AIBU - Do you re-gift unwanted Birthday / Christmas presents?

[OCM19]

As the title suggests - I would be interested to know who re-gift unwanted presents and who thinks it's unreasonable .

I think "regift" almost implies that you're going to wrap it up again and gift it to someone else for a birthday or Christmas present as if you chose and purchased it for them. I don't really like the idea of that, it doesn't seem to be in the true spirit of gift giving. Certainly, the point of gift giving for special occasions is not to get rid of stuff you don't want, it's to make a special effort to choose, buy, or make a gift for the recipient.

However, just saying "hey, would you like this jumper my mum gave me, it's cashmere but I don't like the colour on me, I think it would suit you though!" is absolutely fine IMHO. It's only a little sad to think of the original gift giver... But then again if I bought someone a bottle of gin and they don't drink gin, or a scarf in a colour they don't like, I'd rather think of them giving it to a grateful friend than the thought of it gathering dust for years while they feel guilty about not using it, or that it ends up in the bin.

@Snowisfallinghere

I think "regift" almost implies that you're going to wrap it up again and gift it to someone else for a birthday or Christmas present as if you chose and purchased it for them. I don't really like the idea of that, it doesn't seem to be in the true spirit of gift giving. Certainly, the point of gift giving for special occasions is not to get rid of stuff you don't want, it's to make a special effort to choose, buy, or make a gift for the recipient.

However, just saying "hey, would you like this jumper my mum gave me, it's cashmere but I don't like the colour on me, I think it would suit you though!" is absolutely fine IMHO. It's only a little sad to think of the original gift giver... But then again if I bought someone a bottle of gin and they don't drink gin, or a scarf in a colour they don't like, I'd rather think of them giving it to a grateful friend than the thought of it gathering dust for years while they feel guilty about not using it, or that it ends up in the bin.

That's exactly what re-gift means, isn't it? It's a horrible thing to do.

I don't think regifting is horrible if it is something that is nice but just surplus to requirements. I think it as honouring the gift to me as it has saved me time and money from buying a gift or has helped me to give something to my chosen charity. So I'm very grateful for the gift and it is a gift even if I don't keep it. All good.

@glimpsing

I don't think regifting is horrible if it is something that is nice but just surplus to requirements. I think it as honouring the gift to me as it has saved me time and money from buying a gift or has helped me to give something to my chosen charity. So I'm very grateful for the gift and it is a gift even if I don't keep it. All good.

Don't you think it's just cheap? It's great to pass things on to people that you know would appreciate them. But to do that rather than purchase a present for them?

In theory yes but in practice not usually. I tend to think if a gift is crap enough that I don't want it my loved ones probably won't either. I give things to the chazza or last year I just left a couple of things outside my house and they got taken!

Aren’t most things that get regifted pretty bland or anonymous anyway?

I don’t think when most people talk about regifting that it’s a carefully chosen personal item from your sister or whatever. It’s more the bland toiletry sets, duplicate Lego from a child you don’t know well at the whole class party, chocolates you don’t like from the neighbour two doors down kind of thing.

I don’t then see why one can’t wrap them up again and regift to Aunty X who loves Royal Jelly sets, the dance teacher or the next kid with an all class party! It’s not a moral failing to regift a decent item you just don’t happen to like or won’t use.

Don't you think it's just cheap? It's great to pass things on to people that you know would appreciate them. But to do that rather than purchase a present for them?

No, a present's a present.🤷‍♀️ I don't mind receiving regifted / old / charity shop finds either, if it's something I like, l just like it - no matter the cost or non cost.

Yes. I have a present box, it contains unwanted gifts and bargains that I’ve found and know will come in handy for upcoming birthdays etc.

I'd pass it on but not regift it as a birthday or Christmas present.

I regift stuff like gift sets of toiletries, or things I already have. I think regifting is only ok if the person wouldn't be able to tell.

I don't re-gift much: if someone's given me a cheap book on sale or bubble bath I don't want I'm not going to burden someone else with it.
Everything goes to charity if we don't want it except alcohol.
Every Christmas at work my husband is given so many bottles ( more than two dozen most years) we can't possibly drink them all. We keep red wine and gin and re gift whisky which we don't drink. Take other bottles of wine when we go someone for dinner.

@foxgoosefinch

Aren’t most things that get regifted pretty bland or anonymous anyway?

I don’t think when most people talk about regifting that it’s a carefully chosen personal item from your sister or whatever. It’s more the bland toiletry sets, duplicate Lego from a child you don’t know well at the whole class party, chocolates you don’t like from the neighbour two doors down kind of thing.

I don’t then see why one can’t wrap them up again and regift to Aunty X who loves Royal Jelly sets, the dance teacher or the next kid with an all class party! It’s not a moral failing to regift a decent item you just don’t happen to like or won’t use.

Absolutely this!

I don't do it so much now kids are older, but we often had duplicates at parties that went to the next kid you didn't know for their party or the Christmas charity toy collection. I don't often get toiletries sets but they go to the food bank or Christmas present request from charities.

I have no qualms about it, but they usually are generic multi-buy gifts, not carefully thought out personal items.

This ^^ it actually makes me cringe to think people will just pass on any old thing that they don’t want. Gifts should be given with thought and care..Regifting says you don’t give a shit, you’re cheap or can’t be arsed. It’s an insult.

Wow! You sound hard work! People don't have to jump through hoops to give me gifts. It is supposed to be fun! People have different incomes, I'm not bothered about expense. If I don't like it I'll find a use for it. The use might be as a regift if it is something suitable for the recipient.

All this demanding thoughtful gifts just creates too much stress. Lighten up people!

I hate the whole concept of regifting. I think it’s cheap and thoughtless and often it has been quite obvious to me when something has been regifted. It’s usually been some sort of tat like a boots gift set that looks like it’s from Christmas yet given to you later in the year….or some sort of cheap looking bubble bath or candle.

In terms of these sorts of tatty gifts; cheap moisturisers, bubble bath, rubbishy cosmetic gift sets….I just despair! Does anyone actually like this stuff? I bet each year it just ends up in charity shops or being regifted…to someone who probably finds it equally naff. Such a waste of money not to mention all the packaging/plastic involved.

@Ionlydomassiveones

“Certainly, the point of gift giving for special occasions is not to get rid of stuff you don't want, it's to make a special effort to choose, buy, or make a gift for the recipient.”

This ^^ it actually makes me cringe to think people will just pass on any old thing that they don’t want. Gifts should be given with thought and care. Regifting says you don’t give a shit, you’re cheap or can’t be arsed. It’s an insult.

@Ionlydomassiveones

usually yes.
but if you are given something you don't need, don't like, don't want, doesn't fit etc that just means that the person who gave it didn't really give a shit to get it right.

so if others have such a casual attitude then why should you bother? is it because it makes the other person happy or it makes you happy?

I don't give meaningless gifts. but if I receive them they either go in the bin or get recycled. no fuss no muss

I think the people who hate regifting have obviously been given some absolute tat. 😂

Just don't regift it to the person who bought it for you, by mistake!

Well, I probably wouldn't do it for someone very close to as I enjoy picking out specific gifts. And I definitely wouldn't regift something that I didn't want because it was cheap or tacky.

However, last Christmas someone gave me a (really great) board game I already own so this Christmas I am regifting it to my work secret santa. I know he'd like it and it's the type of thing I would have purchased for him anyway.

I have done, yes, but I don't get many presents any more as I've stopped giving presents to adults in most cases. I get fairly generic smellies from one sister in law but having just the one set is nice.

I did once do it in a more major way. A lifelong friend gave me a beautiful pair of earrings for being her wedding attendant. Except they were for pierced ears. I did have my ears pierced when very young but my ears used to react to all earrings and I stopped wearing any when I was about 18, 28 years before this present. I tried to get them remade with clips but the design was quite complicated and it was going to cost more than I could afford at the time. So I gave them to another friend as I knew they would suit her and she wears them a lot. Tbh I was a bit upset that my old friend hadn't noticed I don't wear earrings and hadn't asked me, and I feel a little pang whenever I see them.

Charity shop, food bank or regift.

I rarely get unwanted gifts that are appropriate for someone i know except for alcohol, that I always regift

Church raffle.

Yup
I regift unwanted presents regularly - or give them away or take to work. If it's something ornamenty or wrong size slippers etc, that I can't, I give to charity shop after first asking my mum if she wants it

Tbh me and my mum often swop presents we've been given by others as she doesn't like perfumes or face masks ... and I don't like bubblebath/ shower gels / ornaments / things for the kitchen that I'll never use ...

I try not to get caught regifting (and only re gift something i reasonably believe other person will like ) - but am pretty open if caught giving it to DCs or taking it to work (unusual chocolates/ hand creams etc)

Flower deliveries are always given to neighbours or friends that will come collect them from my porch (hayfever)
It's hard to find a reason to regift those at times is needed!

I give it to the charity shop.

Yes.
Or donate as raffle or tombola prizes.
Or local social action centre.
Or charity shop.