Men and the pub

[Vee1983]

First time on here. I just need to vent. I have one child aged 2.5 and another on the way. I work full time (from home since the pandemic) and so does my Partner. He however goes into the office. As such he feels entitled to an hour or so in the pub roughly 3 times a week. Am I being unreasonable in getting pissed off about this? I have no time to myself as I collect my daughter from nursery in my lunch hour and then finish work with her here. Once finished I have housework to do and dinner to prepare while he sits in the pub.

We both pay half the bills each
Do you earn the same?

How much does he spend each week in the pub that could be spent on childcare?

Does anyone realistically go out 4 nights a week when they have young children?

The OPs partner. There or there abouts.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Does anyone realistically go out 4 nights a week when they have young children?

The OPs partner. There or there abouts.

Yup, he is a fine example of taking liberties. He needs to wise up.

So he has three hours a week to himself?

I really don't see the issue. You have two weeknights plus two weekend days where you can take your time if you want.

I couldn't put up with that but neither I nor DH are regular pub goers.

Is it actually 3 hours a week or is it more? Is he tipsy by the time he gets home?

It's all very well people telling OP to not make dinner, not do the housework and go out on the evenings that her partner is in but who wants to live in a pig sty eating takeaways acting like a tag team that just cover the childcare. It's not unreasonable to expect a semblance of family life in the evening with both parents at home.

It's only going to get worse when you have a second child. I would have a chat with him about what's reasonable and fair on everyone in the family.

It's a shame for you that you didn't put all the info in your op.

From your op alone ...3 hours per week me time, isn't that much, as long as you get it too,

But...then you've added the info that...

1. You pay 50/50 bills
2. You also do childcare every afternoon
3. You do all the cooking

So, unfortunately for the two of you, amd for your budget, 3 hours a week in a pub isn't achievable. More because of the budget than the time. And it's going to get worse when the next baby comes along.

A pint of two in a pub is £10. So, that's £30 per week. But as a family you don't have £30 a week because you should be using that £30 for an extra 6 hours of childcare so that you can work in the afternoons.

Maybe OP doesn't want time to go out or whatever. Maybe she just wants a partner who is around to help out instead of leaving her to carry the load. You can't just sod off when you feel like it when you have young kids. It's likely he sees this as not something he needs to change. Will he carry on with 3 nights a week until he packs his job in/retires? Its not sustainable and I don't think he is seeing that.