I’ve experienced violence in the past at the hands of my DD1 (12), who is adopted and has SEN. She once tried to hit me with a rounders bat and regularly hit and kicked me and would stamp on my feet. She also used to trash her room and throw things, particularly her glasses and hearing aids.
It was hard because, as a PP has said, I was wary of defending myself as there was the risk of hurting her.
She used to hurt DD2 (now 9) as well.
Therapy has helped and, though she does still exhibit displays of temper, she no longer lashes out at me physically thankfully.
I wouldn’t have called it abuse when it was happening. I did suffer CSA and physical abuse as a child (as did my DSis) and for me there’s a clear difference, as DD1 was a very vulnerable child.
I found it very shaming, though, as it felt like I was a failure as a mum and was afraid for the safety of DD2. (Thankfully, I was mostly the target of DD1’s rages.)