Friend staying - want to make sure I'm being fair

[Onlyonlylonely]

Hello everyone,

Long time lurker, not very often a poster! I would so appreciate advice - I just want to make sure I'm being fair and not grabby with my friend, but also not putting pressure on myself financially.

Friend is staying with me for 3 months.

They are contributing their fair share to food and household chores, and have also agreed to help me out with babysitting my 2 children at least once a week whilst they are here (I'm a single mother of 2).

Should I ask for a contribution to gas & electricity too? I was thinking the babysitting helps me so much financially, and seeing as they don't have their own room here (sleeping on sofa), that the equal food & chores contribution is fair, and babysitting is usually one of my biggest outgoings!

Also asking because my family won't give me a balanced answer, and I end up feeling like every decision I make is wrong- they would recommend I charge this person a third of the rent!

YABU - Ask for contribution to gas & electricity
YANBU - DO NOT as for contribution to gas & electricity

@polmuggle, they won't be doing that. 3 months is the max they will be here, as they want to go back to their home country if all goes smoothly, Covid-wise.

We will review if it extends.

Let’s say your gas and electric goes up by £30 or even £40 a month. And you use her to babysit for 4 hours a month. That’s £10 an hour so it equals it out.

If she is doing you favours like free babysitting and in a round about way they cancel the cost out then I would let it go OP.

I agree, thank you!

I hit YABU by accident but no, definitely don't ask for money towards gas and electric. Especially as your friend hasn't got her own room and will be helping you out with babysitting.

I think she is helping you out here.so no I would not be comfortable to ask her to pay atm .however as pp said do you have an end date here,otherwise it could well go on .does she have plans to get a place of her own then

It's funny people saying they wouldn't ask for babysitting or anything as it's a friend. I think it's great that you're working all this through in advance so there is no resentment or hard feelings. Agree that no cost for heating unless your costs go up because of them being there.

Absolutely not

And you know your own finances and the situation. Best not to poll family!

It's good of you to let her stay @Onlyonlylonely and good of her to babysit etc. I'm glad you've decided not to ask for extra

Maybe if the bills do skyrocket, have a chat if you're stuck. I'm sure she would understand

I wouldnt ask for more

If she is in / wfh while you are all out during the day I would ask extra if she has the heating on.

Otherwise, no.

Do you receive benefits?

Will have to declare another adult living with you
And will impact what you receive

I would only charge extra for gas & electricity if either is likely to significantly go up due to her staying, so for example if she is wfh all day with the heating on and powering a high speed computer at times the house would have otherwise been empty your bills might see a noticeable increase. If she is out of the house at the same times you usually are and so isn’t having the heating on more often and is only using standard amounts of electricity I doubt your bills will see a big difference so I wouldn’t charge her.