To have my 14 year old look after 6yo

[Alicew00]

I'm starting a new job 8.30- 2.45 and I have adult family members who said they'd watch my 6 year old a day or two a week in the school holidays. But for the other 2 days I was thinking my 14 year old who is mature for his age and has agreed to look after her. I know they'd be ok as I have family living very close by but I feel guilty about leaving them to work I think it's because I haven't worked this much before I've always been at home.
There's no way i could afford to pay the childcare upfront and wait for some of it to be paid back.
Also my 6 year old would be at her dads every other week so it's not every week in the holidays term time

Personally I think 6 is too young to be left with an under 16 for more than a few minutes and I think it’s a lot of work/responsibility to put on a 14 year old, especially as younger child won’t be asleep or anything. Mine at that age still needed a fair amount of adult input during the day.

But I’ll happily admit I’m probably unusually cautious about my children. I know plenty of people who’d think that was fine.

Oh, this is absolutely fine, as long as your 14 year old is sensible and happy to help. I’d offer her a token bit of pocket money for taking on the responsibility, make sure you’re easy to contact in an emergency and a supply of quick and easy snacks. I would 100-% let my 14yo do this. 6 is hardly a baby.

Depends on the 14 year old. I used to take care of my younger siblings at that age.

I'd let the 14yr old babysit the younger one for a couple of hours, but not all day. Too much responsibility. No. You need to find an alternative arrangement.

Do they get on well?

I think it’s fine if the 14yo is sensible and generally trustworthy and the 6yo is a well behaved child. I would offer a bit of money as a thank you/extra pocket money if possible.

I would at a push but I bet you could do a childcare swap sometimes eg you pick theirs up after school if they will have yours a day in holidays. Or you’ll have annual leave.

I think it’s lovely that your DS is mature enough to be able to trust and kind enough to agree to look after your DD. I would reward him for this by putting your trust in him. You could also give him a few quid or buy him something nice every now and again to allay your guilt.

Yes I offered money but he said he won't take money off me. Lol so sweet. I will still give him money though. He is very good with her. Gives her cuddles and does things for her. He's even good with his nieces. He plays with them and looks after them so his auntie could have a little bit of a lie in

@Dixiechickonhols

I would at a push but I bet you could do a childcare swap sometimes eg you pick theirs up after school if they will have yours a day in holidays. Or you’ll have annual leave.

Yes we look after each others whenever we need it and I do hers

I used to look after my brother at that age (same age gap) after school for a couple of hours, and some days in the holidays.
The evenings were fine as it was just pick him up, feed him, do homework, watch the simpsons - but holidays were harder.
I did find he played up more for me - partly through boredom, but I think he struggled with the change in dynamic from "sibling to play with" to "responsible party".
I couldn't take him swimming or anything, as under 16, & it was hard to know what to do to keep him amused. He'd play out with friends (v quiet road) but I found it a bit stressful to keep tabs on where they were. One time he fell out with a local kid & I had the kid's very overbearing grandmother turn up and have a go at me - it was a lot to handle at 14 to be honest.
I think it would be ok if you provide activities ie this morning you are going to the library for a free half-term event, here's the directions etc. But they'll probably need some structure.

I wouldn't think twice about doing this.

I wouldn't.

Dh was often left in charge of his siblings (3 & 6 years younger than him) from 12, he thinks his mum/Sdad were irresponsible for doing it.

Sorry, hit post too soon ...
But don't expect the 14 year old to have to provide any enriching activities beyond watching TV and not cooking etc.

I think it depends on the 14yr old and the 6yr old to be honest and only you know that. I'd have been happy to do it (and would've enjoyed it) when I was 14 with most kids that age. A rebellious 6yr old would be too much though!

My 6 year old is well behaved. And I'd makesure her dinner was made before I left and snacks and things there.

I wouldn't let them go out at all or answer the door plus 14 year old has a phone with mine and family members numbers on who live very close

@AutumnLeaves21

Oh, this is absolutely fine, as long as your 14 year old is sensible and happy to help. I’d offer her a token bit of pocket money for taking on the responsibility, make sure you’re easy to contact in an emergency and a supply of quick and easy snacks. I would 100-% let my 14yo do this. 6 is hardly a baby.

Thank you

I think full days is too much to expect of a 14yo.

Boredom will set in very quickly if they can't even leave the house. No friends round. TV and computer games will not last long.

I think it would be absolutely fine. As long as he's got a phone to call you and you can check in. If I was in that situation I would do this.

If you believe your 14 year old is sensible enough then I don't see the issue. I was looking after my 12 and 4 year old brothers and got a job babysitting a family friends 5 year old too.

YANBU. I was babysitting in the evening for cash at 14.

TV and computer games will not last long.

They would last long in my house if no rules!

The odd day I think would be ok (I’d guess they’d most likely have a tv day and be lazy). It depends what your other family members are going to be like. If they’ll be all singing all dancing child care then fine but if he’s going to be in front of the tv for most of the week, it’ll be a bit rubbish.

I'm surprised people would say it's not ok. Six is very much old enough and easy enough for a 14 year old to manage for a few hours.

My sister and I used to babysit our cousins who were 4-7 for a few hours at the same age in the mid 00s, so not that long ago. I'd think siblings who know the child well would be even more capable than cousins.