@Xenia
It is not hard. I started full time in 1983 as a trainee solicitor in London on £6250 a year (about £20k in today's money and those jobs today earn about £35k to £40k a year by the way so that is one career where wages in real terms have doubled over that period.....)
As your income grows you spend more. Eg we could not afford things like hair conditioner or orange juice only squash. I did not buy deodorant. 50% of our net salaries went out in full time childcare for the 2 week only baby (yes 2 weeks not 2 months).
Also as you earn more tax gets much higher eg I bet some people on here don't even know you get no single person tax allowance at all over a certain level. You also don't get child benefit. No one is going to cry for higher earners but it does have an impact on the salary. Eg to earn £100k when a year or 2 qualified at a City law firm you probably need to live near the office so might have £2k a month rent. £100k after tax is £5557 a month but there is the extra 9% graduate tax for some on earnings over £26k or so.
So let us ask how does anyone spent £5557 a month? First about half might be your rent. Cost of childcare in a good inner London full time nursery (and remember the parents may be working 9am to 11pm every single night and every other weekend so need additional childcare too)... is about £24k a year per baby and the state pays about £2k a year of that.
So rent £2k, childcare £2k x 2 (divided by 2 as shared with a husband) that is still £3000 a month of the £5k just on rent and childcare. that leaves you about £2500 a month left for bills, food, holidays etc etc
As you earn more at one point my mortgage was £90k a year interest only (£1.3m mortgage). I also paid five sets of school fees. Even just now I worked out the other day I will have paid about £230k since the twins went to university in paying their university fees and then 2 years of law school fees and allowance each. (I have no savings and own a mortgaged house and am in my 50s. When I am 67 I will get the state pension but have no other pension. I will work until I died. I have helped all 5 children buy a first property. That is where it all goes. My council tax is about £5000 a year. My heating and electricity is over £5k a year.
Despite all that I am actually relatively careful with money. I always buy a second hand car outright for cash. I do my own cleaning and gardening these days.. I haven't had a night away from home since 2019.
I dont often agree with you Xenia but that reflects us
Started work as graduates in London in 1990 on about £20k each. DH is from a very working class background- no privilege anywhere. Was up against it in his professional role despite both going to very good uni.
Our first house we bought- we had only a mattress for a long time- no sofa, 2nd hand table. 1st child had a basic cot and and cheap fold down pram. Didnt even have a baby bath as they were too much money. Everyone we knew was like this. No luxuries for many years but also no debt.
My 1st pregnancy test in 1994 cost £6 and it almost took us into debt! I had to wait until payday. We lived hand to mouth for many years. I remember debating which of the prescription items to get when ill once- we were both professionals working in London.
When I went back to work after our 1st child our childcare was more than my salary- but a joint cost and I had worked very hard to get where I was and as a woman I would have never got back there again. Had a Nanny for a while when I had 2 children but mostly daycare.
Eventually moved North and took a massive salary drop but housing costs were less and with 2 children we couldn't live in our tiny London flat any longer.
Children dipped in and out of independent.
Our mortgage is now £3700 a month as `I shortened the term to be rid of it by 56. Gas and electric is £500 a month. Council tax £3000 a year. My DH has good pension provision- mine is ok- both aim to be retired before 60 but maybe some consultancy.
I use my car heavily for work and transport items sometimes. It cost £50k in cash- my last one I had for 9 years and the one before that for 10 years.
Our joint base income is about £300k but always bonuses/shares.
We are very comfortably off but we dont have a cleaner, a gardener or a housekeeper (and no-one I know does- its a MN aspirational myth)
Only now in our 50s could we consider a 2nd home (not that we are). It wasn't affordable before.
I know that we are very well off. We do give back. I work 20% of my time pro bono and I am a trustee of a major charity and 2 smaller ones which takes a lot of time and my professional expertise.
I did help my children buy but by putting £200 a month in a help to buy isa over many years rather than a lump sum. That gave them about £15k each.
But the kind of lifestyle some are describing on here isn't affordable at £500k and certainly not at £100k even in the North.
I often suspect most people on here are spouting bollocks about their incomes or only have 1 highish earner (which is a very different scenario). Or they have massive debt, cars on HP etc. Or only rent their homes maybe or have rich families or interest only mortgages. Or their DH is the high earner and they dont really know the truth about how much money they have longer term.