To give present suggestions?

[Hmumoftw0]

To grandparents for DC? My MIL is awful for buying absolute tut that always ends up at the charity shop, think sale clothes that no one buys 2x larger than the child, toys for the wrong age group, bedding in a character they like but for the wrong size bed, or summer shoes that will fit in winter! (She gets it all in the sale or cheap websites)

FIL usually gives cash unless MIL tells him what to get which she also does to BIL

Last year they turned up with a huge bag of stuff that all ended up at the charity shop, for DD's birthday they bought her a present she already had and didn't understand why her face didn't light up when she opened it but they never bother to ask what she wants

I asked DH to send a suggestion but he never does, I'm sick of MIL asking if iv put DS in an outfit shes bought or shoes etc when iv not even kept them!

Yanbu. I am doing this for exactly the same reason! We have a bag of charity shop clothes that are 6 months-2.5 years too big that were one of PILs recent gifts.

Surely you keep clothes that are too big until they fit, not give them away? My DM likes buying bigger sizes that my DD will grow into, doesn’t bother me, they just stay in a drawer til they fit.

Just tell her you’re cutting down on presents S DD geez overwhelmed. Give a list of 3-4 toys and ask they get one off the list. Don’t wait for husband to do it, take charge and nip it in the bud now x

It would mean the kids get something they like and they aren’t wasting their money.

My twins turn 5 soon and I have provided present guidance to both sets of grandparents and both sets of aunts and uncles for every Christmas and birthday since they were born!!

I've not done this in a rude way, we all agree that the guidance is welcome as we don't want to end up with a house full of shit, they want their gifts to be well received and not waste their money.

Honestly approach it kindly and there is no issue here. The kids still get surprises but in a good way.

No not at all. Been telling folks for years. Result, most people get a gift they love.

@mollypuss1 they aren't the nicest and we don't have anywhere to store them other than the attic

@44PumpLane we do this with all of my family and SIL, its normal to everyone else but I feel like MIL would definitely get offended

I used to let mil know their sizes and any particular interests to try and stave off the tat. It sometimes worked.

Ah... In that case perhaps drop into conversation how your children have been asking for xyz but you think it's too expensive/too similar to something else you have/too old for them..... She may buy it out of spite

God no, but I'm dead brazen!

SIL has form for giving gifts to kids in the family that are too young or not of interest, and so a waste of money. For example, she gave one nephew farm animal finger puppets when he was into (obsessed with) all things Star Wars.

I asked her outright last week if she'd had any thoughts on what she's getting dd for her birthday and Christmas (both in December) under the guise of ensuring no duplicates and she said no, and asked for suggestions.

It makes life easier because it saves disappointed kids and gifts having to be returned or exchanged

I think this is difficult as some people do enjoy choosing a gift, and ultimately a gift is a gift not a request for something you want. I do understand not wanting things to go to waste though so maybe a list they can choose from?

My parents have been offended in the past (rightly or wrongly) when my sister has asked they buy specific things for my nieces, but also because they never say thank you

My SIL would by my kids things too small always and when I took them back to exchange they’d always be end of line sale items that she paid £1 for and I couldn’t even swap for next size up and couldn’t buy much with the refund. Don’t know why she bothered.
The times I bought her DD presents (6yrs before I had my own DC) she’d give them to the charity shop even tho I bought things like a £30 child’s dyson vacuum cleaner or little bits of furniture for her dolls house. I’d rather she have returned them for the cash for her DD.
I stopped bothering after a couple years

@pinkstripeycat yeah its the same here end of line stuff for £2.50!

DH finally messaged last night and was ignored 😂