Visiting a newborn with a cold

[Lula63]

Baby is 2 weeks old and just starting to overcome jaundice. I had complications in pregnancy which meant baby had complications post birth relating to an issue with his blood. He has been back to the hospital twice since discharge, at their request, to repeat tests and monitor him. I mention this to give context as to why I might sound a bit OTT.

DH friend visited in the week with their two DC to meet the baby and congratulate us, failing to mention the DC had a cold. It wasn't immediately obvious and by the time I noticed a snotty nose - DC had already been breathing all over baby.

Low and behold I've caught it and I've no doubt baby will follow soon, he's quite unsettled in himself so it's probably already starting.

Would you be annoyed in this scenario? I know colds are everywhere but what is just a cold for some can be RSV and dangerous to tiny babies, bronchilitis etc.

Very selfish to visit when poorly, she should have checked with you 100%.

I’d be annoyed too OP. Even without a new born, I think it’s rude but to check with people if they are happy for you to visit if you have a cold. If I have a cold I always check with people to see if they still want to meet.

If you are BF I think your breast milk might give baby your immunity. Check that ad I’m not certain but baby might not get it.

Congrats on new baby.

Congratulations of your lovely newborn son!
Sorry to hear he's been so unwell and in and out of hospital.
Yes yanbu. It was incredibly selfish and thoughtless for a friend to turn up with DCs who are clearly stuffed full of colds. Most people are careful when they are visiting new babies , including one who has been poorly, and would have thought about this, especially as people have become hyper aware following Covid pandemic lockdowns.
Ugh and you've a C section...to cope with when sneezing...
Hopefully it'll pass and baby will be ok.

It sounds like you need to mentally note this friend is an idiot &'double check her next time ("you or any of the children ill or under the weather? Oh well let's leave it to another time"..)

Babies will catch colds etc in time as life goes on but you don't expose a brand new newborn baby (nor CEV people) deliberately

See, I think most issues are new mom´s overreactions, but here I agree with you. Someone has asked did I want to hold their newborn, and answer was "love to, but I have a cold". Babies getting colds is miserable. I would be annoyed too, it is very careless and thoughtless to do that.

Wouldn’t bother me, just one of those things.

I would want my baby to catch plenty of viruses- it’s great to strengthen their immune system. At 2 weeks they will also still have antibodies from you passed via the placenta.

Babies definitely need to be exposed to germs and viruses during the first year of their lives. But a newborn jaundice baby fresh out of hospital, I would just rather wait for a month or so to make sure they were putting on weight/got over the jaundice etc.

Such a selfish thing to do, hope baby is better soon, steam will help, or saline drops. Many congrats on your baby OP

YANBU. People should be very careful about bringing infections to newborns, especially those who have had health complications. Of course, one can't always know that one's about to come down with something; but if someone knows that they or their children have a cold, they should postpone their visit, or at least avoid coming very close to the baby.

You can't, however, be sure that this child was the one who passed on the cold. You could have got it at the hospital: hospitals are notorious environments for passing on germs.

Hope he's OK.

I’d be annoyed. If my kids were sick I wouldn’t be going near someone’s newborn. It’s not nice dealing with a sick baby especially a new one after giving birth ect so I think excited or not knowingly visiting is unbelievably selfish. It’s preventable unlike a sick sibling!

YABU for not understanding that agreeing to a visit with small children means agreeing to exposure to whatever pathogen they should always be assumed to be carrying. Did you even ask whether they children were sick? Protecting your baby is your responsibility, not your guests'. If you don't want situations like this to happen, you're the one who needs to take the initiative in preventing them.

I’d be livid.

People are far too casual with other people’s health when it comes to colds and d&v.

You don’t go and visit someone’s home with a raging cold without checking first. And when they have a newborn you just don’t do it.

It's always been the rules not to take cold germs into the houses of newborns. It's just rude, creates more stress where no more is required.

I would be absolutely livid but would have probably said something there and then.
I have a 15 week old baby and I'll be honest, I make people do LFT before they come over.
A family member had a cold when he was about 6 weeks and I asked them to keep away for 2 weeks.
Some may say I'm over the top - I don't want to see my baby poorly especially during a pandemic.
I'm too paranoid to take them into supermarkets because of germs!

Can you tell this baby is my first?

YANBU that's really selfish of them OP

Op it breaks my heart that humans don't respect these vulnerable tiny beings who have literally just landed and so so vulnerable.
I can't understand it.
Why do people do it??

Yanbu at all!

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. My babies spent a week very very poorly in hospital and almost had to be ventilated because of RSV, just from catching a cold. I made it very clear to all friends and family to please never visit if they were ill. Older siblings bringing bugs home from nursery/school is unavoidable, but ill visitors absolute are avoidable!

I didn’t mean to scare you by saying that by the way, I’m sure your baby will be ok. I just wanted to point out for those who don’t think a cold is a big deal, sometimes it can be. And congratulations on the new baby.