So I’m currently 39+4 days pregnant. My partner and I used to work for this company a few months ago and had a small group of friends. Since we’ve all left our place of employment we don’t really talk but have a group chat where the odd person will ask how everyone is every couple of weeks or so. I was close with one of the girls and we would hang out all the time when we were working before I was pregnant. This was COVID related work and so we’ve all only known each other for a year or so.
Since leaving this company I’ve tried to distance myself from her, she’s really attention seeking, a bit childish and I’ve realised that we don’t have much in common. When I told her I was pregnant she was surprised but it wasn’t like a happy congratulations that I received. Instead she asked “are you okay?” “Is this what you want?”. I’m grateful for her checking up on me during the pregnancy but it seems as though she’s only trying to find out if I’m unhappy. She’ll ask things like “are you taking care of yourself” “how are you feeling, pregnancy must be so hard on your body” asking how me and my partner are doing. She got upset once because she thought I was ignoring her text messages.
She’s now offered to stay for a week with us when the baby’s here because “we’ll need sleep” yet in the same breath she jokes about handing the baby back if she throws up on her or if she farts. She keeps saying “you’ll need to tell people no if you don’t want something” and “make sure you look after yourself. She apparently likes kids but is glad to hand them back. She’s just really childish and can be patronising. I’m 25 and she’s 27, no kids but lives with her partner two hours away from us.
She keeps asking if there’s anything that I or the baby need, and she saw some cute baby jumpsuits. I’m grateful but I feel like she’s trying to get too involved and especially questioning me and trying to make sure I’m okay, as if she’s my mother. She offered because she works from home. I really don’t want her around, I’ll send a few pictures in the group chat but that’s about it, it’s me and my partners first child and I would prefer that we spend the first few months with our child, getting to know her, how she is and get the hang of parenting. My partner is friendly with people though and I don’t want to come across as overbearing or rude but we’re also in a bloody pandemic. I don’t mind close family coming to visit but we won’t even be seeing distant family members and close friends for a while after she’s here! We’ve only known this friend for a year! I’ve told her we don’t really want too many people around when she’s here etc but she’s the type to keep asking. Not even my mum is coming to stay with us, of course she’s offered and so has my partners grandparents which I’m fine with because they’re family but not some friend who seems to just want to get involved because she’s bored or something. If we do need help we will turn to family, not a friend who we’ve known for a year.
Am I being unreasonable to not want her around? I’m also not sure if I should mention that she asked to my partner, in case I sound a bit crazy lol.