I cant stop crying. Can someone just hold my hand for a bit.

[Howtomovethroughitall]

It's like a tsumani, and I cannot stop. Have drunk a small whiskey (it's night where i am) to try to calm down, but it can't fix anything.

My mum is very ill with cancer, and suddenly had to go back into hospital. I live abroad. I'm supposed to be getting on a flight to another country to go to a conference with my DP in a few hours and I don't think I can do it. I feel so heavy, I don't know if I can make it through it without breaking down and crying and crying and crying.

I need to make plans to get home, which involves an emergency check up for a serious health problem of my own before being able to travel. My health means I cannot drive at present, which is another smothering impossible issue for going home by myself (without DP) as my family live rurally, and the relevant hospitals are very far apart and things keep changing. Everything feels so heavy and daunting and I don't know what to do.

I just need to get it out, really.

OP if you can't get to your mum because of your health or other logistics (I couldnt) Please remember that no single thing in life defines a relationship. You and your mum are the sum of all your years together, not just what is possible now.

I am so sorry, you are in a tough spot. When my mother was very ill I was trying to carry on with everything I usually do. And it almost broke me. Your ability to prioritize will be affected by the amount of stress you are under and it will make it feel like you have to sort everything out immediately. Set a time (in the morning) to think abotu what you have to do first, and spend tonight helping yourself feel better. This is what helped me - stop drinking alcohol - a cup of tea would be more helpful right now. Practice the breathing and add tensing and relaxing your muscles (progressive muscle relaxation). And you may also want to listen to some guided meditations or sleep stories on youtube. Tomorrow you can look at what you can give up - don't try to go to the conference, maybe take time off work too? Then you can sort out your medical needs, and once that is done, you can make your arrangements to go to your mum. As for travel, you can think about that when you get there - sort one thing at a time and don't borrow trouble by trying to think about everything right now. Sort that when it comes to it, rather that thinking about it in advance. Big hugs to you. You will cope, but the key is to reduce as many other demands on you as you can.

Im so sorry. Big hugs xxx

So sorry for what you are going through. It is so unfair that everything seems to pile on when you can least cope with it.

Hope you get you consultant appointment sorted out.