To ask you about your short lived friendships

[jazzupyourchuff]

Not ones where you fell out but maybe ones that were at a certain time or in a certain place.
My contribution is a girl I met whilst working in a city in Spain. We were from opposite ends of the country, different cultures but became absolute best mates for that month. Aimed to meet up when we got back to the U.K. but it never happened and eventually we stopped messaging. I think of her fondly though, and the crazy amazing time we had.
I have another emerging one with a mum at school who I hung out with nearly every night after school when her husband was away. Long summer evenings in the park with our daughters, each saying 'we'll go in a minute.' Now it's too cold, she's moved and her husband has come back and it all feels different already.

Ah, yes, lot’s of these, some good, some bad.

I regret the friendships that ended because of my not staying in contact.

For example, I lived abroad for a year as an English assistant, was welcomed by the teachers there, young and old, and yet didn’t stay in touch due to issues I had at the time.

It’s one of my biggest regrets, and I am too embarrassed to contact them now.

@Squeezita true, there is a time limit to reconnecting with people. Too long and it's weird!

So many people I've laughed and cried with, hugged, shared secrets. Then...nothing. Sometimes it's them, sometimes me. Most of the time it's just a moment in time where the planets align and it's a particular set of circumstances that you can't repeat.

I think it's good though, who wants to drift through life with the same set of friends that never changes or evolves? It helps you to grow as a person.

Some of rhe best friendships I've ever made have lasted 5 mins ....... in the pub loo

I made a really good friend when planning my wedding to my ex. We saw each other lots and I was over the moon because I didn't have any other local friends. It just sort of petered out, I started to feel bad that she always did the driving to come to me or take us out etc because I can't drive for medical reasons. She never made me feel bad but I did all the same! I had a rough pregnancy where I was ill a lot, moved house, lost Grandparents and our friendship sort of fell by the wayside. I still follow her business page on IG. Think about sending her a message sometimes but I know in all likelihood the same thing would happen as I still can't drive, plus I'm busier now with work etc.

Too many to count, because I moved around a lot in my early life. But one in particular I will never forget. I worked in a hotel in Europe in the mid 1990s with a wonderful woman who was a refugee from Bosnia. We were incredibly close. When we left the hotel at the end of the ski season, we had arranged to meet up in a nearby city on the evening before I flew home and she went back to a different area of the country. I became really, really ill with glandular fever and wasn't able to get out of bed. This was before mobile phones and we hadn't exchanged any other contact details yet. I had no way to let her know why I couldn't make it. She would just have thought I'd stood her up. One of my biggest regrets. If you're reading this, Yasminke, I still think of you 25 years later.

@Somethingsnappy

Too many to count, because I moved around a lot in my early life. But one in particular I will never forget. I worked in a hotel in Europe in the mid 1990s with a wonderful woman who was a refugee from Bosnia. We were incredibly close. When we left the hotel at the end of the ski season, we had arranged to meet up in a nearby city on the evening before I flew home and she went back to a different area of the country. I became really, really ill with glandular fever and wasn't able to get out of bed. This was before mobile phones and we hadn't exchanged any other contact details yet. I had no way to let her know why I couldn't make it. She would just have thought I'd stood her up. One of my biggest regrets. If you're reading this, Yasminke, I still think of you 25 years later.

Aww hopefully she knows something happened that meant you couldn’t make it.

It’s like a friend version of An Affair to Remember 🥲

Met a mum in the park who had a similar age son to my DS1. I don't normally chat to people in the park but we actually got on pretty well and had a couple more play dates. Then I added her on FB so she could add me to a nature education group we'd discussed. Her page was all full of anti-Vax, Covid is a hoax, conspiracy theory stuff. I'm an NHS doctor and worked in Covid ICU in the second wave.

She's still on about the same rubbish, now with an added dose of climate change denial.

@Bobobobobob
Spot on! I hadn't thought about that for a while. Yes, I've had some very interesting conversations in the ladies. Also some moments of enlightenment.

Yes I think some friendships serve a point in time and then you move on.

What do they say about some friends are for a lifetime and others just for a season. I read that and quite liked it. I had a really good friend when I was at a running club but then I suffered two bad injuries, one after the other, which meant I couldn’t run for over a year. Our friendship kind of fizzled out really.

I lived overseas for a while. I met a woman on a yoga holiday about a month before we were due to move back. She was going through some big drama and we stayed up late talking through it all. I saw her loads over the next few weeks. She was one of life’s talkers and had incredible tales to tell about her life. I was pretty sure half of it wasn’t true, and if I wasn’t leaving the country I’d have avoided getting too close, but she was definitely entertaining during a generally stressful time. And she introduced me to my favourite cocktail so I’ll always think fondly of her. I didn’t hear a peep from her from the moment I stepped off the plane back in the UK!

When DD was about 1 there was another mum I'd see at groups and out and about with her similar aged son. We used to chat together all the time. Then she just stopped coming to groups and I stopped seeing her around, I guess she moved away we never added each other on SM or exchanged numbers so I'll never know.

This guy on a course I was on a few years ago. No attraction but we had the exact same sense of humour. Sometimes I randomly think of things that only he would have found funny! But life has been crazy and don't talk to anyone I was on the course with anymore.

Loads. Most friendships are situational - the situation changes, eg you move, and the friendship ends. No drama, but relatively few friendships persist forever.

Travelling abroad is the classic way of having short term but quite intense friendships. Or doing a year abroad studying. Or summer school etc. Anything where both people are equally new to a situation is prone to this - I think first time parents at NCT groups can have it too. Or trainees starting together in high stress jobs

In some cases, I still have them on social media so will on occasion see a photo etc and have some vague idea where they are at in their life. Fascinating to see people change over time - I was roommates with a girl on a summer school abroad at 19. She was super nerdy, sweet girl who had never been outside the US until then - she had brought packets of Kraft Mac and cheese with her in case she didn't like the food in Germany. I saw her a year later when I was in US on a course and spent a day and a night at her place and she showed me vintage stores and quirky craft shops which she loved then.

She is now some insanely well paid financier in a hedge fund, jetting around the world and eating in amazing restaurants and carrying very expensive hand bags. Totally different from who she was at 19 and 20.