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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Overreaction?

30 replies

Broken123 · 31/10/2021 22:34

So, last week it turned out my husband had picked up COVID. He has been staying in the spare room since he found out and has not been using the communal areas, ie kitchen, en-suite etc. He eats in his room and puts his dishes outside the door. Myself and the kids are negative. But since finding out my husband has COVID we have been treated like we have all got COVID. My siblings child has spread it at school so my daughter is being treated like a social pariah there too. And my sibling refused to hand my daughter her birthday present outside in the drive, preferring to out it in the floor and take 4 metres back before she would allow my daughter to pick it up. Our kids used to go to school together in the car and we’d take it in turns, but she’s banned my kids from the car. We’ve always celebrated Halloween together but this year no invite.

Don’t get me wrong , I’m all for sensible precautions, but I’m just hurt at the way she has done it. Her reaction is just over the top to my mind. My kids have been in tears over it.

I’m trying hard not to take it personally but the reaction of my nearest and dearest has been so much more brutal than anyone else I know that I just feel hurt.

Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
xxxGirlCrushxxx · 31/10/2021 22:46

she has the right to put her family first and protect them as best she can.....how would you have liked her to get this point across then??

Stonerosie67 · 31/10/2021 22:49

I think she's right to maintain a distance and not want to come into close contact at the moment but she should be coming down on her daughter like a ton of bricks for spreading this round school, that's uncalled for and will make life tough for your daughter.

Chloemol · 31/10/2021 23:05

Your household has covid. So any sensible person would take these precautions

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 31/10/2021 23:09

Im a nurse - your family are not being OTT.

If only people knew what we in the NHS know, hear and see .

WorraLiberty · 31/10/2021 23:10

How is that different to you collecting your husband's dishes outside the door? Confused

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 31/10/2021 23:10

And in terms of putting it on the floor and taking steps back before the other moves forward to pick it up ... my sister and I have been doing that for 18 months no issue.

Lightswitch123 · 31/10/2021 23:13

Wow. Your sister sounds Halloween Shock

Is she over 70 / unwell / unvaccinated??

SickAndTiredAgain · 31/10/2021 23:14

@IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls

And in terms of putting it on the floor and taking steps back before the other moves forward to pick it up ... my sister and I have been doing that for 18 months no issue.
Seriously?
Original poster
Broken123 · 31/10/2021 23:15

I think a 2metre distance wound have sufficed rather than the 6 or 7 metres.

I think sending her son round to our house when he was off self isolating but then reacting like this is hypocritical.

A few people at work have had it and I was able to keep my distance and protect myself without making them feel like they had the plague.

I think it’s about sensible precautions not massive overreactions.

Knowing that my kids weren’t going out trick or treating she wanted to send her kids round to my house to knock on the door. All that would gave done is make my children feel even more isolated.

Can I just say I didn’t expect her to come in my house, hug me or kiss me but 6 or 7 metres distance and a refusal to hand my daughter her birthday present with both at arms length was a bit much.

OP posts:
Original poster
Broken123 · 31/10/2021 23:15

No. None of the above. All vaccinated.

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 31/10/2021 23:17

Do you really think that with covid in your household, your sisters kids should have celebrated halloween with yours as normal? I know 'the rules' say it's ok now but absolutely no way I'd be knowingly socialising with anyone who is a close contact with a confirmed positive covid case and I think most people would feel the same.

Lightswitch123 · 31/10/2021 23:18

I agree with you OP.

Some people just seem to worship at the covid altar and cannot seem to be rational about it.

Sorry your sister has fallen into that group. It's disappointing.

Original poster
Broken123 · 31/10/2021 23:20

Erm he has COVID I don’t. If I took her approach he’d have a chamber pot and a pulley system up to his window to deliver his meals. I take a more proportionate but sensible approach.

OP posts:
VeniVidiWeeWee · 31/10/2021 23:20

OP, this is Mumsnet. You need to paint a red cross on your door and never speak to anyone evermore.

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 31/10/2021 23:23

@Lightswitch123 you sound ignorant.

40% of the NHS have PTSD symptoms related to covid . Think on that - if some of us worship at the shrine of covid it's because there is a reason.

SickAndTiredAgain · 31/10/2021 23:23

@Broken123

I think a 2metre distance wound have sufficed rather than the 6 or 7 metres.

I think sending her son round to our house when he was off self isolating but then reacting like this is hypocritical.

A few people at work have had it and I was able to keep my distance and protect myself without making them feel like they had the plague.

I think it’s about sensible precautions not massive overreactions.

Knowing that my kids weren’t going out trick or treating she wanted to send her kids round to my house to knock on the door. All that would gave done is make my children feel even more isolated.

Can I just say I didn’t expect her to come in my house, hug me or kiss me but 6 or 7 metres distance and a refusal to hand my daughter her birthday present with both at arms length was a bit much.

She sounds hypocritical and annoying if she melodramatically presents a gift from 7m away but still wants her kids to come and trick or treat at your house. Did she want you to throw the sweets down the driveway? And sending her son round when he was self isolating? She can climb down off any sort of high horse for that.
VeniVidiWeeWee · 31/10/2021 23:31

@IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls

"40% of the NHS have PTSD symptoms related to covid . Think on that - if some of us worship at the shrine of covid it's because there is a reason."

Do you have a source for this figure please?

SickAndTiredAgain · 31/10/2021 23:36

[quote VeniVidiWeeWee]@IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls

"40% of the NHS have PTSD symptoms related to covid . Think on that - if some of us worship at the shrine of covid it's because there is a reason."

Do you have a source for this figure please?[/quote]
I read a study that said this, but it only looked at ICU staff. 40% of ICU staff met criteria for PTSD.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 31/10/2021 23:51

So that will be no definitive source then?

NeedAHoliday2021 · 01/11/2021 00:00

Dd1 has covid and is staying in her room (she’s a teen so living the dream) but although I’ve taken dc2&3 out to the country park with the dog in a wide open space, they’ve not seen friends other than on FaceTime. Seems sensible to me. Why risk it? You’re being way too sensitive imo - but I work in a hospital so I want to avoid catching it so I don’t leave my colleagues in the lurch for 10 days.

EarringsandLipstick · 01/11/2021 00:06

my sibling refused to hand my daughter her birthday present outside in the drive, preferring to out it in the floor and take 4 metres back before she would allow my daughter to pick it up.

That's bonkers. And some of the replies here are equally so.

Keeping their distance re Halloween invite & car journeys sounds reasonable however.

As you say, there's cautious without being over the top.

PixieLaLa · 01/11/2021 00:19

My kids have been in tears over it.

Now that’s an over reaction!
Your sibling is just being cautious and sensible, just like you are by isolating DH to certain rooms.

Summerfun54321 · 01/11/2021 00:22

But you don’t know if you’ve actually caught it from your DH until he’s out the other side of his isolation period. Just saying “he has it and I don’t have it” is way too simplified for an infectious virus. Much better to be cautious if you have covid in your household.

Hankunamatata · 01/11/2021 00:35

My kids currently have covid, me and dh are negative. We are all isolating for 10 days because we dont want anyone else to catch it. Not guidelines just being sensible.

Same way in 1 of my children tested postive and rest were negative but we all isolated as 2 days later everyone else tested postive. I could have sent them to school in those 2 days and infected the entire school but I didnt

Hankunamatata · 01/11/2021 00:38

And so many people are testing postive on day 8 pcr after close contact.