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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

..to struggle to comprehend huge salaries?

999 replies

missbunnyrabbit · 02/11/2021 23:42

I was reading the thread about how much people earn having been to grammar/private schools and I just cannot get my head around how much lots of people earn. My head just cannot imagine such huge salaries. People earning over 100k, what on earth do they even do with that money? Do they buy everything gold-plated? That's a joke BUT I have no idea what anyone does with that sort of money or what it could be needed for. This isn't a bashing thread or anything like that. I'm just a bit stunned.

Does anyone else's brain struggle to imagine such huge amounts of money?

OP posts:
JessieLongleg · 03/11/2021 02:02

Buy a home, can't do that on 20-40k. Send kids to private schools, invest in children's hobbies, spoil their pets, buy into fad diets, expensive face creams, never struggle to find leggings to wear without holes, holidays, don't dye their own hair, save decent money and pay for healthcare. NHS is struggling and many that can afford it pay private,I'm on under 25k and have to pay for my own chiropractor etc my GP really don't care of don't have the resources to care. I know a few that work long hours for that.

dashoflime · 03/11/2021 02:05

Where's "here"?
I've lived in London. I've paid £700 for a box room. If I'd have stayed, we'd be paying over the odds for rent, sure.
But we'd be managing, the same as many working class people in London have to manage.
If you've got more money than we did....then you have options.
You can choose to pay more to stay where you are. Or you can downsize and live somewhere else.
A lot of the time when you drill deep, people with money simply don't want to live in working class areas. So they pay extra not to have to.
Same with schools. Same with a lot of things.
That's fine. But it's exercising a choice. It's disingenuous to pretend it's not.

TheEvilPea · 03/11/2021 02:09

@dashoflime

Where's "here"? I've lived in London. I've paid £700 for a box room. If I'd have stayed, we'd be paying over the odds for rent, sure. But we'd be managing, the same as many working class people in London have to manage. If you've got more money than we did....then you have options. You can choose to pay more to stay where you are. Or you can downsize and live somewhere else. A lot of the time when you drill deep, people with money simply don't want to live in working class areas. So they pay extra not to have to. Same with schools. Same with a lot of things. That's fine. But it's exercising a choice. It's disingenuous to pretend it's not.
I am not going to tell you where I live, but no, it isn't London.
TheEvilPea · 03/11/2021 02:10

And by the way I am working class. I left home as a 17 year old with nothing. I just worked and studied a lot before I had my children. Please stop with the classist bullshit.

ShrikeAttack · 03/11/2021 02:13

@TheEvilPea

We earn multiples of that. I'm not someone that is confused by high earnings. I AM confused by high-earning individuals that find life too expensive and claim certain earing capacities are only available in certain geographical areas and in professions in those areas.

THAT confuses me.

It's very limited thinking for such intelligent people.

Aorh · 03/11/2021 02:24

Truly incomprehensible for one person to earn that much in my eyes.

But surely single income household and private school turns it from incomprehensible to spendable

£100k is something like £65k net.

Approximately £15k per child school fees, let’s assume 2 kids = £30k

Mortgage, let’s assume £1k a month (higher than average but not ridiculous)= £12k

You’re going to be expected to work long hours for that much money, so need a car. Let’s assume total car plus running = £3k

In fact, you’ll probably need 2 to get the kids to private school = £3k

Utilitirs + council tax = £2k

Food, let’s say £400 a month = nearly £5k

And let’s say you have an annual holiday. Apparently average is £5k which has shocked me

So there’s about £5k for spending, savings etc, £400 per month. Which sounds a lot, but if you need to be in a more expensive area go get to work, that could easily get wiped out.

Wish I had that problem 😂

dashoflime · 03/11/2021 02:28

"And by the way I am working class. I left home as a 17 year old with nothing. I just worked and studied a lot before I had my children. Please stop with the classist bullshit"

I'm not trying to be classist, but I genuinely don't understand. You've obviously done well for yourself. You have options.
But you're pretending that you're somehow forced into high fixed costs.
Now, I don't know. It may be that you're income is more modest than I'm imagining and you're genuinely in a bit of a financial pickle (these threads would be so much easier if people felt able to state their salary so we all knew what we're talking about).
But it might also be that you're exercising choices that feel "necessary" for you but are out of reach to many others.

If you want to do the whole "four Yorkshire men" thing. I left home at 16 and also studied and worked before having kids.
I have a modest lower middle class income now. I have choices and I'm up front about them.
For example: I chose to buy an ex council place on an estate. I know people who claim they couldn't live where I live because "the people have completely different values".
That's a choice they made. I chose to live here and have some extra cash.
I'm much, much better off than my neighbours who were housed here with no choice and I would never pretend otherwise.

ShrikeAttack · 03/11/2021 02:31

@missbunnyrabbit, if this is a genuine thread and question, our family income is about 30k a month after tax and it gives you options. It makes your life a bit easier.

We're not super-rich, our children go to state school, but that's a choice. They have tutors and they pursue their hobbies and interests. One of my parents went to a well-known public school, as have their cousins, I don't want that for them. But that is a choice. I don't want my children to feel entitled.

I want them to know they are privileged.

Ajl46 · 03/11/2021 02:42

Pensions contributions are v expensive if you want to retire before state pension age (68 for me, and I want to have been retired for 10 years by then!).

Ajl46 · 03/11/2021 02:44

@missbunnyrabbit

I was reading the thread about how much people earn having been to grammar/private schools and I just cannot get my head around how much lots of people earn. My head just cannot imagine such huge salaries. People earning over 100k, what on earth do they even do with that money? Do they buy everything gold-plated? That's a joke BUT I have no idea what anyone does with that sort of money or what it could be needed for. This isn't a bashing thread or anything like that. I'm just a bit stunned.

Does anyone else's brain struggle to imagine such huge amounts of money?

Obviously housing costs vary massively depending on location. I moved out if central London 7 years ago - my rent there was £2,300 pcm for a small flat.
Ajl46 · 03/11/2021 02:47

@missbunnyrabbit

I was reading the thread about how much people earn having been to grammar/private schools and I just cannot get my head around how much lots of people earn. My head just cannot imagine such huge salaries. People earning over 100k, what on earth do they even do with that money? Do they buy everything gold-plated? That's a joke BUT I have no idea what anyone does with that sort of money or what it could be needed for. This isn't a bashing thread or anything like that. I'm just a bit stunned.

Does anyone else's brain struggle to imagine such huge amounts of money?

OP, when you were looking at career options eg at school / college, how much were you expecting to earn? Not suggesting money is the only factor involved in choosing a career path by any stretch, but I guess i'm surprised that the existence of jobs with higher salaries wasn't even a consideration.
ThatsNotMyReindeer · 03/11/2021 02:53

@logsonlogsoff

Our mortgage, bills and Essential-ish outgoings are £4.5k a month.
On the above estimate of a take home pay of 5500 a month (I know that might not be what you get personally) that's still 1000 spare cash a month. Thats only a little less than some people's entire take home pay, out if which they have to pay rent (unlike a mortgage which has some kind of return eventually).

Blows my mind! I feel well off having just reached an annual salary of £25k

SeaisBlue · 03/11/2021 03:01

Everything is scaled up, and most people earning this salary will live in London or environs where cost of living is so much higher, mortgage over 2k / month plus bills, plus help at home, plus school fees, actually doesn’t leave much left in the bank at the end of it! We do not have luxury holidays or a nice car but do spend on other things like Deliveroo etc without worrying. Absolutely you cut your cloth accordingly.

ThatsNotMyReindeer · 03/11/2021 03:09

02:31ShrikeAttack

@missbunnyrabbit, if this is a genuine thread and question, our family income is about 30k a month after tax and it gives you options. It makes your life a bit easier.

We're not super-rich

Please tell me that's a typo 🤣

greengrassapreciationsociety · 03/11/2021 03:35

No you end up having a large mortgage-ours is 3k a month, you put a lot into pensions, you don't have to worry if you have the money for something that may be a splurge but we live in a similar way now on high joint income as how we lived when we had modest incomes. We save the extra money so that we can retire when we choose in our 50s and once you start saving money and investing it, that money starts paying for things like your mortgage so you have to think of money being like employees that work for you, your money has to earn its keep if you choose to delay gratification and NOT spend it. It is a mindset thing. We don't expect to spend all our money, we save and we will live off it when we no longer can or wish to work.

greengrassapreciationsociety · 03/11/2021 03:38

I don't see us as mega earners but I am aware at 185k a year between us we are inevitably in the top 5% of earners I would estimate but maybe people who earn far more than that splash the cash more. We certainly don't and live with an eye on future retirement when we choose. Friends with higher income tend to do private school automatically which is 25-35k a year per child and a couple of nice holidays is easily 10-15k a year, it is not that hard to spend those big salaries if you live in a high cost of living city where housing costs are high.

ShrikeAttack · 03/11/2021 03:51

@ThatsNotMyReindeer. No. No typo.

DorsVenabili · 03/11/2021 03:56

You end up having a lot of expense- not necessarily fixed but because you throw money at things rather than time - so cleaners/babysitters/taxis /meals out/holidays you don't have to plan - as well as expenses caused by your job- having to live in certain areas (if you work in the City)- so housing costs/commuting costs/work clothes etc - the problem is that your living costs creep up with the salary.
I did save/put money in pensions-partly to protect my family from me losing a job - although i think i could happily live on a lot less (move to a different area- take kids out of schools etc) the transition would be painful just because any forced change is

Newnews · 03/11/2021 04:10

We have just reached peak mumsnet , where someone actually says “we earn 30k a month but we’re not rich”
Jesus wept

Goatinthegarden · 03/11/2021 04:11

I earn 41k and DH earns £70k but in the last 7 years has had regular bonus of approx an extra £100k (before tax) each year.

Honestly, we feel so bloody privileged. We both went to state schools, but we come from white, educated backgrounds with stable childhoods. As a teacher, I recognise that privilege has put us on the front foot in life.

We have no kids. We live in a ‘naice’ but not ostentatious 3 bedroom house in a desirable part of town and have nearly paid off the mortgage. We’ve done a lot of work to the house, including adding a huge extension getting exactly the kitchen, flooring etc. as we wanted and paid it all outright. We both drive and have one, 5 year old, hatchback car that we own outright. We cycle or walk most places. We never get taxis.

We don’t want or desire flashy things like cars or handbags or long haul holidays. We have 3-4 year old smartphones. I like to buy good quality clothes that will last a long time and try not to buy into fast fashion or buy more than I need. We are able make choices about buying locally, ethically or sustainably. We do buy exactly what we fancy in the weekly food shop and eat out a few times a week. When we do go on holiday (haven’t been since pre-Covid) we are most comfortable in boutique (naice but not 5star) style accommodation in Europe and are able to do everything we desire (museums, activities, meals, drinks) without stressing about cost. I get hair and nails etc. done whenever I like.

We’re both big on being outdoors and active and are lucky that we can afford whatever we like to support that - we try to be mindful of not buying things we don’t need, but if a pair of hiking boots needs replacing, we are able to buy good quality replacements without worrying.

Money gives us security and options. We have no debt and save a substantial amount. It allows us to make the most of our free time and we have a very comfortable lifestyle. We know we are incredibly fortunate at the moment and we try not to squander it.

Idessa · 03/11/2021 04:19

@XelaM

I'm one of those people on over 100K, but I'm a single mum with no support from ex-husband and my daughter is at private school and we own a pony. So I'm doing my shopping at Aldi and always worry about how I'm going to pay the next school and livery yard fees Blush
This is brilliant 🤣 satire?
ShrikeAttack · 03/11/2021 04:22

@Newnews, I said we're not 'super' rich.

We're ok. Very affluent.

We're not super-rich though.

Idessa · 03/11/2021 04:22

[quote ShrikeAttack]@missbunnyrabbit, if this is a genuine thread and question, our family income is about 30k a month after tax and it gives you options. It makes your life a bit easier.

We're not super-rich, our children go to state school, but that's a choice. They have tutors and they pursue their hobbies and interests. One of my parents went to a well-known public school, as have their cousins, I don't want that for them. But that is a choice. I don't want my children to feel entitled.

I want them to know they are privileged.[/quote]
HmmHmmHmm

Dobbyafreeelf · 03/11/2021 04:23

@ShrikeAttack ffs!!! Yes that is rich!!! I don't bloody earn that in 2 years!!! Ffs!!! Nobody deserves that sort of obscene amount of money!

NadiaVulvokov · 03/11/2021 04:24

An ex of mine earns £250k. He has worked hard, long hours for about 25 years to get to that point. He works 60-70 hours a week as standard. He is a partner in a professional services firm. He brings in enough business to his firm to ensure at least 25 people are in full time work.

Anyway, he pays about half his salary in tax.

He supports another ex-partner (not me) fully as she can’t work due to chronic illness. That is about £2.5k a month as she has medical costs too, things the NHS don’t really cover like a weekly physical therapist, plus he bought her a flat outright which took a decent chunk of his equity so his mortgage is a bit higher than it would be otherwise.

Otherwise he pays his mortgage and household bills, probably another couple of grand a month. He doesn’t live in a flashy house, he lives in a three bed semi on an estate in a rural village, close to a couple of important clients. The house is worth less than his annual salary. I doubt his neighbours have any idea how much he earns. He will probably move to a slightly more expensive place in the next couple of years, as he will need to relocate to a city for work reasons. He’ll get a two bed flat in a nice neighbourhood but nothing grand. As the city in question is a lot more expensive that the village, it’ll probably be around £300-350k.

He drives a Volvo 4x4 which he first has in lease and then bought after a few years. He needs a 4x4 as his largest client is in a remote area up a dirt track. He thinks he will switch to an electric car in a few years once the Volvo is past it’s best.

He took a 70% salary cut for 12 months at the start of the pandemic to help minimise the lay offs in his firm. He is proud they managed to keep it to a few voluntary redundancies and they have paid other staff who took salary decreases at the time back (but not partners). His firm is paying furlough money back. He’ll take a year or two to repair his savings etc after that.

At that he lives a pretty simple life. He has just about every streaming service going since the pandemic started and shares the passwords with me even though we broke up a while back. He likes craft beer, he’ll have a couple once or twice a fortnight. He buys free range/organic food as much as he can for animal welfare/environmental reasons. He shops pretty frugally except he has a steak every weekend. So he spends maybe £40-50 a week on food/beer etc. He’ll get a takeout pizza or fish and chips once a month. He’d go to a football match two or three times a year pre-pandemic. Same for nights out with friends. His last house he did have a gardner to cut the grass once a fortnight or so and to do a tidy up at the end of summer. But his new place has a simpler garden so he takes care of that himself now.

Clothes wise he buys good quality but very rarely designer. When he needed suits he’d always buy in sales. He’d buy himself a couple of pairs of jeans at about £100 a pair each year and a few checked shirts/sweatshirts/t-shirts. Usually he’d go shopping on holiday so he could take his time and enjoy it. I doubt he spends as much as £1k a year on clothes.

He has a fairly healthy pension and a rising equity stake in his firm. He helps family and friends with money when they need it. He’s told me if I ever need anything he’s never see a friend go without.

For example, I might need to see a specialist in another country for a health condition in the next couple of years and he’s said not to worry about that. I also might need to relocate in the next couple of years and he’s said if I can’t find a decent place in my budget, his priority would be for me to live in a safe neighbourhood where I felt comfortable and he’d cover any shortfall to make that happen.

Whilst we were together my place had a very worn bathroom and he saved up money over a few months so I could get a new bathroom.

He does have private healthcare through work and pays a monthly premium for it- his firm insist on it and that’s he gets annual health checks tied to a life insurance policy they have in him (which pays the firm in the event of something happening to him, he has his own life insurance policies for his former partner his still fully supports, his mum and also for me). I’m still down as his partner on the health insurance so I get private health cover at a very reduced rate and he covers that.

His one place he does sometimes splurge a bit is travel. He likes a nice holiday. He will go to a European capital for a couple of weeks, stay somewhere nice but not flash, eat out a lot, sit in cafes and bars drinking coffees or having a cocktail, tip well, do some clothes shopping, maybe try or see a football match at the local stadium. But he’ll also spend time in parks and just walking round, going to museums and galleries, or hanging out in the apartment watching local tv. He hasn’t done that for the last couple of years and probably won’t travel again for at least another year or two, so at the moment he lets himself have all the streaming services going as compensation.

When we were going out I think I paid for a meal for us once, as a birthday treat. He’d say ‘get the tip’ or ‘you buy the first round” for drinks before or after. I never paid a cent towards a holiday and he’d take out spending money either in cash or prepaid cards and split it 50/50 between us. He’d always spend less than me and end up using his leftover money on the last day to buy me a gift, like a belt or a pair of sandals.

In essence he saves a lot of his money and where he does spend is usually about taking care of the people in his life he loves.

He basically gets no time to himself though. On holiday he would switch his phone off in the afternoons but would work for at a least two or three hours in the morning. He’d switch his phone back on late afternoon/early evening and handle urgent calls or important emails for an hour or hour and a half. So basically on holiday we’d do our own thing In the morning, then have lunch and go out in the afternoon, go back early evening, he’d do work, I’d relax, watch tv, and then either cook or get ready to go out for the evening. Then we’d go out for drinks or dinner.

I don’t think he’s had a day he didn’t take a call or respond to an email for over a decade. One sick day in twenty five years for norovirus and he views that as a bit of a blot,