Aibu or is leaving an emotionally abusive relationship practically impossible

[VampirinaHauntley]

The council won’t help because I’m housed

I can’t private rent because I don’t earn enough and don’t have a guarantor

I can’t use section 7 of the housing act because I have no proof of anything and I’ll end up as intentionally homeless.

I have nowhere to go

I have told no one

Everything feels like I’m just going to uproot my children with no certainty- and they’re probably better off staying here even though it’s awful.

Any suggestions?

I'm no expert and I'm sure there are others who will offer support and great advice soon.

Could you contact a woman's refuge centre to see if they could offer any help.

Good luck OP and you and your children are most definitely not better off staying put.

Women’s aid?

Whilst never having been in the situation, I grew up in a household like it and it was awful.

I think you are right: it’s impossible without your own money and/or family support.

So.

Do you have any friends or family you can stay with? Can you get a job to start saving some money? Have you contacted Shelter/Refuge/Women’s Aid?

Are you able to post a little more about your situation OP? Nothing too outing but that way we can get a clearer picture & make suggestions.

Do you have any friends or family you can stay with?

Nope he’s done a pretty good job at leaving me without anyone but him
Can you get a job to start saving some money?

I do have a job but most goes on bills - I have enough money for a rental deposit but cannot get a place as they want me to earn over £30k or have a guarantor - neither I have the possibility of

Have you contacted Shelter/Refuge/Women’s Aid?

Yes - refuge is my option which isn’t necessarily local - which means uprooting my kids, possibly changing schools, and then probably having to share custody with him anyway and having done nothing to change anything for them - only me.

Then it Whirs round - what if he gets custody, what if social services take them from me. If I tell anyone in real life will I make it worse for them

The council should have a duty to house you if you are fleeing domestic abuse…have you spoken to your local CAB or local domestic abuse support? They will have more of an understanding of what is available in your area.

someone I know suffering with emotional abuse got put on the council list (in secret), your oh doesn't have to know anything about it. took about 18 months but finally got their own place. I think they had an outreach worker, help from school ect in how to do everything.