To ask about your couple social life

[Kitchendisco21]

My DP is really antisocial - doesn’t really have many friends, doesn’t like going out, is quite socially awkward. I am the total opposite and am quite sociable and have a wide circle of friends who I hang out with. As a result we don’t really have a couple social life. We holiday/spend camping weekends/new year with old mates but no one else & they don’t live local to us.

I have work friends/mum friends/ old friends/Uni friends etc and socialise in different ways with all of them both where I live and in other places too.

Someone called us weird today as we don’t socialise as a couple & it’s made me feel paranoid. I’m really independent & never thought it an issue before but clearly other people think it’s strange that I am not joined at the hip with my OH.

Aibu to ask about your social life?

We are the same. DH doesn't really have friends and I have a fair number. I see them by myself and that's how I like it. We do plenty as a family too but our social life suits us both. Don't let others bother you if you're both happy with the way things are 😊

DH sees his friends occasionally, but I don't have any locally. One overseas, one disabled who hardly goes out and I miss getting the chance to see as she lives in a different region. So day to day, I am happy just staying local. We don't really do couple things unless you count dog walking when kids are in school?!

YABU to question what has obviously been working for you. Don't let someone else's insecurities get to you.

This ^
What does it matter what you do as long as you are both happy with it ?
My dh and I go to lots of things without the other. We like doing different things.

We don't have many friends. My DH is perfectly happy not socialising. I keep in touch with people but think I've stopped seeing people.

You do you & don't worry.

DH and I have been together for 25 years.

He has his friends and I have my friends. We do have a small 'couple' group who we get together with every now and again. But otherwise our circles don't touch.

We have always tagged teamed kids if one wants to go out without the other and hang out together with the kiddos a lot as well.

Works for us.

We don’t have one. At all. We have young DC and no one around to babysit. Not that we had much of one pre DC either!

We rarely socialise as a couple as we hardly ever manage to get a babysitter: if we do, we go out for dinner together and have time together. We do socialise occasionally as a family with other families and a couple who we have been friends with for 18 years.

The person who called you weird is just rude, everyone's relationship is different. Ignore them.

We socialise together. At home on our sofa!

I've two brothers.

One couple socialise together all the time. They've loads of joint friends.

The other couple have never socialised together outside of formal invitations, such as weddings. They have completely separate friendship groups.

My husband and I do a bit. Not often.

Dh and I have been happy for over two decades now being the same as you are. Occasionally someone comments but it doesn’t bother me. I have a happy marriage and a healthy social life in which I’m my own person. Dh is happy too.

I am exactly the same as you. I honestly wish DH had some friends he socialised with but I live with it because he is very happy to do things with my friends and gets on well with them. We also do some couply things with siblings/cousins.

It didnt occur to me it was weird to not have couple friends.

My DH has always worked away abroad during our marriage ( over 30 years ) so I see my friends alone, he sees his friends alone when he's at home, usually for a whole weekend piss up.
We don't have mutual friends. When we go out together, we go out as a couple rather than with others.

You're not weird! DH and I enjoy each others company more than anyone elses (hence the marriage!), we will very occasionally go out for dinner with joint friends, but we both like to be at home, and I like to socialise with my girlfriends alone!

Whoever called you "weird" is rude and needs to mind their own business!

We are close with two other couples that we socialise with all together (usually during the day with DC in tow) but the women from this group also meet up for drinks or dinner without the men and vice versa. I go out with my friends from work regularly and it wouldn't occur to me to invite DH to be honest. He plays golf with friends once a month or so, which I definitely wouldn't want to be included in as it doesn't interest me in the slightest! We have two small children so opportunities to socialise together are limited anyway. If we have a rare childfree evening (if DC have a sleepover with GP's) then we prefer to spend it just the two of us.

Before I became disabled and before covid we socialised quite a lot as a couple. We do still have our own friends though DH is a bit rubbish at staying in touch with his.

Over the summer months we socialised three times as a couple. We had a lovely BBQ one weekend which we both prepped for and it was like the old days but I needed days to recover.

We are both very sociable people. We have some friends that we hang out with together and some that we would mostly see individually - certainly not joined at the hip, I find couples who can't do anything apart from each other a bit strange to be honest. A bit of independence is good!

We socialise together and separately. Most of our old friends we'll see together. It's quite funny because some of his friends are now closer with me and some of my friends are closer with him.

Never socialise together. Me and dh have very different friends, although we each individually get on with our other half's friends that doesn't extend to their partners - it just doesn't work for us. So we socialise separately plus I'm not a fan of drunk dh.