..to struggle to comprehend huge salaries?

[missbunnyrabbit]

I was reading the thread about how much people earn having been to grammar/private schools and I just cannot get my head around how much lots of people earn. My head just cannot imagine such huge salaries. People earning over 100k, what on earth do they even do with that money? Do they buy everything gold-plated? That's a joke BUT I have no idea what anyone does with that sort of money or what it could be needed for. This isn't a bashing thread or anything like that. I'm just a bit stunned.

Does anyone else's brain struggle to imagine such huge amounts of money?

I live in an affluent area, more through the luck of buying a house when it wasn't as affluent and house prices were much lower rather than earning anything near £100k and I don't have the same lifestyle as many friends and neighbours. From what I can see, people on above average incomes spend more on everything. Housing in more expensive areas, bigger houses than required with the associated higher running costs, high spec kitchens, lots of huge extensions, expensive cars, expensive holidays, lots of activities for the kids that add up to ££s, tutors for the kids, private schooling, more expensive versions of everything from home decor to clothing. Many have cleaners and/or gardeners. They tend to have more expensive versions of everything, upgrade their lifestyle whenever they earn a higher salary and that's where the money goes, it's possible they don't end up with as much disposable income as you would expect. We don't live like that, household income is half that and I realise how lucky we are. We don't have to worry if the boiler breaks or we need a new washing machine. That's the real privilege of not having to live hand to mouth, I didn't grow up with this lifestyle at all and I appreciate it and make sure we always have a buffer for a rainy day.

We have a household income of around 120k with me earning more now than dh. We have a very privileged life which I am very grateful for and we have a lot of control over how we live our lives- it buys time and choice. I only work part-time (ish) and term time only because we can afford to, so I'm around for dc before and after school which is amazing. I do free work carrying out assessments in disadvantaged schools- because I can and I don't need anymore money, plus I want to give something back to the community. I also give to charity regularly.

We are really lucky to be mortgage free young (I'm 37) but this is because we made money on house in SE and relocated up north to be near family. We could've afforded a bigger house but we're very happy with our 3 bed semi. Having a secure home was more important to us than continuing to have a mortgage.

I drive a 5 year old car, dh's is 10 years old. We have a few holidays a year (though haven't been on holiday in 2 years thanks to Covid). We don't need to think about filling the oil tank up, or replacing an appliance if it breaks- a huge privilege. I am very generous with friends and family and regularly pay for lunches, take nieces and nephews to events and pay for other wider family things.

We have 1dc. They go to an amazing school (state) now but previous school was shocking so they had huge gaps. We have been able to pay for weekly tutoring to help them catch up- again a massive privilege. Due to the dire state of the nhs I pay for private medical and dental insurance (I never thought I'd do this).

Like others have said more money doesn't guarantee happiness. I am no more happy now than when I was years ago earning a small bursary, completing a doctorate with a toddler. My dh also earnt less at that time. That was probably my happiest time, even though it was also one of the most stressful.

I also pay £400 a month for 8 sets of school fees for my housekeepers children and neices. That gives them the chance to get out of poverty. We spend a lot on ourselves and a lot in other people and not a huge amount of savings, just a few properties and a savings pot to cover medical bills if we have to live back in the UK. As there is little to no Healthcare, we will ensure at least 250k for Healthcare and if we don't spend it, will leave to charity to educate girls.

My brother is a multi millionaire, he made some very shrewd investments and has had a series of very well jobs.

You would never know. They have a nice house, but in a perfectly normal area, drives a very normal family car, kids went to state school. They live a very minimalist life, shop in M&S/John Lewis. They do go on a big family holiday every year - but it's not mega.

He still works because he wants the kids to see that working is a good thing for them to do. They have no idea, yet, how much they are likely to inherit. HIs wife works, has always worked, and is a high earner.

So no great outlays, no private schools, no staff, no big flash car, or big flash holidays. But they are very very comfortable, no money worries at all and the kids will be secure.

I'm with you op. I was excited recently that my wages reached £1200 a month. I work 36 hours a week but term time only. I'm a single mum of three children and even when I was with my ex between us we only just about reached 32k a year and that was with me working as many 12hr night shifts as I could cope with.

@Fudgeball123

If mumsnet was 'dadsnet' the question would be 'how can I earn a huge salary'? Why are women expected to be non aspirational and have to apologise for / justify what they earn?

Well said!

I've read most of the thread, and the thing I'm most shocked by is that out of ALL the posters who admit to earning huge salaries, NOT ONE mentions using any of it to help those less fortunate than themselves.
No wonder society is fucked and the rich just keep getting richer

Another obvious point is that you are not rich in complete isolation. You still need friends, events, celebrations, play-dates etc. Purely hypothetically, imagine someone earning 200K but they opt to only use 30K of that which is what many posters in the thread are implying is reasonable. They will have a life identical to that of a median salary. How would such a life look like when you're essentially "pretending" to have the same problems that people who actually earn 30K do? The quote above reflects the attitude of many people who clearly despise high-earners and would obviously not want to be friends with them. So how should "fake frugal" rich people live if they know that their friends and family are secretly resenting them for pretending to be poor?

The slow increase of outgoings is almost inevitable as people make subtle adjustments to their life. It's safe to generalise that the majority of people you will spend the most time with will eventually be from a similar socio-economic background. This makes minor things like choosing locations for a drink or topics of everyday conversation quite a bit easier. There are so many small talk topics that are very closely tied to income such as properties, impact of covid, travel, food, schools etc.

On a purely everyday basis, it's human nature to find the group of people who are most similar to you so you can be accepted authentically. If someone you know earned 200K a year but they're at the pub moaning about petrol prices (because they only allow themselves a budget of 1K to live on like an average person) then it would be far more disingenuous than if that person just stayed in their country club talking about stocks with someone else who earned the same.

You pay the fax which is already something.
You want to buy a house and pay the mortgage.
You want to afford your child a great education.

Also, you bloody work hard for the nice money, at least many do. With this amount of money, you don't ask for ridiculous things such as paid overtime, not working during weekends or late in the evening should the need arise.
Essentially, you rarely stop working because you have responsibilities people on lower incomes wouldn't have.

We give a significant amount of earnings (over £100k) to HMRC every year.
Nothing is gold plated here.

@Dobbyafreeelf

God this thread is infuriating and depressing!

I earn less than 20k a year. Full time working doing a bloody important job.
I will never be able to buy a house
I will never be financially secure
I will never have kids as a result
I will never be able to earn much more than I currently do.
I am fucking trapped in a situation that greedy bastards like some posters on this thread.
Nobody deserves a salary of 30k a month.

Going to hide this thread now before it affects my mental health!

Ffs!

This with bells on.

100k Salary is obscene and don’t get me started on 30k a month. How can anyone sleep at night earning that knowing how many families struggle to keep a roof over their head or make sure everyone goes to bed fed.

DH and i had a period of our lives when we earned at the levels you are talking about, OP, and a period afterwards when we had much less by way of income. The good news is that we enjoy life just as much and do the same sort of things.
Good old days - Income of about £130k 20 years ago. It went on 2 lots of school fees, keeping 2 native ponies, holidays at peak times to bland expensive resorts and hotels - too tired to go adventuring. Two top of the range cars - required by my work that I had expensive company car and I had a lot of company car tax to pay. Our house was old and very expensive to maintain and run. To have this life I had to be available for work almost 24/7 and always worked on Saturdays, and often in the evening. With two young children I needed a nanny and a cleaner to keep all the balls in the air. I even paid someone to ride my horse because I did not have enough fre time to exercise her sufficiently.
Now: Children left home, they finished their education in good state schools. We live in a modern new build which is easy to look after and I take a pride in the garden. I still ride but don't have my own horse, I go on riding breaks which is more fun and greater variety.
We have real adventures when we go away, whether it is camping in this country or our long trip to India in 2019 it is so much more rewarding than the old hotel based breaks. I have time to do my own cleaning, decorating and complex creative cooking. I do dressmaking and other crafts. DH works part time and is also a yoga teacher.
I prefer life now, there is a huge price to pay for most of the sorts of jobs that have high incomes.

@EerieSilence

You pay the fax which is already something. You want to buy a house and pay the mortgage. You want to afford your child a great education.

Also, you bloody work hard for the nice money, at least many do. With this amount of money, you don't ask for ridiculous things such as paid overtime, not working during weekends or late in the evening should the need arise.
Essentially, you rarely stop working because you have responsibilities people on lower incomes wouldn't have.

I worked bloody hard in retail, I got no overtime, I worked evenings and weekends and had massive responsibilities and I was on 17k. Don’t start with that bullshit

@jjj321

What i find hard to comprehend are people who get 2 million pound bonuses.

I think that was a reference to my comment about a colleague. We worked in corporate finance and the directors earned an annual bonus based on 10% of any fees they brought in above a threshold of £2 million.

He found a lucrative niche in restructuring when the recession hit and M&A declined, and brought in a lot of business (about £20-25 million fees in that year). I'm sure the concept of what is "earned" is contentious, but in fairness to him, it was directly based on his fee income.

I had a similar experience when working at one particularly highly successful financial services firm. They had a trader who earned a £50m bonus one year. I was shocked, but the justification was that he brought in £500m profit for the firm that year and they couldn't afford to lose him. One silver lining was that half of the £50m immediately went to HMRC via PAYE...

I get beaten, spat at deal with behaviour that's extremely challenging in my role and I am suffering from mental health issues plus physical problems and I could never afford what the high earners do. The fact is they are affording a much better lifestyle despite and obviously can afford it.

Massive tax bill
Pension
Savings
Can afford Big house to renovate and run
Decent holidays not every year but every few years but always have a few uk holidays
Still shop Asda Aldi
Cars are still saved for Certainly don't own a new car Upgrade every 6/7 years
Can afford a tutor for gcse year
Don't need to worry if something breaks down
We live in south east so it's expensive. We are very comfortable but not loaded. I don't buy designer bags etc
I dont have expensive salon treatments.

What hit home for me was the aftermath of an accident in August. That scared me and brought me up short. Life went on; I had hardly any time off work but could take two/three users a day, have my hair washed and blow dried twice a week. Those expenses added up to about £600 over a month. If we had been on minimum wage, eligible only for SSP, possibly with infants, we'd have been completely fucked and that's where life and consequences get scary

This is the real crunch point, especially if, like me, you grew up without money.

I first realised I was doing well when I had no worries about expensive health related items one of my then young children needed. Later when DH had to give up work through illness when we still had four DC in full time education there were many anxieties but money wasn't one of them either to pay the household bills or to access care he needed which simply wasn't available on the NHS.

Whilst I worked very long hours both at home and work I was also in a position to have more control over how and where that work was done and much more flexibility than most low earners are afforded.

That is definitely a luxury situation.

@ShrikeAttack

I hate the 'yes but' replies on any MN money thread.

Money gives you options. That's what it does. It frees you from the default.

You don't have to take those options just because you can.

But the options are there.

Money frees you from any necessary choice.

That's what money does.

This is it. And I’m very grateful for it.

If the car breaks down, I can afford to get it fixed (it’s 10 years old… definitely not in the ‘new cars every year’ crowd.

I can afford to put extra in my pension.

I have the choice to live in a house that’s in a convenient place - safe neighbourhood, walkable to a fast train line to my work, good schools. It’s a pretty standard semi but my income (a little below £100k, husband’s is much lower) gives me the choice to have this house in an area that means my commute is shorter and my kids are well educated and we feel safe and have good local shops, community etc.

I have the choice (absent pandemic) to visit my family who live on the other side of the world once a year.

I have the choice to be able to hire a cleaner, giving me time back every week.

I can buy good quality food without worrying about paying other bills.

I have the ability to pay for my kids to go to holiday clubs and to take part in plenty of activities outside school.

I had the choice to send my kids to a nursery that I liked and trusted, even though the fees were higher.

I’m not bathing in fivers and I’d be lying if I said I never worried about finances. But I’m under no illusion that my income affords me the ability to ‘buy’ time back by outsourcing things like cleaning and minimising commuting time, it will afford me a nicer retirement, and it gives me freedom from day to day worry about how we’ll pay the next bill. I’ve been in that situation and there is no comparison. My life is immeasurably easier now.

We are a >£100k income household. We have a modest house in a nice area, put some savings aside for the kids each month, have a buffer for emergencies, contribute 10% of our salary to charities, commute to work…we don’t have much left over.

@Draggondragon

I also pay £400 a month for 8 sets of school fees for my housekeepers children and neices. That gives them the chance to get out of poverty. We spend a lot on ourselves and a lot in other people and not a huge amount of savings, just a few properties and a savings pot to cover medical bills if we have to live back in the UK. As there is little to no Healthcare, we will ensure at least 250k for Healthcare and if we don't spend it, will leave to charity to educate girls.

Not a huge amounts of savings , just a few properties !!!

To answer the OP, DH and I pay c.£200,000 tax to HMRC a year. £52,000 on school fees per year, £12,000 on specialist music lessons and clubs for DC, £27,000 for housekeeper (incl her tax and NI, pension etc), £36,000 a year on mortgage. £12,000 a year on groceries, £30,000 on holidays. We get through it! You probably couldn't tell if you saw me in Sainsbury's in trackpants and no make up which is my usual state - not much gold dripping off me, no gold plating!

You didn’t ask about charitable contributions. I help family and friends when needed. I also contribute monthly to two specific charities on direct debit. I buy for the food bank every week. We buy charitable Xmas gifts every year. I pay extra into school for all activities (it’s a normal school in a pretty low income area so my extra covers those parents who can’t afford). I’m fully aware that I’m in a privileged position and give back frequently. I assume many high earners do the same.

100k Salary is obscene

That’s about the starting point for the top 1% of earners. The 1% who pay 28% of the total income tax revenue.

100k Salary is obscene and don’t get me started on 30k a month. How can anyone sleep at night earning that knowing how many families struggle to keep a roof over their head or make sure everyone goes to bed fed

What's your solution? That people refuse to take the salaries offered with high-paying jobs? That everyone works in a minimum wage job?

Just because people earn high wages doesn't mean they don't appreciate the luck they have (and yes there is often luck involved),; that they don't realise that there are many in really difficult situations; and (at least in some cases) try to give back (above and beyond taxes).

I understand that you're angry and that there is huge inequity. No question about it. So what's the solution? Surely it isn't in being pissed off at people who have big incomes? They might illustrate the problem but they're not causing it.

I think in this country many people aspire to send their DS//DS to top schools. We did and at £43,000 per anumn it has been beyond a struggle.
Sending our DS to the local state school would have been fair wiser. We both grew up with very little , both of us could write a book on the poverty we experienced and family lives we lived as children. We wanted our DS to have the very best education possible .Sacrificing everything for your children is not always the wisest thing to do.

Yes the ability to give to charities we like without worrying about it is a privilege and brings me a lot of joy.

As are things like the memberships to museums and nice places, that bring us a benefit but also support those places. Incredibly lucky for those choices.