I can't say anything, can I?

[SquirrelCrimbleCrumble]

It was my birthday recently, and my best friend of 30+ years didn't get me a present - we usually buy for birthdays, and I bought for hers a few months back. I also bought for her baby a few weeks ago.

I know she's had a lot on recently, she has a 1 year old and has just gone back to work, so she may well have just forgotten (though she did wish me happy birthday on social media).

Now, I've had text convos with her in the past few days, in which we talked about my birthday and some family dramas and so on, and she hasn't said "oh, I've got your present here, you must pop round for it" - but I can't say anything, can I?

I mean, I'm not far off 40 ffs! So it really shouldn't matter, and I wouldn't consider myself to be a materialistic person. But I can't help being disappointed

I should just forget about it shouldn't I? and be grateful for the friendship

I wouldn't be too bothered by this - one of my best friends who normally gets me a present didn't even manage a card this year, I think life just got in the way.
I'd either ignore it and just carry on buying for her or, at some stage, have a 'do you still want to do birthday presents?' conversation - it may be that she wants to drop the tradition.

I will buy for her birthday next year, as I do love to celebrate birthdays

Why? If she doesn’t say anything for months then it’s a clear indication that present giving is over.

These things are never about being materialistic, it's about what you mean to the other person. It doesn't matter what they got you, as long as you know there was thought behind it to show you matter to them (even if the gift wasn't necessarily your thing). My partner and his mother are the worst gift-givers I've ever met, but I don't care because they always put thought behind their gifts, so I know I matter to them ❤

I bet your friend has something for you, she'll probably give you it the next time she sees you 😊 x

I'd let it go.
Maybe ask next year before her birthday if you are both still swapping gifts.

I understand op.
Just play it by ear and see how it goes .

Make the decision about her birthday nearer the time.

Belated happy birthday

Thank you all so much for your lovely comments

Some of you have hit the nail on the head @Charlene1971 @DrManhattan and others (sorry I can't tag you all) - it is about the thought, but I think @UnsuitableHat is right in that life got in the way this time round

and yes @Tal45 I do worry we're drifting apart, she has friends who have children closer in age to hers, while mine is much older, so we don't have that in common. But I would hope that our friendship is strong enough to weather anything life throws at us, we've been through a lot over the years

I think I will also make more of an effort to be in contact with her, as she does suffer from anxiety

Again, thank you all for your support

@Cryalot2

I understand op. Just play it by ear and see how it goes .

Make the decision about her birthday nearer the time.

Belated happy birthday

and thank you, I did have a lovely birthday

Is this perhaps one of those "now we've got kids we'll buy for the kids and not each other" things that she's just assumed?

@MollysDolly

Is this perhaps one of those "now we've got kids we'll buy for the kids and not each other" things that she's just assumed?

She's never bought for my DD, and she didn't say anything when I bought for her birthday back in June...

She said she’s got your present at home and you should pop round for it? So it doesn’t even sound as if she’s forgotten, just is crazy busy and not had a chance to post/drop to you?

I’d let it go but also offer to pop over for a cup of tea and see if she wants a chat/support - not to collect your present and if she hasn’t got one or whatever, it doesn’t matter, but it does sound as if you haven’t actually seen each other and she is saying ‘you must come over’!

@Persephoned
I think you have misread the original post:

"Now, I've had text convos with her in the past few days, in which we talked about my birthday and some family dramas and so on, and she hasn't said "oh, I've got your present here, you must pop round for it" - but I can't say anything, can I?"

Oh sorry!! Yes, I did

Tho I would still offer to pop round and see how she is