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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To address this constant snacking?

88 replies

coffeerevelsrock · 31/10/2021 12:49

I'm just trying to get a picture of what is normal as I really don't know whether I'm being UR or not.

I've just gone to the cupboard and seen that pretty much all the bars bought for this week's pack lunches have been eaten. This is the final straw in the issue I have with the way my sons (12 & 14) snack. It's constant - in and out of the cupboard or fridge. This week is worse than normal as we were away last week so I did a shop on Friday and then we've been in most of the time since hence it's nearly all gone. Normally I shop on a Sunday and then they're at school but even then often we've run out by Wednesday.

We are talking about a packet of Seals (Aldi penguins), 8 Aldi chocolate crepes, a box of cereal bars, numerous cracker/breadstick type things (would be no good for lunches anyway), punnet of raspberries, blueberries and tomatoes, a few sausage rolls and some picnic eggs - whole box. It's also not unusual for them to eat extra bowls of cereal - weetabix or shredded wheats or make bowls of porridge, using up all the sodding milk. They've also had a malt loaf and a few bagels as well.

Obviously, I don't want them to be hungry, but isn't this ridiculous? Both are on the skinny side - ds2 was recently weighed/measured and was just above underweight on the NHs thing so normal BMI but right at the lower end of the scale. Ds1 was similar when he was done but that was about 4 years ago. Both wear clothes for their ages, though ds1 needs adult trousers but has to wear a belt if the waist isn't adjustable. Neither has any fillings.

Ds1 eats all meals and finishes everything - without fail, and he is the worst culprit when it comes to snacking. Ds2 has been known to leave quite a bit of his meal and I notice when we're away that he's far less likely to do so - presumably because he's not snacking all bloody day.

Aside from the cost, it's the inconvenience. I'm a lp and work full time and have to work at home in the evenings, so I really don't want to be nipping out to get top-ups for lunches midweek. But maybe they need it and I should just buy more. The thing is, I feel whatever I buy they will eat within days as I have sort of tried this and notice that pretty much however much I buy they eat!

AIBU or does anyone have any suggestions?

OP posts:

Original poster

coffeerevelsrock · 31/10/2021 12:51

Aargh - meant to add they are at their dad's 4 days a fortnight (1 day one week and 3 the other) and I have asked if they do it there and they say no as he never has anything in! Sometimes I have even given them stuff to take there ti add to packed lunches as he only does a sandwich and a piece of fruit. Don't know if this is having an impact.

OP posts:

Hawkins001 · 31/10/2021 12:52

I'll admit, I'm similar usually when making a cuppa and I'm peckish, some times I'll make a sandwich other times I'll have some biscuits, or a kipling pie ect, I'd say could you hide the essentials for the week but have a general supply in the cupboard ?

Hothammock · 31/10/2021 12:54

Hahaah this sounds like my house. They are Hoovers at this age.
I hide the lunch stuff (ongoing battle of deception in its own right) and allow access to snacks including yogurts, crackers and soft cheese, toast, fruit, and boiled eggs. They like that and it lasts a few weeks until I throw something else into the mix such as belvitas or other snack bars.
It's a tough balance as their metabolisms are so high they do need the calories but I don't want them developing bad habits either.

Tailendofsummer · 31/10/2021 12:54

I leave food I don't want my 14 year old to eat in the boot of my car. He could eat constantly. I'm assuming he needs to, as is tall and skinny. I try to make sure there is healthier food out.

Anordinarymum · 31/10/2021 12:55

Easy OP. It's because it is all there for the taking. Hide some of it and drip feed it into the cupboard. They sound normal to me if not a bit greedy but if there are no boundaries then they will take all and leave nothing

SuperSleepyBaby · 31/10/2021 12:57

Hide the lunch things!

I often give mine apples or carrot sticks when they are watching TV and they mindlessly eat it.

If they are eating for the sake of it i say they have to have a big bowl of porridge before they get anything else! That usually kills their appetite for a while.

Also, i sometimes give my 12 year old chewing gum and he forgets about eating for a while!

Ifkip · 31/10/2021 12:57

Hide the expensive lunch stuff. And leave a loaf of bread out. They can snack on toast and butter.

NuffSaidSam · 31/10/2021 12:57

I think it's normal with teenagers.

Look at increasing protein in meals and snacks to fill them up for longer. Carrot sticks with peanut butter to dip and apple with cheese is going to be much better than 8 aldi penguins for example.

But also, they're old enough to understand what they can/can't have so explain what they can snack on and what they can't, what they need to leave/what needs to last the week etc.

I don't think the snacking itself is unreasonable, it's more what they're snacking on and when, but just have a conversation with them.

SeasonalNamechange · 31/10/2021 12:57

They are in a hunger loop because they are just filling up on sugar..... they need protein to fill them

Also, they are likely bored

NuffSaidSam · 31/10/2021 12:59

Unless they have SN/eating disorders you don't need to hide the food, just tell them not to eat it!

Mycatismadeofstringcheese · 31/10/2021 13:00

Do they make their own packed lunches?

I would buy a set amount of snacks for the week and if they eat them all, then they go without for the rest of the week. Maybe a lockable box each so they. Any steal each other’s. If they want more snacks they have to pay for them out if their own money.

Maybe have less instant gratification things in the house. If they want cereal they need to cook porridge. If they want sausage rolls, have sausage meat and pasty in freezer but they’d need to make their own. Have dried rice and lentils on hand. They probably won’t because it’s not easy and instant.

A pain for you. But if you provide an endless supply of easy carbs, they’ll eat those.

BogRollBOGOF · 31/10/2021 13:00

They probably are genuinely ravenous at that age. Is it worth encouraging something like beans on toast as an extra light meal that will fill them better than grazing that doesn't really satisfy hunger.

Original poster

coffeerevelsrock · 31/10/2021 13:01

I did try hiding stuff but they found it! Also, unpacking the shopping is one of their chores...but I may need to rethink that and get more creative with storage.

Agree about the sugar - I was one of those mums who never gave any sweets/chocolate until they started school and have gradually eased up to the point of almost giving up. I do need to get better snacks in for a start.

OP posts:

Firesidefox · 31/10/2021 13:01

My boys the same ages do exactly this. They appear to be starving all the time.

Nellesbelles · 31/10/2021 13:04

I look after 4 teenage boys and this is definitely normal 🤣 it's not unreasonable to restrict the snacking though. We give the boys a snack box each and they can choose 5 snacks at the start of the day to put in their box. Once they're gone, they're gone and they know that. The rest are in a cupboard they don't have access to but they do have access to as much fruit/veg as they like. This might be overly structured for your home but something similar might work 🤷‍♀️

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 31/10/2021 13:05

This is stuff for their packed lunches, right? So you can point out that when it's gone, it's gone and they will be stuck with whatever they have as the main element of their lunch, and just toast for snacks at home. Or are the eaten items meant to be for other kids in the family?

Etinoxaurus · 31/10/2021 13:06

If they’re underweight or normal you shouldn’t be restricting their food. What you can do is tell them not to eat the packed lunch food and tell them how to make cheaper healthier food. Omelettes and macaroni cheese for eg. Having to make that extra effort might break the bored snacking element.

WorraLiberty · 31/10/2021 13:07

I think it's laziness, which lots of us are guilty of.

It's easier to grab a ready made snack than to make themselves scrambled egg/cheese on toast/beans on toast etc.

I'd cut out the snacks and stock up on more of that sort of thing. If they can't be bothered to cook for themselves, they can't be that hungry.

Get strict about the packed lunch stuff. Tell them its out of bounds and make sure there are consequences if they ignore that.

If they want any ready made snacks, they can use their own money to buy them.

Shoxfordian · 31/10/2021 13:07

Don’t buy anything to replace it so they’ll have less for their packed lunches

ChrissyPlummer · 31/10/2021 13:07

I’d get them to walk to the shop and replace things you all want/need like milk. If they choose to eat the things they know are for their packed lunches then once it’s gone, it’s gone!

PlanDeRaccordement · 31/10/2021 13:08

Lol. I have raised two DSs and they are like a plague of locusts at this age. I think that because they are low BMI/skinny, then the issue is not enough food rather than too much snacking.

What I did in your situation with food earmarked for packed lunches or upcoming dinners, is I communicated that to them constantly. Don’t eat x, don’t eat y. I also bought in extra by asking if they had any requests when doing the food shop.

They often STILL ate through everything like a pack of ravenous wolves. So I left my debit card on the hall table, told them my PIN and said if you’re hungry and nothing left in the house but off limits food....take my card and go to local shop and buy whatever you want/need no questions asked. They were very nice about this and would usually let me know and ask if I wanted them to pick up anything while out.

WorraLiberty · 31/10/2021 13:08

@coffeerevelsrock

I did try hiding stuff but they found it! Also, unpacking the shopping is one of their chores...but I may need to rethink that and get more creative with storage.

I did try hiding stuff but they found it! Also, unpacking the shopping is one of their chores...but I may need to rethink that and get more creative with storage.

No-one should be forced to hide food in their own house. That's not on and needs addressing.

Mycatismadeofstringcheese · 31/10/2021 13:11

Not sure if your school does food at lunch time but could it work out cheaper for them to have school dinners? Less money spent on packed lunch snacks which all adds up and less effort stress for you.

Fneep · 31/10/2021 13:13

What helped with my big greedy teenagers was having a big vat of soup on the go at all times. Either in the slow cooker for immediate access as sometimes as you know a teenager could just starve to death in the time it makes to make a sandwich, or just pots in the fridge to reheat in microwave if slow cooker was in use for dinner.
A slow cooker is a must in a teenage household.

fruitpastille · 31/10/2021 13:13

I've got a box of snacks that are strictly for packed lunches or picnics and I put enough for everyone to have 1 or 2 each day for a week in there. They know those aren't allowed at home so we have enough for school days. The rest is in the cupboard. DH is the worst offender to be honest, the teens are reasonably moderate. I do hide a little bit of chocolate or a couple of bags of crisps for me to have when the rest are gone. Everyone knows where my 'hiding' place is but they wouldn't dare eat any of it!

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