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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that dp buying a HUGE model boat is stupid and unrealistic?

10 replies

accessorizewithbabysick · 11/12/2007 22:03

DP has just spent nearly £200 on a model boat in kit form that apparently will take some months to put together. The box is here, and it is huuuuuge, I have no idea how many pieces. We have a tiny little area in the corner of our dining room for the massive mac he bought last year (no consultation) and no other space readily available for a table with hundreds of small pieces of plastic to sit for months. Did I mention we have a 1 year old and a 4 year old, both of whom will be quite interested no doubt in all the plastic bits they can eat or drag round the house.

We've spent several months trying to declutter the house and get rid of unwanted furniture, toys etc so things felt a bit less chaotic. And then he springs this on me. I was originally reasonable, until he said it would be 3-6 months until it was built, then I suggested that it was a bit unrealistic to be purchasing such a thing with no space to put it and small children around. Massive argument ensued, we didn't talk for a couple of days. He went and bought it and keeps trying to bring it up, I refuse to discuss on the basis that we'll argue. He's now tonight said let's discuss it tonight or we're having an argument on Christmas day when I open it!!! I don't even want to open the topic up again, I think he's an immature, idiotic, childish git at present who can't see when something is JUST NOT POSSIBLE. He thinks he's just going to bully me into whatever he wants (which is what happens mainly with stuff like this i.e. new Mac, cars etc). And I've had enough of it. The one thing that's really pissing him off is me refusing to discuss it, he's gone off in a huff now. So I just want to keep doing that, really. Both ds2 and I have been ill for the last couple of weeks, I'm so tired, ds1's birthday is this week and work is doing my head in.
And he wants to talk about his blessed boat. I just want to scream at him to grow up, but then we probably shan't be talking at Christmas.

Advice?

OP posts:
soopermum1 · 11/12/2007 22:54

if it makes you feel any better i'm in exactly the same posiiton. my DH's remote controlled car cost about £200 all in, and rising as i see little packages come through the post all the time. reckons he and DS (aged 4) will love it. in reality he will probalbly not let DS touch it for fear of breaking it.

he asked me to buy some part for it, costing £40, for xmas. so we went to the model shop, i handed over my credit card, they handed me the object in a plastic bag, i immediately handed it to DH and wished him a merry xmas

he's getting bugger all on xmas day, but this is always the way it goes

soopermum1 · 11/12/2007 22:54

oh yes, and he's busy putting it together as i type

Lauriefairycake · 11/12/2007 22:59

First of all you're exhausted and the children have been ill and you've both been decluttering and you haven't been consulted.

How about you put some agreement in now - it may be unrealistic to expect him to get rid of it seeing as he really wants it (imagine if he said 'no more shoes' in that cupboard ) And the agreement could say he is responsible for putting all bits away and you won't be responsible for 'watching' it when he's not around

QuintessentialShadowOfSnowball · 11/12/2007 23:08

You will NOT be responsible for watching. He will have to be responsible to tidy up after each attempt, and it will be his responsibility to keep the kids away while he do this, as you cannot be expected to go on a full entertainment alert each time he wants to indulge in his hobby.

Lauriefairycake · 11/12/2007 23:11

maybe get him a shed too ...

accessorizewithbabysick · 12/12/2007 09:46

Thanks all, most reasonable suggestions. Why do I feel like being unreasonable? It's because he never consults me, he just decides on a new hobby that's usually expensive, time consuming and imo boring and then gets it all. I just don't feel like I have the same freedom for some reason. Ånd he bullies me when he wants something e.g. upgrade his car, mac, hard disk recorder. He just goes on and on and on about it until I can't bear it anymore and give in out of tiredness/annoyance/guilt. This feels like the same again when the practical obvious answer is if we don't have space for a decent desk (considering both of us do some IT work from home, that's important!) we don't have space for a stupid boat.

Sooper, that's the excuse dp gives too (that 4 yo ds will love it!).
Laurie, I suggested the garage, it didn't go down well!

OP posts:
Ubergeekian · 12/12/2007 11:21

Perhaps he's feeling a bit left out (that's biology, not your fault) and needs to indulge in the primal male drive to tinker with stuff? Surely this has to be an area for compromise - he's bought the kit, so now he as to find some way of making it without feeding the children unreasonable amounts of polystyrene. He might even enjoy the challenge of inventing a solution.

By the way, what's the problem with a new mac? At this time of year isn't a nice raincoat a good idea?

HappyDaddy · 12/12/2007 11:51

Count yourself lucky, my mate bought a REAL speedboat for £35 (complete with trailor).

My eyes nearly rolled out of their sockets. He lives in Charlton and has never been in a boat in his life.

He was surprised that it wouldn't start....

accessorizewithbabysick · 12/12/2007 14:21

realdaddy!
Ubergeekian, youre prob. right I don't get men and hobby thing. He just never sticks to anything so I suspect it will sit there and never get finished anyway!
Definintely his responsibility, I'm not spending my time keeping it away from ds2!

OP posts:
bozza · 12/12/2007 14:32

I think this is one of those situations where I can see both sides. DH has decided to get into radio controlled stuff too. He bought a truck and then swapped it with someone from an online forum for a much huger one that is petrol not battery.

But he does keep it in the garage. In fact the other day he was on freecycle asking for a bar stool to put in the garage. I am a bit about this considering we already keep my car, the children's bikes and scooters, DH's golf clubs (see another time consuming hobby..), the roof box, lawn mower, various other tools and gardening equipment, two ladders etc in our not very large garage. And it is cold out there.

I do think YABU though not discussing it with him and deliberately dragging out the issue. But understand re the lack of consultation etc.

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