Make Friend and I reconnected a year ago. Previously we had been mainly text buddies with the occasional coffee catch up. Both busy. He is also a flakey friend, but as superficial friends you accept it.
Lockdown last year we both bubbled up as single. Spent lots of time together as friends. Then he went through a mental health crisis where we couldn’t work etc. He told his friends, but they offered limited support. I supported him through it. When he was off work we spent days together, went out for food and texted daily. He would do lovely things for me to say thanks. Was really reliable.
He recovered and went back to work. Texted daily and would meet up once a week. Until we had an odd cinema experience. It felt like a date - he paid, kept staring at me and kept touching my arm. It just felt odd as if he was taking me on a date.
We were talking about a holiday. I Suggested Dublin or Paris as it’s close and flight times fitted a weekend get away after work. He said You want to go to Paris most Romantic city in the world with me. I said only cause it’s close. He has been funny since.
Since then he doesn’t text first. He will answer my texts. Will meet, but not our regular catch up. Says we should go to a specific event or to make plans at weekend, but doesn’t commit. Granted he has his teenager most weekends now as his teenager is having issues with her mum, so it’s a break for all.
Final nail was this week when we met up. I asked when he was free to go to the cinema to see the movie we both wanted to see together. Said he had gone with his mate. He then told me he is busy now he is back at work and with his teenagers behaviour, as she is increasingly staying at his more. He told me as he left, it’s not like I am off work anymore with lots of time and needed company.
It got me thinking that he only used me as we both had time and he was depressed so retreated from life. I know he is worried sick about his teenager and is trying to spend as much time with her as possible.
I feel like he is trying to distance me. It all seems to stem from the cinema.
I am distancing myself and being less available. But it hurts that he is investing energy into people who ignored him through his crisis and ignoring me who supported him.
Any advice?