How many more things are going to go wrong this week?!

[Jourdain11]

This week has just gone to shit and I can't believe it's only Wednesday! 😞

Yesterday got off to a terrible start because school-refusing 9 year old DD1 would not go to school. By 8am we'd had screaming, tears, trying to hit her head against the walls, and younger two DC agitating because they were missing breakfast club. Managed to get them there in time for school (DH took them on his way to his school for one of their many insets) but it took another hour and a half to persuade DD1 into leaving the house. She was totally traumatised and I felt like the most evil mother of all time making her go there.

So, I get to work... very late... and my line manager was understandably displeased (although I had obviously let her know). I got a half hour harangue and I just... couldn't even summon up the energy to defend myself or go into any detail. That set the tone for the day. Why have you done this like this? Why have you done that like that? If you needed those details why didn't you ask me? You may say you did, but I don't remember it. What are you doing now? Why are you doing x instead of y first? Well, I need you explain. Etc.

It got to the end of the day, and I really snapped. I got up and said that I couldn't sit and pretend I was okay with it, because I wasn't. And that I would go and finish my day's work elsewhere.

So, now I'm obviously in the shit because of 'walking out' (which I'm sure will be termed 'storming out') and probably going to be taken through disciplinary measures or whatever.

I'm just so over this week, have definitely been unreasonable, am still being unreasonable but... arghhh! I cannot take any more of it! And I am not even sure what 'it' is, just that I can't take any more!

(Sorry for the massive moan)

Bless you. Sounds rough. Do you have supportive people you can chat too?
Get signed off from work for a week, have a break.

hi OP, i'm sorry. my eldest is starting to refuse school too and it's so hard.
Is your DD disabled/ ND? if so there's a concept of associative disability discrimination and your employer should behave better and take her disability into account (obviously they shouldn't be a dick anyway but if you make the point that they're punishing you for DD's disability it might help get the message across).

My DS used to refuse to go to school until 1 day
i picked him (literally carried a child the same height as me and built like a brick shithouse) and his too little sisters into school and told him whatever problems he's having in school I WILL sort them here and now because he is far too clever to fall out of love with education! The head teacher was both scared and amazed now he loves school again.

Last week though, I spray the inside of the control panel of my cooker (while rage cleaning) without turning it off (I'm an electrician 🤦‍♀️) just before cooking Sunday dinner. I paid £20 extra for next day delivery hoping Wednesday latest it turned up today!

School refusal can seriously damage families' lives. It's bloody ridiculous that there's such a lack of understanding around it.

YANBU. School refusal is so bloody hard OP. DD1 is 4 and has been refusing since starting full days halfway through nursery. We get 2, rarely 3, days a week where she goes okay and the rest of the time it’s complete meltdowns. And no one really ‘gets it’ because they think you can just make your child go, which is easier said than done when it’s not just a tantrum. And even when I get her in there’s a 50/50 chance the school will phone and say she’s too distressed and needs collecting by midday. Plus there’s the guilt of knowing it’s making her so anxious. I’m a SAHM at the moment and find it tough, I don’t know how you juggle it alongside working.

Do you have a children’s centre local? Our schools parent support advisor referred us to our local one to see what support they can offer outside of school to work on DDs anxiety around school.

You have my sympathy - sounds like you need a new job. I couldn't imagine having such an arse for a manager. What is wrong with them?

I haven't gotten to the school stage yet but I struggle to get to nursery on time with my two little 'uns. All I need to do is plonk them in a pram.

YANBU
My dd was fine once at school but getting her there was a fine art. As an only child, she didn’t see siblings getting ready and I didn’t mention school until less than 10 mins beforehand when I whirlwinded here into her clothes to aim to be out of the door before she had time to think about what was happening. Hair was a big trigger and led to lots of screaming and crying as she got older and was the catalyst for making her late. Perfection even at 13 is still the only way.

Dd went in better the day I took her to do a sport club at the start of school but that was very quiet (and at times 121 so she had a lot of attention from the instructor, which is what she liked). However, she only wanted to do the club one morning a week.

Maybe the transition is the thing, which your dd is struggling with? Are there any teachers on hand to take your dd to a quiet area first to read or something then send her to the club when she’s ready? Could be worth a try.

The quiet area thing is a good idea - I will speak to the school about that. I'll also look into children's centres in our area (we're NW London).

Happily, I woke up with a cold, and we're not supposed to come in with "symptomatic illness" ATM, so I have an excuse to work from home for the day 😀

Totally feel you about the getting a call halfway through the day. We seem to get a call most days to say that DD is not feeling well, stomach aches, wants to go home. She has a gastrointestinal motility disorder which does cause lots of tummy issues, so it's really hard to call when she actually needs to come home and especially when one isn't there to see her!

BTW, I actually like my job and I suspect my line manager has shit going on which is making her grumpy... I'm just losing patience a bit, unfortunately!