Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours

19 replies

Klee1986 · 07/11/2021 11:52

I would like others advice and opinions on a situation I have been going through with some neighbours and children on the estate where I live. This year a couple of separate families have moved into the area, one in a house down the same street. I have lived here since 2013 and it has always been a nice area and never experienced any problems until recently. The family that live down the same street moved here in May, they consist of a mum, stepdad and about 4 boys who range in age from 12 to 21. Two of the boys, 12 and 14 started playing with my eldest son who is 9. I thought they appeared nice and would help my son with building his scooters etc. Just before the 6 weeks holiday my son came to me asking if vaping is good for you. Horrified, I told him no, he started crying and I made him come in. He told me the 12yr old and another were smoking it and told my son to try it as it was good for you. My son didn’t know what it was as he’s never seen one before and stupidly took it. I explained to him that he was wrong in doing so as he should never take anything from anyone before asking me however, the other children were also in the wrong and that he isn’t to play out with them anymore as I don’t want him involved with that behaviour. I never said anything to the parents as I wasn’t sure what reception I would get and I often feel vulnerable as I’m a single mum and have not long been out of a domestically abusive relationship with my boys father. I’m in an end house with a field to the side of me and not long after the vape incident my boys who are 9 and 5 were playing in the back garden. The 12 & 14yr old were on the field right next to the side of my back garden fence one day and started telling my 5yr old to shut the f up as he was singing, they then went on to spray water on my boys through the fence. I decided I had better speak to the parents as things were escalating & it was now infringing on my kids in their own garden. The mum seemed ok and told me she was grateful for me telling her and would make sure they don’t go near my house and that they have moved here from York to get away from trouble. I felt that the situation was hopefully resolved and that would be the end to it, but soon after her 2 boys, the other family previously mentioned that include a girl 12 and brother 7, and also a gang of other kids that I do not know started congregating at the side of my fence on a daily basis giving verbal abuse to my children if they played in the back garden and often sitting there for hours using foul language such as the C word and taking about things such as drugs and oral sex etc. It really started to get myself and my kids down as it was constant and we couldn’t enjoy being in our own garden during the summer. They were also always smashing things at the side of my house such as bikes, footballs etc. Eventually I got in touch with the Council and local PCSO to complain as I had had enough. I saw one of my other neighbours one day and we got talking about the family that have moved in, I didn’t know others down the street were having problems but she told me they were as this family are drug dealing, shouting, swearing and banging constantly in their home as well so a few others down the street also made complaints to the Council. Council sent the family a letter but I think they are convinced it’s just me who has complained, so the stepdad approached me one day as I was walking home from the school run with my boys and started shouting in my face about what my problem was. I tried to explain what his step kids had been doing as his was response was that it’s just kids for you and if I don’t like it I should f off and move as no one f*g likes me round here anyway. The incident upset me and I’ve tried to stay out of the way as much as possible. I hate coming home from work and I dread weekends as to what hassle I’m potentially going to have to deal with and it’s affecting me mentally. The kids have thankfully laid off sitting at the side of my garden but still have the odd problems. Yesterday a boy who is in my eldest son’s class & who often plays with the boys from opposite was smashing a DVD player multiple times at my house wall and has damaged some brick work. My son went out to go ask why and to leave us alone but this boy grabbed him by the neck and started chocking and hurting him. My son had red marks all over his neck and because of this I went to have a word with his mum who said she would deal with it. Whilst I was talking to his mum, this boy and another had put tape all across my front garden and fencing. The other boy involved was the 7yr old I have previously mentioned. He appears to have behavioural problems and attends a naughty school. He often swears at people on the estate and even called me a C* at one point. His parents often have people knocking on their door to make complaints about their kids (the dad even got knocked out last month as wouldn’t control his daughter bullying another girl and the girls dad took matters into his own hands) I was at the the end of my tether yesterday so went and spoke to his mum asking for her to keep him away from my property as I just want to be left alone. She started being all defensive and told me that her son will do what he wants and that she won’t keep him in or really stop him as she can’t and won’t deal with his meltdowns! She basically tried deflecting and making out that I’m in the wrong and that it’s just kids. She also told me that she has heard I had said the field next to my house is mine etc. I told her that I have never ever said that and it’s absolutely ridiculous to think I had. I don’t mind kids playing but I don’t want my property to be damaged, my kids verbally abused and to feel unsafe in my own house, that I just want peace and to be left alone. What I want to know is, have I blown things out of proportion and is it just a case of kids being kids and I should expect it or would others do the same as me? I don’t want any problems or arguments with neighbours and never have until recently. All I want is to be left alone to enjoy being in my own home and not have to worry every time the kids are around that something is going to happen. After my abusive relationship I want myself and more importantly my children to finally be happy but at this moment in time I am far from it.

OP posts:
Alpinechalet · 07/11/2021 12:39

Keep a log of all incidents. If you can afford it, look at getting CCTV fitted. Keep reporting to PCSO and the council.

You have a right not to have your home repeatedly vandalised.

Klee1986 · 07/11/2021 13:26

I have been completing diary sheets and have left a message for the pcso to call me back regarding yesterday. I have a ring doorbell on front but nothing on the back. I’m going to actively try and move once xmas is out of the way.

OP posts:
GoodnightGrandma · 07/11/2021 13:30

If you feel threatened call the police.
Again and again if necessary.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 07/11/2021 13:33

My son went out to go ask why and to leave us alone but this boy grabbed him by the neck and started chocking and hurting him. My son had red marks all over his neck

I'd have been photographing his neck and phoning the police. Shock
Cctv and filing reports with pcos and police everytime.

Klee1986 · 07/11/2021 13:50

I know the police won’t really do anything as the boy in question is 9 and they can’t legally do much until they are 10 and over. However, when the pcso calls me back I will inform her about it.

OP posts:
IsleofRum · 07/11/2021 14:05

You are not being unreasonable, not one iota. You and your children do not need to but up with scum making your life a misery. Every incident call 291 get an incident number and take a note. Call the Scholl, call social services. Contact the council, contact your no. Make sure that Authority know you will not stand for this bs.
There will be school of thought and it emerges on this website as much as anywhere else " be nice and all hold hands together". If it works then do it. Otherwise No Surrender.

TerribleZebra · 07/11/2021 14:09

Keep reporting to the police and keep a diary. The police should give you a reference number you can quote every time you ring 10 1 and it will all get logged together. Do not engage with the parents or kids at all, it doesn't work and could land you in trouble. I had 2 years of something similar and you have my utmost sympathy. My neighbours were eventually threatened with prosecution under the protection from harassment act and they chose to move instead. Do these families rent or own their houses? If they rent it's easier for the police to get them to move on.

Klee1986 · 07/11/2021 14:24

They rent from Council as far as I’m aware. The family who live down the street are on a probationary period but still my local Council say it takes a lot of paperwork and a long time to evict them so not to get hopes up.

No, I’m not going to engage with them anymore as none of them care what their kids are up to as long as they are out of their hair.

Thank you all for your supporting comments and advice.

OP posts:
WeeWelshWoman · 07/11/2021 15:10

CCTV/ Ring camera etc. Call 101 every time there is an incident. The children over 10 are above the age of criminal responsibility. If you are actively fearful/ being threatened (like the shouting incident with the stepdad) call 999.

Offmyfence · 07/11/2021 15:25

Police every time!

Cherrysoup · 07/11/2021 15:31

The kid saluted your child. Call the police and ask them to go round as an emergency if this kind of thing happens. That is seriously not ok. Equally, if they damage your property, call the police. It’s criminal damage. Definitely invest in cctv if you can.

TMChappyascanbe · 07/11/2021 15:59

Honestly, I would move.

I know you shouldn't have to etc but that is what I would do Flowers

Klee1986 · 07/11/2021 16:06

I have just reported the incidents to the police. I know it’s the right thing to do but I have to say I am a bit scared as I seem to get targeted more when I do and the boy who assaulted mine, his parents are friends and well known on the estate so don’t want to be ostracised more or cause further issues. I feel stuck behind a rock and a hard place all the time.
I’m definitely going to move when I can and to be honest it’s the only thing keeping me going at the moment.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 07/11/2021 16:11

The fact that he is nine is a red herring as under 10 his parents will be held responsible for his actions its not a free for all

StoneofDestiny · 07/11/2021 16:16

I'd move. You are not being unreasonable. These kids are not 'just being kids'. They are being thugs, hooligans and vandals. Feral kids with no parental control, because the parents are out of control too.

Klee1986 · 07/11/2021 16:21

The police said someone would call me back regarding the assault and what action they are going to take. I’ve reread my previous message & want to clarify his parents are friends with a lot of others round here not me. Thank you everyone, I’ve really started to doubt myself over the situations as the parents are manipulative in making me feel I’m overreacting and just being a problem myself.

OP posts:
debwong · 07/11/2021 16:35

Good luck OP, I hope the police or council will take some action.

Klee1986 · 07/11/2021 16:44

Thank you. It’s a shame that things end up like this and that the parents I’ve dealt with don’t actually parent their kids anymore. Out of sight, out of mind it seems.

OP posts:
Tuliprain · 07/11/2021 17:08

@LivingLaVidaBabyShower

My son went out to go ask why and to leave us alone but this boy grabbed him by the neck and started chocking and hurting him. My son had red marks all over his neck

I'd have been photographing his neck and phoning the police. Shock
Cctv and filing reports with pcos and police everytime.

So would I. This is assault! Awful.
New posts on this thread. Refresh page