and it's fairly easy going and stress free.

However I do feel so very sad for people feeling lonely, less fortunate, experiencing loss etc etc It's laden with guilt when for so many people Christmas is such a difficult time.

it was so rubbish last year (a stressful time for non xmas related reasons) that I hope I'd be in the spirit a bit earlier this year. Nope. I'd rather skip it and give myself another year of preparation to be a functioning human and vaguely sociable

The crushing shame and sadness felt by those who feel they can't live up to the glossy TV adverts

Yabu. Speak for yourself. Thats not my experience at all.

@lovemelongtime

I honestly can't see what people get so wounded up about. It's a roast dinner and if you want to you but a present or 2 but that's not mandatory. Timer to chill with people you chose to be with

That’s my idea of Xmas. Unfortunately I’ve got a lot of over excited relatives that go crazy over Xmas and make a huge day of it. And when we started declining going on Xmas day they just do another big meal and fuss for us on one of the following days. I think I’m a humbug!

I like Christmas, so it wouldn't please me.

Surely you can celebrated less often if that suits your family.

Can you imagine how bad the hype would be if it was only every four years?

Last year, due to COVID, it was just the four of us, and it was absolutely lovely, best ever.

Scale back, go low key, make things easier on yourself- it's your Christmas too

@LagunaBubbles

The crushing shame and sadness felt by those who feel they can't live up to the glossy TV adverts

Yabu. Speak for yourself. Thats not my experience at all.

I didn't mean personally. I was thinking of the families who live a daily struggle just to house and feed their children.