What can the police do about indirect harassment? Feeling very scared.

[Helpmeplease0]

Posting here for traffic, I know I should post in legal but get no traction.
My ex is subject to a non molestation order expiring next year..
There has been repeated breaches which led to it being extended for a further 6 months.. Now things are taking a sick and twisted turn.
My ex knows where my parents live, it's an empty property as my parents are currently abroad, however he would be aware that I would still go there from time to time to check on post, water plants etc..
A few weeks ago I found a blank "with sympathy" card in the post, I reported this to the police.. I went to my parents this weekend, the porch door is always locked, upon opening I immediately smelt alcohol and there was a puddle in the porch, it's like a bottle of vodka had been poured in the porch... My blood ran cold as my ex has made several threats to burn down places during his campaign of abuse towards me, former partners, colleagues etc etc.
I am now actually terrified he's going to kill me. I've ordered a ring doorbell to install at my parents. But now feel this is a really sick and sinister message that he's going to catch up with me.
What will the police do about this?, I'm terrified this is the lengths he's going to to terrorise me.

Op- I’m really sorry you are in such a scary situation. Have you spoken to Woman’s aid? I think they would probably give you the best advice.
And with your parents house, could someone else check on it? Like a neighbour or other relative? It sounds like you are finding it really difficult. If not, definitely get a ring doorbell or cctv so you can see if he is actually visiting the house. Hugs xxx

Thank you. I've called the police but still waiting for a call back from them.

You can ask for the police to install a panic alarm that will bring a car immediately as a priority to your house, you need to ask for him to be charged with stalking/intimidation- please collect as much evidence as you can in the meantime.
Install cameras around your property and your parents house for added security.
Inform your friends /family/work place immediately of the situation.
In my case it was escalated to Scotland Yard, as death threats are and should be taken seriously.
Plan your routes with others - change it daily and carry self defence sprays and other tools just in case - ask for a restraining order to be widened to include your parents house.
I would also get a competent and experienced solicitor involved.
Never ever assume he won’t do it, always assume the worst and protect yourself accordingly.
Get support, counselling and help.
Know one day he will move on or be put in prison, it is rare for these situations to continue for decades.

for you op

Can anyone else look after your parents place? I would also warn their neighbours, tou dont have to tell them the whole truth if you dont know them but ask them to look out for anything suspicious.

Sorry you're going through this

Rights of women are super helpful (as will your local DV agency be- maybe give them a call too)

rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/violence-against-women-and-international-law/domestic-violence-injunctions/#A%20non-molestation%20order

Here’s the relevant bit in a picture.

Could your parents ask local estate agents to check on their house? There would be a small fee but at least it would mean you wouldn't have to be there. It sounds really frightening and I hope the police really take this seriously.

Pay someone to look after the house. It’s a small price to pay for you to feel safe.

Might be an idea to get some additional CCTV as well as the ring door bell

Sorry this is happening but I dont think the police can do much.

I had a similar situation about 8 years ago. He was tormenting me,stalking,the works.

The police were no use. The usual ''we cant do anything to him til he physically does something to you'' It got so bad I was constantly ringing the police station and finally,being sick of my calls, one of the officers mentioned he knew I was in a long distance relationship (with plans to move there in a year or so) and basically told me ''if you want to be safe we suggest you move overseas'' I did. I get so fucking angry when I think back that that's the best they could do.

Put cameras up where you can op.

Vary your route back from your parents house. If he k own you go there and is potentially tracking when you do he may follow you home so he then k iws where you live. Ideally get someone else to do the checking for you though so you do not need to go near the place.

If you parents are abroad how much if a disruption to your life would it be to move there for 3/6/12 months? Would that put him off? Definitely get the cctv evidence and push for the further non- mol. Is there a more permanent option?

I can't move abroad as I share a child with the abuser. I reported the with sympathy card incident to the police and they immediately sent an officer to see me, they said they take death threats very seriously. I'm just so terrified of him, I really am.

Ring/Google doorbell, CCTV, "cocoon watch" (where the neighbours are made aware that this is happening and can look out for him, if you're happy for them to know of course). The police might help you install CCTV, it depends on the force. Evidentially it is hard to prove, but not impossible if you make use of those suggestions. If he gets arrested (is there a power of arrest attached to the non-mol?) then the police can seize his phone and have a look. This should be classed as stalking.

You poor thing, you have my utmost sympathy. I don't have any advice I'm afraid, just wanted to offer my support. It makes me so bloody angry that men can do this to us!

I'd get cctv that's not as obvious as well as a ring door cam. Definitely keep contacting the police about it and don't give up. Report everything

He's extremely deceptive, he always has been. He's got convictions for domestic abuse and harassment, he's got a conviction for bringing a knife out on someone during a fight also, but now as we're in the family court process he's being very indirect.. I've ordered a ring doorbell though. The neighbours have reported seeing him to the police also.. I genuinely feel threatened for my life and that one day he will kill me, I really do feel that. Its terrifying.

I'm sorry you're having to put up with all this Op, it must be very, very stressful. I think I'd stop worrying about your parent's house, I'm sure your safety is far more important to them.

Report everything to the Police and make sure you keep a log of everything for the courts, it should help to make them see he is a threat to you and your DC.I wish I could help more Op, what a shit of a man he is

Op you need to tell the police he is dangerous, and you are in genuine fear of your life. Ask them to check his record, and also make sure the daily courts know about his convictions. It’s really helpful that he has them for your case.
Once you have cctv footage the police will be in a far better position to proceed.

I would also contact your MP
If you are still getting nowhere you can contact your local papers - ask them to cover your story. The best thing you can do now is to make totes rig known, the more people know the better protection,

What can my local MP do?

The MP can apply pressure on the local police force to step up their efforts and protect you. It’s one call.

Broadcasting cases like this is a last resort but one most likely to get results.
You have every right to expect every possible effort is being made. Multiples breaches to an order should be now looking seriously at a suspended sentence or custody.
It’s not good enough op,

Tell your parents that you can no longer go to or keep an eye on their property

They should contact an estate agent or a trusted house sitter to do regular checks or live there

Your safety should be your priority

I have no advice OP but wanted to show some support. What an awful position for you to be in. Some good advice here already

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I'm a police officer and if this landed on my desk I'd be taking it very seriously. I can see that there would be a lot of evidential difficulties running this as a case, but if it was mine I'd still be initiating a load of safeguarding actions even if I thought I wouldn't be able to get a prosecution or even arrest.

Are the police going to fingerprint the card?

What is the wording on your non-mol? Is he attending your parent's place because it's not technically a breach? You can apply to have it varied. Even if it's not a breach, do you have any evidence it's him responsible for the card/alcohol through letter box? You mention your neighbours. If they confirmed that to me I'd be arresting him on a new allegation of stalking with fear of violence and seizing all his electronic devices (they can be checked for location as well as sending messages etc).

Police can help with placing extra security features on your house and CCTV if you're deemed high risk. They should be doing a specialised stalking risk assessment (not just the standard one for domestic abuse which doesn't always reflect the risk of stalking adequately). Ask them if it's not offered. Sadly, it would be doubtful that they would do this for your parent's house, however.

At your parent's house, consider a fireproof letter box or if you can't afford it, get a lockable postbox outside and seal the original letter box.

You can buy wireless 'spy' cameras for as little as £15 online if you want to dot a couple around on windows.

I don't want to alarm you but have you checked your car for tracking devices? Also, check your phone and change all your log-in details (don't newly block him though, unless he's already blocked by you, as this can spark an escalation in behaviour).

Download the Hollieguard app on your phone (it's on Google play or apple store).

Check out Paladin's website (advice on how to deal with stalking and harassment).

Don't let yourself be fobbed off and ask to speak to a supervisor if you feel your PC isn't responding quickly enough. Asking to speak to a supervisor isn't making a complaint so don't be worried about getting anyone into trouble unnecessarily.

Hope things get better.

@Resilience I've messaged you. X