To not want anymore visitors now for a couple of weeks.

[Lottiebugz22]

My 2nd baby is 7 weeks old. Had visitors since coming home. Since then have had virus after virus (likely from dd 1 nursery) and my newborn has another cold after only just recovering from the first. I feel drained from it all now. Have said no to people coming this weekend and they're already seemingly put out by it. Why don't people understand?!

It's most likely the germs are coming from nursery so banning relatives wont make much difference. Just get people to wash thier hands before touching baby.

If you see relatives frequently, 2 weeks will seem like a very long time for your older child to go without seeing them.

It’s your home. Let them be put out. Don’t pander to such attitudes. They can wait or find someone else’s doorstep to darken. That would put me off them coming again and only meeting up with them. I don’t have patience for such nonsense or entitlement.

Do what you need to do, and ignore them.

Just say you'll see another date soon, very sorry and relax. Let your guests worry about their reaction or over-reaction, you're being perfectly reasonable in taking time to rest.

*Meeting up with them elsewhere.

@PomegranateQueen

It's most likely the germs are coming from nursery so banning relatives wont make much difference. Just get people to wash thier hands before touching baby.

If you see relatives frequently, 2 weeks will seem like a very long time for your older child to go without seeing them.

The OP literally said in her post the germs are likely from nursery. That's not why she doesn't want visitors. She's knackered and presumably wants to veg at home not tidy up and pander to relatives.

OP YANBU.

Sorry, I assumed part of the reason was because of germs. My point about her older child still stands, if they are used to frequent visitors, her DC1 may feel a bit confused by suddenly not seeing anyone when they are already dealing with a lot of change. If OP is already knackered the last thing she wants is her DC1 getting upset too.

YANBU to not want the hassle of visitors. 7 weeks is when the exhaustion really kicks in ime. As to why people are annoyed - maybe they were really looking forward to it, or maybe they'd rearranged their time to accomodate the visit and you are cancelling at quite short notice, or maybe they are just self centred.

YANBU
6 week onwards it hit me like a train.
Say no will get back to you when your up it and don't give it another thought.

You’re not well and you’re exhausted, absolutely tell them you’re having a quiet weekend with no visitors.

Stay in pyjamas, eat good food, nap as much as you can and hopefully you’ll be feeling better soon. It’s ok to look after yourself, in fact it’s essential. And don’t feel guilty for doing it.

Do what you consider best for you and your kids. You can’t please everyone in life - your first duty is to your children and they need you in good form. I came to this realisation the hard way. My mantra is now Dr Seuss’s ‘those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind’.

It is such a weird attitude to be put out by you saying you need to rest and recover. If it was my grandchild/niece/nephew etc. I would much rather their primary caregiver feel better by having a couple of weeks of quiet and rest rather than be looked after by a frazzled, exhausted, stretched parent. The DC's wellbeing would trump my own needs every time. I would be worried that if I don't back off and allow you some space, PND could come into play and I would hate to think that my insistence at visiting would contribute to that. Is your DP on board? You need to protect yourself in order to look after your DC. Do not feel any guilt.

Ignore. Stick to your guns. Really.. it's your health and well-being and that of your family which is of the number 1 importance.

It's lovely that people want to come and see the baby and you but your health and wellbeing has to come first. Have a quiet weekend and take care of yourself. You desperately need it.

Can you put another date in the diary for the visitors so they know when the next visit will be? Might help with the feeling they've been 'turned away'.

You are nicer than me accomadating a load of visitors in the first place 😂 don’t mind anyone being annoyed the first few weeks with a new born and a toddler are exhausting. I assume you have visitors like I would have had I allowed it, their feet up expecting lunch and endless cups of tea made while you try establish feeding and can’t get rest running after the kids😂 if so, please don’t feel bad not accommodating it! Ideally visitors after birth should not stay long and also offer to help in some little way, be it entertaining the toddler and baby or even just making you a snack not the opposite way around. Yours the extra wrecked With all the sickness, you are not one bit unreasonable and they can forgo a few visits while you get yourself on track!!!