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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to restrict how much we have the heating on

901 replies

reallyagain · 01/11/2021 22:26

After a winter working from home last year we were hit with a horrendous heating bill (several thousand on top of already paying quite a high amount per month). So this year with gas prices being so high I’m really conscious of being careful. DH wants it on much more than I do and it’s causing endless rows. He’s turned it on 4 separate times today and is sulking when I comment. We share heating bills - I suggested he pays more to have it on more but he refuses.

How much do you have the heating on if you work from home?

OP posts:
Displayname · 02/11/2021 06:53

q-bot.co/
Not used this but you can now use a robot to spray insulation under the ground floor - so for those with a carpet (rather than exposed floorboards) it’s less disruptive.

Whinge · 02/11/2021 06:56

@reallyagain

The meter isn't faulty
You seem pretty sure of this. Which is odd as you didn't realise £660 a month was excessively high for the property you live in. Confused
icedcoffees · 02/11/2021 06:59

@Wnikat

Imagine if this was reversed: my husband won't let me have the heating on so I have to work in the cold all day and go to bed in a cold house.

People would be screaming LTB !!

If your heating bills were £660 per month (like OP's are) then I very doubt they would be!
icedcoffees · 02/11/2021 07:00

@reallyagain

Green why would it not be real fgs
Because you're ignoring half the questions and just seem to want to win an argument with your DH rather than solve the real problem which is that you have some serious issues with either your bill, meter or heating systems.
OnTheBenchOfDoom · 02/11/2021 07:02

I would hire a thermal imaging camera to see how much heat you are leaking. That heating bill is ridiculous and you need to insulate your property and look at whether your windows need replacing. Ours were replaced a couple of years ago because we were losing heat from the original double glazing.

Mine is a 4 bed 3 reception room detached house and I currently pay £150 for gas and electric each month. But mine is a 25 year old modern build with good insulation in winter.

gcgirlsrock · 02/11/2021 07:04

It’s not nice to be freezing cold op. YABVU unless you are going bankrupt.

TrueRefuge · 02/11/2021 07:04

Jesus £660pm on heating??? Wowzer.

I think he's being really miserly to not listen to your suggestion of paying proportionally....

It's frustrating he wants it on before bed, then sleeps naked. In that case I'd really be putting my foot down and saying I'm not paying the extra: he buys an electric heater that he puts on where he wants it, and he pays the extra electricity that that consumes over and above your standard bill.

This would piss me off so much, both financially and environmentally. I work with a blanket, socks and hot water bottle, and on cold nights hot water bottle goes in the bed an hour before to get things toasty.

How are your respective earnings? Does he earn a lot more than you....?

Long-term, it does sound like you need to consider improving the house so it retains heat better....?

radiatorsz · 02/11/2021 07:05

Because you're ignoring half the questions and just seem to want to win an argument with your DH rather than solve the real problem which is that you have some serious issues with either your bill, meter or heating systems.

yes

gcgirlsrock · 02/11/2021 07:06

I also find it oddly controlling (and abusive) preventing your husband from feeling comfortable and insisting he stays cold all day. If a woman was posting that she was too cold to work because her dh was controlling the heating there would be LTB posts and women’s aid suggestions.

Original poster
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 07:10

Gcgirl don't you find it controlling to make me pay £660pm to excessively heat the house so my DH doesn't have to wear an extra layer in the day and pjs at night?

OP posts:
Original poster
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 07:13

There was no error with the bill and the meter is fine. New boiler but old radiators. Solid walls.

OP posts:
HalzTangz · 02/11/2021 07:14

@reallyagain

Vivienne do you mind me asking how much you spend on gas/electric per month? Last winter we were averaging £660pm. Can't really cut back elsewhere to pay for that! It's a 3 bed house albeit Victorian
You need to check out the insulation of your house.

We were working from home last winter and my OH insisted the heating was on all the time. We were paying £130 a month for both gas and electric.

This year he's back in the office, so heating runs from 5 to 7 am then 9 to 11pm. Rest time I wear weather appropriate clothes and haven't felt cold at all. With current settings we paying £100 a month.

Our supplier is Boost Energy

Original poster
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 07:14

One little frog it looks like you haven't read my posts, I have recently changed supplier which I'm hoping will help

OP posts:
gcgirlsrock · 02/11/2021 07:16

I think you are failing to find a comfortable compromise, and being really cold is the worst feeling in the world. I find it impossible and uncomfortable to work with tons of layers on, restrictive and difficult. You are no doubt saving money on commutes so this is one of the wfh costs that needs to be factored in over the winter, not all year round!
I would leave if my dh behaved like this. End of.
It is his home too, and moreover the complete absence of interest in his well being is very telling of the relationship overall.
I would feel impoverished sat there freezing all day, and would move out to a warn and cosy house!

Original poster
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 07:16

Icedcoffes yes I'm igniting get wuestions asking me things I'm stated upthread Confused

OP posts:
XiCi · 02/11/2021 07:16

I'm another that's incredulous at your bill. I was just discussing this with friends last week as they said their bill was £250 per month for their 1920s 4bed. I thought that was incredibly high and told them to change provider. Mine has recently gone up to £80 per month for 1920s 3 bed semi as I'm now working from home. Do a price comparison.

Our heating hasn’t gone on yet and we will only run it enough to keep the system going and just heat the rooms we work in
Just as an aside, the way gas Central heating works it costs exactly the same to heat one room as every room in the house so you won't save any money by switching the radiators off in unused rooms

Onthegrid · 02/11/2021 07:17

I’m the one who feel the cold here and now the only one left wfh. I work in the warmest room of the house and have a small electric heater.
We have the house at 20c and wear appropriate clothes, I wouldn’t dream of wearing a tshirt in the middle of winter or of going to bed naked.
I won’t suffer the cold as life has to be enjoyable but I am also not going to throw money away.

Capferret · 02/11/2021 07:17

I would get the energy bill in your dp’s name only and give him a small amount towards.

Original poster
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 07:17

The thing is, I'm a cold person. So I dress appropriately. DH is not a snowflake, he is into the current trend of cold showers for example and enjoys wild camping. As a point of principle he feels the house should be heated to a warm temp - for example he just put it up to 24 degrees this morning

OP posts:
Platax · 02/11/2021 07:18

I'm in the South-East and (until this morning) haven't felt it's been cold enough yet this year to put the central heating on, though we have sometimes had an electric oil-type radiator on in the sitting room or bedroom. I have gone to wearing extra layers.

When it is cold enough for central heating but it's just me working in the house, I simply heat the room I'm in and, again, wear extra layers. We kept the bills reasonably low last year that way. It's not miserly to refuse to waste heat keeping empty rooms warm.

Takemetothe90s · 02/11/2021 07:18

If your heating bill is several thousand pounds your house must be massive. You must have a very good income to afford that.
I’m with your husband, there’s no way I’m not heating my home, that’s what I’ve worked for. Miserable way to live.

XiCi · 02/11/2021 07:18

You need to check out the insulation of your house
I have noticed a big difference since we got the loft insulated and cavity wall insulation.

Simonjt · 02/11/2021 07:19

How many units were you using and is your meter measuring in hcf or m3? Using this you can work out exactly which supplier will be the cheapest for you, otherwise it is a case of waiting for a bill before deciding to live supplier again.

Donotgogentle · 02/11/2021 07:19

“Just as an aside, the way gas Central heating works it costs exactly the same to heat one room as every room in the house so you won't save any money by switching the radiators off in unused rooms”

How can that be? The boiler only has to pump hot water to a limited number of radiators.

Brefugee · 02/11/2021 07:19

I hate overheated houses. Anything over 20degrees makes me really grumpy (am menopausal so I have my own internal heating issues)

our rule is that you layer up. if you get to the point where you need gloves to work or unreasonable numbers of layers we put the heating on (joke's on us- it doesn't work properly).

Can't you go through the average of the last 5 years before 2020, and say you are prepared to contribute half of that to the pot, but anything over that he has to pay? (and you might chuck in a bit more if you are wfh just to show willing?)

20°C seems perfectly reasonable to me.