Basics of navigating marriage breakdown

[navigatingbreakup]

AIBU to ask what the basics are of navigating way through a breakdown of a marriage.

Mortgaged house
One pre school child
Both partners work

Currently living under the same roof but what are the steps to separating the two lives?

One party has been unfaithful and is the party that has decided to end the marriage.

Unlikely one party could afford mortgage on own and also unlikely other party could afford to buy the other out.

Is it a case of selling the house and arranging 50/50 childcare?

Do both parties WANT to sell the house and split the childcare 50/50?

If so, then yes, thats perfectly do-able. If not, well, you're going to have to negotiate a settlement between yourselves, or if you can't agree a judge will decide for you, it's really that simple.

I think one party would prefer to stay in the house but I think the question there is whether they can afford to buy the other person out.

I’m really sorry your going through this. It must be so hard hopefully some more experienced will come along and advise. As you would want to look at all assets

Not been through this but I'd expect the one who cheated and wants divorce to leave and I would then stay in the family home with DC. I'd then expect to go through court etc to decide what to do financially etc if I could afford the mortgage alone with child maintenance etc.

Remember the pensions need to be split as well and sometimes you can trade off pension against house equity.

You need to take proper legal advice from a solicitor on this.

Outside financial arrangements the basics are : don't bad mouth your spouse in front of your child, remember a child benefits from a strong relationship with both parents (regardless of adultery), you have a lifetime of co-parenting ahead of you so take the long view rather than a short one, it is ok to be sad so seek support from friends and family.