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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bad teeth

55 replies

Anon778833 · 08/11/2021 08:32

A male friend of mine in his early 30s has horribly uneven teeth. Not just a little uneven - so bad that they are all brown where he can't clean them properly.

He wonders why he can't find a girlfriend. I don't understand why he wouldn't get his teeth straightened. He has loads of money so it's not because he can't afford it. I have suggested to him that getting them fixed could help to which he replied 'oh no I'm not paying for that'.

I am well aware that I will possibly get flamed for this but AIBU to think that straight teeth are very important in life? I'm from an age group when we all had NHS braces at school. There were very few of us who didnt have them.

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 08/11/2021 09:37

Is there any chance this is actually a dental phobia?

FreeBritnee · 08/11/2021 09:42

He doesn’t need you to solve this for him. I would be questioning whether he really wants to change his status quo. Sometimes people just go along with conversations when really they know very well that they have no interest in improving their sexual life but hiding behind weight or teeth or social status works well for them.

Just leave him be.

JustLyra · 08/11/2021 09:53

AIBU to think that straight teeth are very important in life?

YABVU not to think about the reasons why someone has very not straight teeth when you’re from an age where you all had NhS braces.

That suggests his parents didn’t take him to the dentist. Which could be for a million and one reasons, and quite possibly one that still affects him today.

Peach01 · 08/11/2021 09:54

Straight teeth aren't compulsory. Good oral hygiene is. If his teeth are brown then it's down to oral hygiene and diet.

Minniem2020 · 08/11/2021 09:58

I have severe over crowding (which I'm currently getting fixed with a brace) but they are clean. Wonky teeth isn't the reason for this,he's just not cleaning them properly. Even if he got them straightened he'd still have the brown bits if he doesn't look after them

stopblowingyournose · 08/11/2021 10:04

Yanbu if he's asked you should tell the truth.

I doubt it's the reason he's single though. I expect it's more about who he wants to date. I had a friend years back who was perpetually single (though he was great) because he wanted only to date women who look like Britney.

Bluesheep8 · 08/11/2021 11:10

Indeed. If he won’t spend £40 on a dental checkup.

£40? Where on earth can you have a dental check up for just £40?

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 08/11/2021 11:20

@Bluesheep8

A check up with a basic scale and polish with an NHS dentist is £23.80.

www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/dentists/dental-costs/how-much-will-i-pay-for-nhs-dental-treatment/

Then I pay £52 privately for a full scale and polish with the hygienist every year or so as an extra.

XenoBitch · 08/11/2021 11:30

It could be that he has a severe phobia of the dentist but doesn't want to admit it or talk about it.

Footprintsonthemoon1 · 08/11/2021 11:33

I couldn't date someone with brown dirty teeth. Wonky to a point I would. Mine aren't perfectly straight but clean and white and I have no fillings. Dh and I are in agreement that we will definitely pay for our children to have any dental work they need, mine wouldn't and I wish they had

TotallySuper · 08/11/2021 11:42

@Merryoldgoat

OP - you’ve got a friend there who’s a moany git. Next time he moans he needs to be told:

‘Mike - you talk about this all the time but won’t do anything so this is a pointless conversation. Your teeth need sorting but you’re too tight to do it. That’s the end really. But the fact is no one wants to go out with a miser with brown teeth.’

This Merry goat speaks the truth!! Do this OP. I hate a moaner with the means to change but does nothing about it.
LIZS · 08/11/2021 11:47

As long as he gets check ups and hygienist as required, his teeth are for him to live with, not your business.

Cheerbear23 · 08/11/2021 12:45

[quote Hobnobsandbroomstick]@Bluesheep8

A check up with a basic scale and polish with an NHS dentist is £23.80.

www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/dentists/dental-costs/how-much-will-i-pay-for-nhs-dental-treatment/

Then I pay £52 privately for a full scale and polish with the hygienist every year or so as an extra.[/quote]
My NHS isn’t doing scale and polish any more (because Covid) I’ve just paid for a private hygienist. Fell a bit ripped off tbh.

Bluesheep8 · 08/11/2021 13:16

My NHS isn’t doing scale and polish any more (because Covid) I’ve just paid for a private hygienist. Fell a bit ripped off tbh.

It's £95 for a hygienist appointment at my dentist.

Cheerbear23 · 08/11/2021 13:23

@Bluesheep8

My NHS isn’t doing scale and polish any more (because Covid) I’ve just paid for a private hygienist. Fell a bit ripped off tbh.

It's £95 for a hygienist appointment at my dentist.

@Bluesheep8 I didn’t pay that much for my private hygienist (£65), but that was on top of my £23 NHS appt where a basic scale and polish should have been included.
Oblomov21 · 08/11/2021 13:31

Being tight don't help either. Very unattractive quality.

SickAndTiredAgain · 08/11/2021 13:36

AIBU to think that straight teeth are very important in life?

Yes, unreasonable and shallow. Not about brown, unclean teeth, but about straight teeth.
Getting teeth straightened is thousands of pounds, and lots of appointments and faff over a fairly long period. I understand why people do it, but I totally get why others wouldn’t.

icelolly12 · 08/11/2021 13:58

I don't think it's anybody else's place to be pointing out bad teeth or other flaws to be honest. You've mentioned it once, he doesn't want to fix them so leave him be. Focus on your own life

motherheroic · 08/11/2021 14:08

You must not have much going on if 'straight teeth are very important in life'.

Itsnotover · 08/11/2021 14:50

@icelolly12

I don't think it's anybody else's place to be pointing out bad teeth or other flaws to be honest. You've mentioned it once, he doesn't want to fix them so leave him be. Focus on your own life
I only ever mentioned it once and he was the one who brought it up. So I just said ‘oh you could easily get them straightened’ I’m not saying it to him repeatedly.

If I were in his shoes I would want them done - they do look particularly unsightly.

Itsnotover · 08/11/2021 14:51

@motherheroic

You must not have much going on if 'straight teeth are very important in life'.
You assume wrong.
icelolly12 · 08/11/2021 15:53

@itsnotover But you're not him- he doesn't want them fixed. End of. Not sure why you feel the need to discuss someone else's teeth on a public forum.

LIZS · 08/11/2021 15:57

And very crowded or misaligned teeth are not that easy to straighten. Treatment is likely to cost several thousand minimum, possibly involving surgery.

Itsnotover · 08/11/2021 16:50

[quote icelolly12]@itsnotover But you're not him- he doesn't want them fixed. End of. Not sure why you feel the need to discuss someone else's teeth on a public forum.[/quote]

I'm not sure why you need to ask me why I'm discussing anything on a public forum. Why does anyone discuss anything on here? Why do you click on threads that you can't see the point of?

Surgery?!! Do you mean wisdom tooth extraction?

BurntTheFuckOut · 08/11/2021 16:54

No, actual surgery. A friend of mine as a teen had to have both jaws broken and realigned (not the at the same time) and it was HORRIFIC.

I don’t have straight teeth in my overcrowded mouth because my Mum couldn’t be arsed with the bus journey needed. Nor can I afford to have them done now, as an adult. Soz.

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