My daughter is 19, in uni but still lives at home (her choice) I and my husband had her when we were young.
Our daughter doesn’t drink, smoke (very pleased she doesn't tbh) or socialise at all. She has a boyfriend her age who she has been with for 2 years. No issues there and they do lots of outings etc together and he still lives at home with his parents too.
I’m quite sociable, always had a group of friends and had nights out (and nights in) with friends.
My daughter can be quite nosy when I’m on the phone or having a conversation with my friends. She often finds an excuse to come in the room where I’m having a conversation, she hangs around until I’ve finished on the phone (or they’ve gone home) then goes back to her room/what she was doing. She will ask what we talked about after as she only catches my side of the conversation. I tell her limited info as it’s usually quite boring.
She is very judgmental about my friend's activities, she follows a few on social media (I’m not on any social media) and will often comment to me if she thinks my friends were drunk or out the night before as they had posted a photo or story. These are just silly little instances (there are so many more). I have described living with her like walking on eggshells before.
My daughter is also super sensitive and any negative comment or slight against her offends her desperately, especially when I’ve been defensive about her actions regarding this controlling behaviour. I come away feeling the worst person in the world but will defend her to the ends of the earth to everyone else.
Tonight was suffocating, I had a half-term trip out with my youngest, another mum and her children.
We had the day out then dinner in a restaurant before heading home. Her children asked to come back to mine for an hour to play on the computer together. All fine.
My daughter was out walking the dog but when she came home she had a face like thunder that I had dared bring people back (it was 8 pm) she didn’t even say hello to me. My friend even went ‘oh no, should we leave?’ due to my daughter's reaction.
My daughter then sat on the sofa the whole time my friend was here…she usually spends every evening having a long bath, watching tv in her room etc. I just felt I was being watched and I felt uncomfortable. Which is madness because it’s my bloody daughter. It was like she was glued to the sofa. This happens every time I have a friend round and it’s so bloody draining.
It’s awful to admit but on the one night she spent away from this house in over two years I felt relieved.
I don’t know if this is normal to feel like she has outgrown “the nest” she won’t be leaving home anytime soon and apart from never coming home with friends or never taking on the phone again, I can’t see a solution.