Anyone else feel like they aren’t very charismatic?

[Krisjongun1]

I think I’m friendly, funny and I try to show an interest in people.
However I feel like I’m just nice but ‘meh’ in most people’s eyes.
I see things on social media where people had a ton of lockdown doorstop birthday visits, deliveries etc.
I know big groups are misleading, it doesn’t mean they’re all close friends or really like each other that much.
But for instance I’ve just messaged two separate friends about meeting up, gave a specific day, and they were both very vague, non-committal and I’ve never heard from them since.

There are some people who will meet up when I ask, but they will never initiate first.

Maybe I’m not as nice as I thought, just feel so unforgettable and that I’ll have to just live with it.

I feel like this a lot, I'm not sure how people forge these deep and meaningful friendships seemingly with loads of people. But then I look at what I do have - all be it a small group of friends but lovely people and a brilliant family and I'm not too fussed. But I do see what you mean. These days I can barely look someone in the eyes when talking to them, like I've lost confidence in talking to people. No idea why as for the last 16 years I've been a full on sales person! But privately I feel like I've lost that confident person. Odd really.

This bugged me until quite recently, until I read something that said (roughly),
"You are the main character in your own life only. No one else is thinking about you as much as you are thinking about you."

I don't think anyone is going out of their way to ignore or dismiss you. It's just that everyone is busy with their own unique brand of shit and complicated lives.

I think in general the people who get made a fuss of the most are those who are the most high maintenance in personality.

I see what you mean about the high maintenance thing. I also agree with people being busy with their own stuff but at the same time surely if they really wanted to then their lives would involve me

They may have just been busy on that specific date. Could you ask them when they are free instead.

I often think that people who have busy social lives need less sleep and just find that it takes less energy to maintain social communication.

@Pedalpushers

I think in general the people who get made a fuss of the most are those who are the most high maintenance in personality.

So true, they demand atttention and people come running

I find that I get out what I put in. If I set up social things all the time and assume 30% of people are going to bail every time, I may look popular. I plug away and don't take anything personally.

I think people are too busy with their own shit, atm I think a lot of people have a lot on their plate.

I'm also perfectly capable of being a lazy arse (especially in this weather) and not signing up to other peoples efforts either.

And I don't think it's about charisma. Good listeners are often worth twice anyone who can tell a funny story.

I'm not but that's my own fault. People irritate me

I'm nor charismatic and I don't care. I don't really want to be. I do have some close friends and I'm happy with that. Some extraverted people who use Social media a lot do get attention but I don't think they necessarily have more rewarding friendships.