A neighbor and friend of 20 years lost her mind on me over text last week because our 15 yo daughters had a falling out that was brewing all spring. My daughter met new friends and formed a group and her daughter didn't. There are 250 kids in their grade so plenty of new friend options.
The final straw for the 15 year olds friendship occurred about 2 weeks ago. My daughter invited her friend to lunch to try to work through things and the friend declined the invitation, talked about her and shared private information, and told a mutual friend that she "can be mean to my daughter bc she always forgives me." So my daughter is now determined not to forgive her and will barely look at her.
The mother asked me to meet to talk things through and I promised to ask my daughter to neutralize any drama so her's could move on. I did that within 48 hours. I did not tell her how her daughter contributed bc I didn't want to tattle and I was trying to make the problem smaller. After a sad weekend where her daughter didn't get invited to a party, she sent me a crazy text and copied a mutual friend who is also a neighbor. The text said I was refusing to talk to my daughter about including hers, my daughter is intentionally cruel and plotting to destroy her daughter's life, and that she is going to have to send her daughter to boarding school bc of this and it is my fault. I did not respond to the text immediately because she sounded so unhinged. She sent me an apology the next day and I hate to say that I didn't respond to that text either. I am so upset. She twisted my words and I don't trust she is able to hear what I have to say bc of her own pain.
Would you try to talk to the mother again? I feel hurt that she told two mutual friends who both said they wanted out of the middle after seeing the text. Apparently she has been talking to them all summer. I have not defended myself or my daughter bc I hate conflict and drama and am trying to respect their request to stay out of the middle. I have seen them both and they were friendly, but I feel betrayed by them too and I want to set the record straight. I was trying to take the high road, but looks like I'll be alone on the road. These are women I raised my kids with, travel with, shared our lives with. She was never my favorite, but it feels so awful. There are 3 other neighbors in our "group" that do not know but will find out when the next birthday rolls around, unless we all pretend things are normal. What should I do, or not do?