Drop off's at party's

[jazzupyourchuff]

After Covid we are finally experiencing the weird and wonderful world of children's birthday party's.
I have some questions:
1.) When parents say that there is the option to drop off, do they mean that? Who decides how many of us can drop off because they'd be royally ducked if we all decided to. Is there a rota I don't know about. Not sure there is as it always seems to be the same parents legging it out the door.
2.) is booze ever acceptable?
3.) is the food for parents too?
4.) presents, opened after everyone goes right? To avoid the excruciating thought of the bday kid throwing the book you bought to one side.
5.) siblings? Are they allowed to? If just one and similar age?
I'm finding it all a minefield. And yes I've seen the motherland episode!

Siblings... ask parents, always pay entry fees and avoid the 'party room' if possible.
Alcohol... been to some with wine/beer or even a bar. Really depends where it is (a common party venue was a pub in one village i lived in as they had a great enclosed garden and didn't mind you bringing food in if parents were using the bar, even if just soft drinks)
People staying... often friends of the host
Presents opened afterwards although birthday child might sneak a look in a gift bag.
Parents get leftovers

1. if I say drop off I already know I have enough adults. If it says it on a party invite for dd1 I can’t get out the door quick enough, dd2 I have to hang around as she likes me too. I assumed the host also knows they have enough adults and a few will stay.
2. I always saw booze at younger kids parties more strangely. Offered a glass of Prosecco or wine, beer. Depending on driving uptake not always very high anyway. As they get older it’s smaller groups and more likely to drop off so not really. But definitely acceptable around here anyway.
3. the food is for the kids. Sometimes there might be some separate sandwiches/wraps/cake for adults, again more when kids younger and everyone making more effort. Not so much now.
4. presents opened after party. Been to one or two where they open during and it’s not fair I don’t think. Some parents might have less to spend etc.
5. if it doesn’t say siblings are welcome then they’re not. But if you’re struggling with childcare I’ve never minded one coming if asked and will happily provide food and party bag. Not had many/any turn up unannounced but do think that’s rude unless they’re tiny tots with their own food.

Apologies for multiple typos

How old are the children and how many are you inviting?

@Lemonsyellow year 1, 20 kids

Yes they may all drop off in year 1. As host the onus is on you to ensure you have enough adults to supervise or make it clear that parents need to stay.

If you ask for parents to stay then depending on venue you offer them a drink and nibbles. Party food for kids only.

Siblings - many a cf will come with a sibling in tow. They SHOULD ask if it's ok. Many don't. So again make it clear you cannot accommodate extras if you can't.

Presents opened at home once everyone has gone. Make a list of who has given what!

I'd say buy party bags Pre done these make life loads easier than hunting round for stuff

When parents say that there is the option to drop off, do they mean that? Who decides how many of us can drop off because they'd be royally ducked if we all decided to. Is there a rota I don't know about. Not sure there is as it always seems to be the same parents legging it out the door.

Why would they be fucked if everyone drops off? If they suggest this I would assume they have enough support/ man power themselves.
2.) is booze ever acceptable?
Sometimes there's wine, but it's rare in my circles.

3.) is the food for parents too?
If it's a buffet then after children have eaten- yes. If hot dogs or lunch boxes no.

4.) presents, opened after everyone goes right? To avoid the excruciating thought of the bday kid throwing the book you bought to one side.
Yes that's right.

5.) siblings? Are they allowed to? If just one and similar age?
We don't mind siblings at a church hall party (but let us know) but if soft play etc you have to pay and they don't eat with the party.

1.) When parents say that there is the option to drop off, do they mean that? Of course, or they wouldn't have specifically said it

Who decides how many of us can drop off because they'd be royally ducked if we all decided to. Is there a rota I don't know about. Not sure there is as it always seems to be the same parents legging it out the door. Whenever I hosted parties, I made sure I had enough adults to look after the number of guests. I also expected other parents to do that. For some that might mean roping in Grandparents or their own siblings or mates, for others that might mean asking some specific other parents to stay.

2.) is booze ever acceptable? Up to the host (and premises). If they choose to offer adult guests a glass of wine or a beer, I wouldn't have an issue with it. Easier than making tea.

3.) is the food for parents too? Again, depends. Generally, no but after the dc have eaten, the hosts would generally not have any issue with adults hoovering up the leftovers if you want food that a bunch of dc have rejected

4.) presents, opened after everyone goes right? To avoid the excruciating thought of the bday kid throwing the book you bought to one side. Yup. Put on one side when guests arrive. Take them home with you

5.) siblings? Are they allowed to? If just one and similar age?
No. Incredibly rude to bring gatecrashers

1. yes

2. most people won’t want to drink but I have seen booze on offer occasionally

3. food for kids but nice to have drinks for adults even if just some water they can help themselves too. I’ve been to some parties where there’s a separate spread with cheese boards etc for the adults but that was ott (and great)

4. presents after

5. I’ve hosted many a children’s party and siblings were always welcome provided that your given a heads up in advance. I tend not to ask unless it’s in a park or similar situation where numbers don’t count because people on mumsnet are so so so very very outraged by it. I make sure I let people know they can bring siblings if it’s continent incase they’ve also read mumsnet and live in fear

Convenient not continent!

1. Yes drop offs bc party host will have already arranged either family or other parents to help.
2. No. It's a children's birthday party, not a family BBQ
3. Food is for children, they aren't feeding parents. If I have spare afterwards, might suggest parents tuck in but most is gone
4. Yes, presents opened later
5. No to siblings unless party host says siblings are welcome. Drop off if you don't have anyone to leave siblings with. Party host has catered for the children her child has invited. Not endless family members of invited friends who take over birthday child's party. Most places have a limit on numbers.

Year 1 only 1 of the parents left.
Year 2 some parents started leaving, about half.
Year 3 no parties covid.
Year 4 now out of 20 kids last week 5 of us stayed.
We are London.
Some cheeky parents will definitely try and palm off the siblings without checking, I usually make a couple of spare party bags for this situation.
Alcohol unnecessary. Usually make a tea/coffee for those that stay.
Food/cake is just for the kids.
If its a softplay type place or where you need to pay per head def watch for people trying to leave additional kids.
Parties in private homes, I'd say more parents actually tend to stay.

If I suggest you drop - I want you to drop. I am sociable so personally enjoy having a few parents come in at pick up for a drink.

Once kids are in school it is veyr stressful also hosting adults - I appreciate when people do it, but generally it's easier to just have the kids and focus on them.

Again - with alcohol - tended to do that when kids were v little and parents stayed - as they get older you just want to do the kids party and get it over with.

I can honestly say that if I was expected to stay and there was no booze I'd be slightly folorn - surely the point of adults staying is let them have a chat and relax. few bottles of wine is not expensive.

Siblings - I have never minded this but seems to be bizarrely unpopular on mumsnet.

I just did a drop and run, I had previously asked two parents to stay so I meant it. The main reason we were limited on numbers due to enterntainers limits and half the class group insist on bringing uninvited siblings to previous parties. Drop and run solved this problem as no need for additional childcare!

Alcohol depends on group - my eldests its rare, my youngest parents seem to treat it as a big mummy's social activitiy and drink a lot.

If I have adults staying, I provide biscuits and don't care if parents eat off left overs but on the whole I cater for kids only. Joy of parents not staying no need for making cups of tea all flipping afternoon.

Presents on a table to be opened after, I have taken to sending a quick video of child saying thankyou on whatsapp as we open!

1. Depends how well you know the family and how comfortable the child is being left with them.

1. Probably would avoid booze at a kids party.

1. I like the cheese board idea mentioned above.

1. I think it's polite to open presents infront of the people who gave you them. It's an opportunity to say thank you. Does depend on the venue though.

1. A bit rude to take someone not invited to a party although I would welcome siblings in certain circumstances and with prior warning, for example, if there was no other childcare or sibling that had problems making friends etc.

Drop off: started around age 6/7, couldn’t be dealing with a random kid’s toileting issues when I was hosting. Also, as the host, I always spoke separately with parents of kids with allergies as I didn’t want to be responsible for an anaphylactic response (at one point one of my DC had 6 kids with nut allergies in their class). Once the child is about 9yo it’s a real pita if parents stay, unless they’re friends…and then your child hates it.

Booze/food: what time is the party? If it’s a morning party, I’d have a box of coffee and a bunch of Danish pastries. If after 2pm, tea and cake, seltzer water, sparkling water with a couple of bottles of wine - but they’d never be opened. If over lunchtime, I’d have enough food and drink (alcoholic options for parents) to feed everyone. Whether alcohol is consumed is down to how large your critical mass of drinkers is.

Presents: always opened at home later

Siblings: I’ve only ever been asked once before and said yes, despite having to pay for another head. It’s not on, really

When I had DC that age the answers were

1.) It's genuine as I always knew a few of the parents who were my close friends would stay and help run things.
2.) Didn't see any, but when you're in church halls and so on that's prob less likely
3.) Parents tend to eat the leftovers. Might be teas and coffees on offer.
4.) Yes, open presents afterwards at home
5.) Always ask first about siblings, and offer to pay if it's a soft play type party

Drop off - if it's an invite I'd take it as such. But as a parent of a very shy child I have stayed so far (asked in advance). Dreading when he gets to the age this is socially unacceptable (yr 2 at the mo).

Alcohol - depends on time and venue. We've had afternoon parties at home and always offered booze and food for parents. But they've been small parties - wouldn't have done this with whole class full.

Always open presents at home later.

Sibs ask in advance. I wouldn't mind as the host at a house/ church hall party, but not if it's a pay per child venue (unless offer to pay) xx