Child told to not play with my dd

[venusmay]

Dd is in Y4 and had a falling out with a boy in the year below her at school. They have always been friends but he'd been hitting her in the playground and I spoke to her teacher about it. Since then the boys mum has told the little sister (who dd was very friendly with) to tell my dd she can no longer speak to her or play with her in the playground.

AIBU to think this is just spiteful? The problem was between dd and the brother and has since been resolved.

It might be spiteful or it might be that she has heard another version of events, or possibly she thinks the dynamics between the 3 children are causing more trouble than the friendship is worth. As your dd is Y4 and this little girl is younger than her brother she will be a Y1 or Y2 so it could even be as simple as the mother trying to encourage her to play more with children in her own year rather than lose those friendships to play with the exciting bigger girl who may get bored at any minute. Basically there could be all sorts of reasons so probably best not to worry about it.

Maybe you are right, the other mum has been badmouthing to some of the other mums.

She’s probably been telling everyone it’s your dd’s fault and her playing nicely with her daughter doesn’t fit into the narrative. Don’t bother analysing it. Just encourage your dd to make friends her age - she’ll soon forget the little girl.

It might not be the mum, maybe the sister feels loyalty to brother or maybe brother has suggested she shouldn't play with your dd. If it is the parents then better off distancing anyway as they aren't the sort of friends you want.

Did you talk to the mother about it first before you went to the teacher?

Not worth analysing.
Move on. Friends change.

Do you have the full version of events? Does the other mother? Kids tend to tell only their side of the story and unfortunately can miss out important parts they have have played in the whole scenario. It happens, its resolved now, so all good.

I shouldn't worry.Her DD must be alot younger than your DD anyway so probably shes just trying to distance her from her because the issues between her DS and your DD previously (of which I imagine she has only her DS's version of events)

Having been through something similar - please don’t dwell on the situation.

Anyone she is badmouthing you to can choose to ignore, if they don’t, then at least you know they aren’t decent people either.

Playground politics are ridiculous. Hold your head high and encourage your DD to play with her other friends.

I don't understand why parents insist on micromanaging and interfering in their children friendship (unless there's bullying involved).
Even if she hated you she shouldn't be telling her little girl not to play with yours. Unfortunately i don't think there is anything you can about it.