To want to stay at home?

[yesterdaysbread]

I’ve got a 3 month old ds, he’s fairly easygoing and smiley wee thing but he’s just hit a sleep regression and is waking every hour in the night. (BF so I’m up with him and not able to nap during day so I’m fairly shattered)

Dh is from france and has arranged for us to go over for a long weekend to visit family.

I was already a bit nervous about this as ds is not sleeping well, and I’m a bit of a home bird who would prefer to be in my own space if things are difficult. However I know dh is very excited about the trip, I’m sure his family is looking forward to seeing him and for some of them meeting ds for the first time, and I’m sort of looking forward to it a bit.

However, it will be a fair amount of driving for ds to be in his car seat (1h20 to the ferry, 40 mins on ferry and then the first place to visit is another 1h30 from calais) even though we would of course make plenty of stops and even stay overnight in between places if need be.

The other thing is that he had his 12 week jabs today and has been quite fussy, which may continue and or be exacerbated by the travel.

I suppose there is also COVID to consider.

If I stay home I’ll be disappointing dh and probably his family, and will also miss out on having a few extra hands to help out with ds. If I go I may find it really difficult managing a potentially overtired and fussy baby and staying in unfamiliar places including with some family members I’ve never met.

Yabu - go
Yanbu - stay

I travel from Ireland to England on ferry regularly from when mine were a month old so I think yabu. On the plus side family meant I could slip off and feed then hand the baby to dh who then did all the baby showing while I napped. I was never so rested,

Do you see your family?

I don't think it's that bad a journey tbh.

That’s not a terrible journey at all. You’ll be fine.

Thanks for your replies, glad to know it’s not considered a bad journey for ds, that is reassuring

Sounds like you just don’t want to go and are looking for excuses

That’s really not a bad journey (my in laws are two planes/a 12 hour drive without stops and we’ve been doing that regularly since oldest was 12 weeks).

I completely understand being a home bird and not wanting to go, I really do, but I don’t think it would be at all fair on your DH to not go. It’s not like he can take DS without you (nor, I’m sure, would you want him to!).

I think he's the perfect age to do a journey like that as it gets harder when they start crawling, let alone walking!

Any side effects from jabs normally wear off very quickly.

You might he sleeps really well after the attention and how tiring it is

It seems unfair not to go - that’s a fine journey length for a baby.

Your DS will be just fine. They tend to sleep in the car and the change of air may even reset his sleep again.

It is a very simple journey and it sounds like you are looking for an excuse to get out of it.

@RandomMess yes we do, another reason why it’s only fair that we take this time to see DH’s family. I think I just feel a bit apprehensive about having to put on a happy face when I know I’ll be very tired and ds will probably be fussy…feel like I would prefer to be at home in these unsettled times but then that would be unfair on dh to deprive him of being with his son and family

I wouldn't worry about the journey. It's not very long and sounds quite broken up anyway. Willing hands to hold and look after him might be quite nice too - you can sneak away for a nap or two and let DH and his adoring family watch baby!

I think it would be unfair not to go, yes. It's not a bad journey at all.

Yanbu, I wouldn't be me. Surely it would be easier if they visited you?

I think with a baby there will never be a perfect time - they will always be fussy or teething or weaning or this or that. If you want to find an excuse you will. It's only a long weekend, just go.

Thanks for all your replies!
@Grapeexpectations very true, I probably just need to adjust my attitude and go with the flow a bit more :)