WIBU to ask to share a birthday party.

[MrsWidgerysLodger]

DDs birthday is coming up and we're currently looking at what do to party wise. We've just received an invitation for another girls party at a play centre on the actual day of DDs birthday (and the day we were hoping to have her party on!) Would I be unreasonable to message the other girls mum, explain the situation and see if she'd be interested in a joint party with is taking on half the costs and responsibilities for it or is that just cheeky and rude. I'm leaning one way, my DH is leaning the other so thought I'd ask here for some unbiased perspective.

I think the only thing you could do would be to mention it’s your DD’s birthday in such a way that it leaves the door open for the other mum to suggest you share the party.

I’ve used this tactic before in similar scenarios where I felt it would be rude to ask but it sets up the opportunity for the other person to offer. “Billy would have loved to come to the party but I’m looking after his two cousins that day” - the party host can either say “Oh what a shame Billy can’t make it” or “Bring the cousins along, the more the merrier!”. And if the latter you say “Really? Are you absolutely sure, they would love that!” and the host looks generous and you look grateful - rather than rude and entitled as you would if you’d just asked straight out if you can bring the cousins.

In this scenario it’s slightly trickier to drop the hint in a way the party host might take the bait, but you might be able to think of a way to do it.

Yeah definitely don’t do that. A friend of mine has done it a few times to me for our own birthdays (as adults). So I do all the organising etc and she just turns up. I said no this year. It’s not about the money, but hijacking someone else’s plans and expecting them to share your celebration is unreasonable now it’s already organised

Yabu

It's too late to ask to do a joint party, other child's invites already sent out and parents already organised her party

Meh this happens. You'll need to arrange your DDs party either later same day or the following day, lucky you have warning to. (Sunday parties were our favourite! Doesn't matter it's not in her birthday, it makes her actual birthday day more relaxed).

Don't worry about next year, child will be at primary school then , different circle of friends.

My tip (have 3DC) is don't do joint birthday parties and don't do whole class parties.
Many reasons why I say this.

Parties of 8-15 at activity place go down well at that age.