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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

..to struggle to comprehend huge salaries?

999 replies

missbunnyrabbit · 02/11/2021 23:42

I was reading the thread about how much people earn having been to grammar/private schools and I just cannot get my head around how much lots of people earn. My head just cannot imagine such huge salaries. People earning over 100k, what on earth do they even do with that money? Do they buy everything gold-plated? That's a joke BUT I have no idea what anyone does with that sort of money or what it could be needed for. This isn't a bashing thread or anything like that. I'm just a bit stunned.

Does anyone else's brain struggle to imagine such huge amounts of money?

OP posts:
balonsz · 03/11/2021 17:37

having savings is privileged though as plenty of people don't have them as they have said on this thread.

TiddleTaddleTat · 03/11/2021 17:39

Fwiw we earn combined salary of £37k and I feel very fortunate. DH is looking at improving his earning prospects (I earn most of that figure on a Pt wage) but with low mortgage costs, one child and careful budgeting it feels comfortable to me.
I can't comprehend £100k salaries but imagine they come with bucketloads of work related stress and additional costs to maintain the job / lifestyle etc. We just aren't bothered with that stuff and aren't materialistic at all.
However what is often forgotten by those with high salaries is that they are not proportional to the jobs value to society / training requirements / stress levels etc. Loads of low paid jobs meet those criteria. The world just isn't fair.

WombatChocolate · 03/11/2021 17:40

It’s all relative isn’t it.

Most of us will have people who are better off than us and people who are worse off.

Some people will look at us and our spending and think we have so much. Others would think it’s not much. It’s all relative.

Yes, the rich can lack empathy and understanding or the less well off. They can assume it is entirely normal to spend £3k per month on a mortgage or £50k on the school fees of 2 kids. Once they’ve committed to those spends, though, like all spends, they are committed at least for a period.

I am not a millionaire and Indont earn mega bucks. I can see though, how very easily someone earning large sums, moves up the property ladder and borrows more each time and therefore spends £3k on their mortgage. It’s a lot of money and more than many have for the month by far, but at the end of the day it has provided them with accommodation, in the same way £450 per month will cover accommodation in lots of areas of the country. Those people still need to pay bills and food and other stuff. They just spend more on all of it.

You’d think those people with high incomes must have loads left over and loads in savings. Some do. Lots don’t though. They are in a lifestyle which has crept up on them and feels inescapable now. All their money goes on mortgages, childcare, food, leisure. Some don’t even have particularly good holidays or lesiure because their money is going in vast sums on what might be considered the basics - accommodation and food.

I’m. It suggesting sympathy for the well off for find their cash stretched. But I’d think people might be able to imagine a bit more how this could come about and that although it might be different as a lifestyle to many, in lots of ways it’s not different at all. Most of these well paid families are those struggling month to month to pay their accommodation bill, get to work and cover childcare and keep it all together. There really isn’t something mythically different about them or their lives that makes them totally different. It’s all much of the same, just done on a more expensive scale.

So whilst I don’t think the affluent middle classes need sympathy for the expensive lifestyles they’ve got themselves into, suggesting it’s impossible to imagine or that anyone with a higher income can have money struggles is also a lack of empathy and understanding….and in some cases a real desire to make a barrier or gap between people and drive a wedge and to never look for any common ground, but to have a determination to find differences.

You can be determined to decide all middle earners must be wasting money or having an easy life….in the same way you can decide all low earners must be dossing about…….or you can be interested to understand how other people live and to see there are many similarities in the human condition and commonalities, as well as some undeniable differences.

Tevion28 · 03/11/2021 17:42

ArchibaldsDaddy
Right okay my job comes with a load of responsibility as well and I certainly don't sit around stress free.

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 03/11/2021 17:43

@WombatChocolate has hit the nail on the head

Tabitha005 · 03/11/2021 17:43

Husband and I bring in over £100k per year (his salary dwarfs mine, tho!) and we're spending a LOT on paying into our pensions. Having done nothing in previous years on this score, we've resigned ourselves to having to do this in order not to be living below the poverty line come retirement.

However, it took almost 30 years to command his current salary - and he's not board level, so he's managed it by regularly changing jobs (in his line of work this isn't seen as a bad thing), mixing in some freelance consultancy here and there and specialising in one particular area of his industry where his skills and experience are highly valued.

As far as moving up through the ranks is concerned, if you think about it as a scale from entry-level, assistant, executive/officer, manager, 'head of x' - he's currently at 'head of x' level. He works in a corporate commercial setting and his next move will be up to board level where he'll (hopefully) be able to round off his career with an early retirement at around 57/58 years old - assuming the pensions are where we want them to be.

We have no kids, a cheap mortgage and one car.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 03/11/2021 17:53

saraclara

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream
I've read most of the thread, and the thing I'm most shocked by is that out of ALL the posters who admit to earning huge salaries, NOT ONE mentions using any of it to help those less fortunate than themselves.
No wonder society is fucked and the rich just keep getting richer 
Several have, actually. You can't have read carefully. One of them clearly extremely generous, explains that it's because she grew up in very different circumstances and wants to help others reach their potential

Yes, I admit, maybe I wasn't reading carefully enough and was allowing my previous experience of higher earners to cloud my view. I apologise to any higher earners I have unfairly lumped in.
I however stand by my view that wealth is distributed extremely unfairly in this country, and in the world in general.

MrsKeats · 03/11/2021 17:53

We have 148k between us and we are in the north.
However said that higher earners don't help others less fortunate are making a huge generalisation based on what exactly?
We do loads-both in terms of money and effort so please stop with the snippy comments.

duffeldaisy · 03/11/2021 17:54

"You do realise that the government takes 40% of everything you earn over £50k in income tax, and that a gross salary of £100k equates to take-home pay of around £5500 per month, don’t you?

That’s a decent salary, particularly if your other half also works and you don’t live in London, but it’s by no means rich."

You're right that it's not astronomical in terms of cost of living, but really it does sound a gigantic amount to someone earning below average earnings (which is 50% of the population).

I've never earned over £20k pa in my life and I know I'm not alone because my colleagues were obviously the same. I am well-educated, but there have been circumstances that stopped me from going for higher-paid work, and I have worked in jobs that have been rewarding in other ways.

But yes, life has been a huge struggle at times, and YANBU OP. The disparity between incomes in this country is massive. I think, though, judging by the votes on these kinds of posts. that perhaps there are more people on Mumsnet in higher wage brackets (who probably have more time to go on these kinds of posts than lower earners), so it's not representative.

TouchMyToe · 03/11/2021 17:59

In London that money can go with the wind. One sneeze and it's gone..private healthcare, mortgage, entertainment,holidays plus saving for a pension

Gwenhwyfar · 03/11/2021 18:00

" looked it up and it was 2400 quid, I googled it and found a similar one 'in the style of' for just under 200. I could only dream of affording the expensive version but if I had that much in my bank account right now I would have bought it. And so would most other people."

I don't know if 'most' people would have done. I like to think that even if I was rich, I wouldn't spend silly money on a dress.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/11/2021 18:05

@ThatsNotMyReindeer

02:31ShrikeAttack

@missbunnyrabbit, if this is a genuine thread and question, our family income is about 30k a month after tax and it gives you options. It makes your life a bit easier.

We're not super-rich

Please tell me that's a typo 🤣

I read it as 30k a year first time.
saraclara · 03/11/2021 18:10

@TouchMyToe

In London that money can go with the wind. One sneeze and it's gone..private healthcare, mortgage, entertainment,holidays plus saving for a pension
What's private health care got to do with living in London? It's not compulsory. You have GPs and NHS hospitals in London, just like the rest of us.
Arbitan · 03/11/2021 18:15

I earn a very good salary but it’s not without its drawbacks. It’s massively stressful, long hours, demanding, weekends and evenings for no extra pay, literally the first thing I think about on a morning and the last thing I think about at night. Even when I was on honeymoon I had my work mobile with me to make sure everything was ticking over. However, I knew that when I went into it and I’m happy to make the sacrifices to earn more. It’s also intellectually stimulating, interesting and enjoyable work; if it wasn’t I doubt I’d continue.

hemhem · 03/11/2021 18:15

I am fortunate to be in a fairly high earning household but as we're self employed it comes with a big risk. If the work dries up as it did last year there's no safety net so we put any spare cash into savings to protect ourselves. We also give as much as we can to charities every month. We know we're very lucky and like to help others.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/11/2021 18:16

@dreamingofsun

OHpatti - I dont think people on here are claiming NMW earners are slackers. But from what i see, they tend to work in jobs that you can leave and go home when your paid hours are up; that you dont worry about when you get home; that you dont commute to get to for hours and hours; that you havent had to study for over many years. That dont have high levels of responsibility because someone else has to take those nasty decisions
I disagree with the part about not worrying about it when you get home. If you're bottom of the pile, bossed around by everyone, the fear of making mistakes or just someone treating you badly at work causes quite a few sleepless nights as do money worries.
MasterBeth · 03/11/2021 18:20

@XelaM

I'm one of those people on over 100K, but I'm a single mum with no support from ex-husband and my daughter is at private school and we own a pony. So I'm doing my shopping at Aldi and always worry about how I'm going to pay the next school and livery yard fees Blush
This kind of stuff always makes me laugh...

"I have an enormous mortgage for my huge house and unbelievable diesel bills for my massive yacht, so I don't really have any money after that..."

But you bought a huge house and a massive yacht!

duffeldaisy · 03/11/2021 18:21

@Gwenhwyfar
"I disagree with the part about not worrying about it when you get home. If you're bottom of the pile, bossed around by everyone, the fear of making mistakes or just someone treating you badly at work causes quite a few sleepless nights as do money worries."

Exactly this!
It's one thing worrying about something within your job. It's another worrying about whether you'll have enough to keep a roof over your head next month (with no savings to fall back on). And, having briefly been on a zero-hours-contract, the sheer scope for being bullied, intimidated and generally abused because "we haven't decided who to allot next weeks' hours to" is something you really do take home with you and worry about every night.

A low paid job, if you have security, can be nice. Most people who do them do not have that security and are literally facing foodbanks or even homelessness if something goes wrong. That's what's not so easy to understand if you've not been on that kind of edge.

yourestandingonmyneck · 03/11/2021 18:23

@NadiaVulvokov

An ex of mine earns £250k. He has worked hard, long hours for about 25 years to get to that point. He works 60-70 hours a week as standard. He is a partner in a professional services firm. He brings in enough business to his firm to ensure at least 25 people are in full time work.

Anyway, he pays about half his salary in tax.

He supports another ex-partner (not me) fully as she can’t work due to chronic illness. That is about £2.5k a month as she has medical costs too, things the NHS don’t really cover like a weekly physical therapist, plus he bought her a flat outright which took a decent chunk of his equity so his mortgage is a bit higher than it would be otherwise.

Otherwise he pays his mortgage and household bills, probably another couple of grand a month. He doesn’t live in a flashy house, he lives in a three bed semi on an estate in a rural village, close to a couple of important clients. The house is worth less than his annual salary. I doubt his neighbours have any idea how much he earns. He will probably move to a slightly more expensive place in the next couple of years, as he will need to relocate to a city for work reasons. He’ll get a two bed flat in a nice neighbourhood but nothing grand. As the city in question is a lot more expensive that the village, it’ll probably be around £300-350k.

He drives a Volvo 4x4 which he first has in lease and then bought after a few years. He needs a 4x4 as his largest client is in a remote area up a dirt track. He thinks he will switch to an electric car in a few years once the Volvo is past it’s best.

He took a 70% salary cut for 12 months at the start of the pandemic to help minimise the lay offs in his firm. He is proud they managed to keep it to a few voluntary redundancies and they have paid other staff who took salary decreases at the time back (but not partners). His firm is paying furlough money back. He’ll take a year or two to repair his savings etc after that.

At that he lives a pretty simple life. He has just about every streaming service going since the pandemic started and shares the passwords with me even though we broke up a while back. He likes craft beer, he’ll have a couple once or twice a fortnight. He buys free range/organic food as much as he can for animal welfare/environmental reasons. He shops pretty frugally except he has a steak every weekend. So he spends maybe £40-50 a week on food/beer etc. He’ll get a takeout pizza or fish and chips once a month. He’d go to a football match two or three times a year pre-pandemic. Same for nights out with friends. His last house he did have a gardner to cut the grass once a fortnight or so and to do a tidy up at the end of summer. But his new place has a simpler garden so he takes care of that himself now.

Clothes wise he buys good quality but very rarely designer. When he needed suits he’d always buy in sales. He’d buy himself a couple of pairs of jeans at about £100 a pair each year and a few checked shirts/sweatshirts/t-shirts. Usually he’d go shopping on holiday so he could take his time and enjoy it. I doubt he spends as much as £1k a year on clothes.

He has a fairly healthy pension and a rising equity stake in his firm. He helps family and friends with money when they need it. He’s told me if I ever need anything he’s never see a friend go without.

For example, I might need to see a specialist in another country for a health condition in the next couple of years and he’s said not to worry about that. I also might need to relocate in the next couple of years and he’s said if I can’t find a decent place in my budget, his priority would be for me to live in a safe neighbourhood where I felt comfortable and he’d cover any shortfall to make that happen.

Whilst we were together my place had a very worn bathroom and he saved up money over a few months so I could get a new bathroom.

He does have private healthcare through work and pays a monthly premium for it- his firm insist on it and that’s he gets annual health checks tied to a life insurance policy they have in him (which pays the firm in the event of something happening to him, he has his own life insurance policies for his former partner his still fully supports, his mum and also for me). I’m still down as his partner on the health insurance so I get private health cover at a very reduced rate and he covers that.

His one place he does sometimes splurge a bit is travel. He likes a nice holiday. He will go to a European capital for a couple of weeks, stay somewhere nice but not flash, eat out a lot, sit in cafes and bars drinking coffees or having a cocktail, tip well, do some clothes shopping, maybe try or see a football match at the local stadium. But he’ll also spend time in parks and just walking round, going to museums and galleries, or hanging out in the apartment watching local tv. He hasn’t done that for the last couple of years and probably won’t travel again for at least another year or two, so at the moment he lets himself have all the streaming services going as compensation.

When we were going out I think I paid for a meal for us once, as a birthday treat. He’d say ‘get the tip’ or ‘you buy the first round” for drinks before or after. I never paid a cent towards a holiday and he’d take out spending money either in cash or prepaid cards and split it 50/50 between us. He’d always spend less than me and end up using his leftover money on the last day to buy me a gift, like a belt or a pair of sandals.

In essence he saves a lot of his money and where he does spend is usually about taking care of the people in his life he loves.

He basically gets no time to himself though. On holiday he would switch his phone off in the afternoons but would work for at a least two or three hours in the morning. He’d switch his phone back on late afternoon/early evening and handle urgent calls or important emails for an hour or hour and a half. So basically on holiday we’d do our own thing In the morning, then have lunch and go out in the afternoon, go back early evening, he’d do work, I’d relax, watch tv, and then either cook or get ready to go out for the evening. Then we’d go out for drinks or dinner.

I don’t think he’s had a day he didn’t take a call or respond to an email for over a decade. One sick day in twenty five years for norovirus and he views that as a bit of a blot,

Your ex sounds lovely.
MasterBeth · 03/11/2021 18:23

@TouchMyToe

In London that money can go with the wind. One sneeze and it's gone..private healthcare, mortgage, entertainment,holidays plus saving for a pension
Saving money does not mean it has "gone"! You still have the money! It's in your pension.

Buying a house does not mean it has "gone". You bought a house! The house is worth money - probably much more than you paid for it!

Tobchette · 03/11/2021 18:24

Many posters discussing fairness/hard work, unequal distribution across society, contribution to society.
Yes there are so many people working long hours on minimum wage doing jobs that keep society running.
Nowadays loads of people with degrees not even earning enough to pay off student debt.
Someone earning 20k looks at the person on 100k and thinks wtf I work just as hard and long as you, how is this fair?

Wages aren't decided that way though. It's more about how rare are your skills? Combined with being in the right place at the right time. You've got a super in demand skill and are willing to get up and go to where the big money is. Knowing the right person also helps - that's the privilege element.

The employer offering the salary isn't thinking "is this fair" or "is this good for society". They are thinking, shit I really need this person for my company to make money so I'm going to offer whatever salary it takes. They don't care how the employee spends that money - whether it's private school for their kids, a massive mortgage, or designer handbags.

Everyone on here already knows this though. It's easy to look at the person earning big and think how is this fair? Well they just had the right numbers in the lottery of life. Just like they might lose on the cancer or dementia lottery etc.

Still not fair though right? Don't point the finger at the high earner. Point it at the government that don't put more pressure on companies to pay better wages. Who don't even pay their own staff like teachers and nurses a realistic wage. Let everyone spend their money how they like but if you want people who "contribute" to society to have money to spend in the first place then the person earning 100k can't do much about that. You've got to start pointing the finger at those earning much, much more.

yourestandingonmyneck · 03/11/2021 18:24

@NadiaVulvokov

Oh and his cat eats pretty well and has a lot of toys and fluffy beds. He bought him a big cat tree a wee while back and asked me to help him choose it.

He took in a stray at the beginning of the first lockdown. It gets a packet of sliced roast chicken from the supermarket once a week and high quality food generally.

@NadiaVulvokov Further to my previous post, your ex sounds bloody adorable Grin
CraftyGin · 03/11/2021 18:33

We are on that kind of income and have a very modest lifestyle.

Kids are older now, but all five were privately educated - that meant we had next to nothing left for fancy holidays. We hardly buy anything (very COP friendly).

We do give a boat load to our church.

KeflavikAirport · 03/11/2021 18:35

As a high earner, I would actually like to see some kind of legislation a) to index MP salaries to the average wage and b) businesses to limit boardroom pay to a multiple of the lowest paid workers' pay, say maybe four or five times.

ChangeMustCome · 03/11/2021 18:56

As a single mum on 35k (from 2 jobs, 1 of which is full time) I feel so blessed to live in a country where people all pay into the system so everyone can have a decent life. I chose, after my degree, to work in a field where I help individuals who have been dealt a crap hand in life and the rewards are so much greater than money.
You people moaning about tax and gloating about hard you work have no fuckin idea. Wishing you paid less tax is despicable, Tory thinking.
I'm so bloody grateful to have children who also know they are lucky and are focussed on making the world better, not making more cash.