Social media

[SaturdaySummer]

Hi
When my son was born, my husband created a what's app group for our parents so we could
Post photos and updates (son was very premature and so was in neonatal for weeks, no visitors except parents allowed due to covid)
This was working well and my mum said it was lovely to have so many updates etc and was appreciative that we were making time
To do this.

This was working well until a few weeks ago. My husband does not really have a relationship with his father and maybe sees him once a year in average despite living quite near to each other. My husband is fine with this and just wanted to make his dad feel included. I was happy to go along with having him in the group for this reason. However our son is now 4 months old and my father in law has only visited once but has posted my sons pictures on social media acting as a proud grandad despite not asking out permission to post. We do not have any pictures of our child on social media..... I have since stopped using the group and just text individually is this unreasonable?

You say he didn’t have your permission - but have you actively asked him not to do it?

Have you asked him to take down the pictures? Also you can ask e.g Facebook to remove pictures of children.

Report the photos. I did when SIL had the audacity to set her profile photo as a picture of my kids she never sees. It was removed the same day.

Depends whether you actively asked him not to post the pictures online and whether he's refused to take them down when he's asked.

I think if you're sharing them with family and haven't asked them to share them elsewhere they'd expect that you wouldn't mind.

However, I think anyone acting like the doting grandparent when they don't actually give a shit is a prick.

@authenticforgery

Report the photos. I did when SIL had the audacity to set her profile photo as a picture of my kids she never sees. It was removed the same day.

That's exactly what I have done

@WomanStanleyWoman

You say he didn’t have your permission - but have you actively asked him not to do it?

I hadn't explicitly asked him because everyone else had asked if they could share the pics with others. I think it's a real cheek when he has only seen our son once

@rrhuth

Have you asked him to take down the pictures? Also you can ask e.g Facebook to remove pictures of children.

I reported them so they will be taken down. I was furious

@RedskyThisNight

Depends whether you actively asked him not to post the pictures online and whether he's refused to take them down when he's asked.

Didn't ask him explicitly not to as everyone else had been respectful and asked. I thought it was really rude. I always ask anyone if they mind if I share photos with friends etc (in messages now on socials) and will ask permission from my friends if their kids are in the photos

@girlmom21

I think if you're sharing them with family and haven't asked them to share them elsewhere they'd expect that you wouldn't mind.

However, I think anyone acting like the doting grandparent when they don't actually give a shit is a prick.

Agreed thank you

He'll maybe have even less to do with your child now.

We don’t post any photos or updates regarding DD on social media - it’s should be her choice whether her images are put in the public domain when she’s old enough, not ours. However, we did tell grandparents etc that was our decision so they didn’t do it thinking it was OK. So really you need to tell people in advance.

I think surely give him one more chance
Ie tell him explicitly you don't want any photos of your child on social media and not to do it again.
Keep the group going and if it does happen again then reconsider but I shouldn't have thought it would happen again after this

YANBU. I will never understand why people think they have carte blanche to post pictures of other peoples kids on SM (and then feign shock/outrage when called on it). Bloody stupid.

@McJane

Why do you care? Are you on the set of a soap?

Why would I not care? It's our decision to not post on socials and that should be respected. Hardly makes me on the set of a soap. What a ridiculous comment

@Heartdogs

He'll maybe have even less to do with your child now.

It would be hard to notice

@Arbitan

We don’t post any photos or updates regarding DD on social media - it’s should be her choice whether her images are put in the public domain when she’s old enough, not ours. However, we did tell grandparents etc that was our decision so they didn’t do it thinking it was OK. So really you need to tell people in advance.

The granny's have been fine with it and honestly they both asked before they shared them with others so it hadn't even crossed my mind to say anything

@TrussOnABus

YANBU. I will never understand why people think they have carte blanche to post pictures of other peoples kids on SM (and then feign shock/outrage when called on it). Bloody stupid.

Thank you!!! I would never do that as I honestly consider it to be common courtesy. Quite shocked to see a lot of people on here saying I should have made it clear I didn't want the photos shared. I honestly just took it for granted that people would have better manners