To want to take violent ex to court

[1potato]

This all happened years ago. I am now closer to 40 and living a happy life. But when I was 17 my boyfriend of the time emotionally coerced me to quit school, move out of the family home and into a very rough block of flats. I was miserable and attempted suicide, and he started to physically abuse me the very next day. This ranged from punching to strangling to spitting to threatening to kill my 10 year old sister if I told anyone. I eventually left him (without too much difficulty), did my A Levels and got my life back on track.

The last I heard of him he was married with at least 1 kid and working in a high school.

So my question is, AIBU to want to take him to court now? Would this ruin his life and his kid's life?

Additionally, does anyone have experience of this? I literally have no idea where to start. I didn't report it to the police at the time and have little in the way of evidence. Just a few people saw bruises.

Any help and guidance appreciated.

What was the outcome of the police report at the time op

@Pompom2367

What was the outcome of the police report at the time op

Sorry there was no police involvement at the time.

There will be no "taking it to court". You can report to the police and they may take it to the CPS and they may decide to prosecute. It's really not up to you.

From my own personal experinece even current cases like this rarely make it to court. I'm assuming that you have no evidence, no whatsapp messages, no text messages at all due to how long ago it was?

No harm in taking to the police though and see what they say.

This may sound very defeatist, but I would get some counselling if you think you need it and put it behind you. This is a crime, but the will and the resources to take it seriously are largely absent.

@knittingaddict

There will be no "taking it to court". You can report to the police and they may take it to the CPS and they may decide to prosecute. It's really not up to you.

From my own personal experinece even current cases like this rarely make it to court. I'm assuming that you have no evidence, no whatsapp messages, no text messages at all due to how long ago it was?

No harm in taking to the police though and see what they say.

No I have no evidence sadly. I told people what he'd done after I left him but I guess that still doesn't count as evidence.

Thanks so much for sharing your knowledge of the process and liklihood of progress.

@knittingaddict

This may sound very defeatist, but I would get some counselling if you think you need it and put it behind you. This is a crime, but the will and the resources to take it seriously are largely absent.

I don't feel in dire need of counselling but think it would probably be beneficial at some point.

Yes the lack of will and resource is what I fear. I guess I'd just hoped that in light of recent high profile cases that it may be taken more seriously.