Upstairs neighbours are really noisy.

[BeaAndTiscuits]

Recently moved into a ground floor flat with my 3YO DD. Up until now we've been staying at my mum's in a top floor property, so while we are not used to the noise as such, I had prepared myself for there to be noise.
We moved in at the beginning of the month and haven't really met any of our neighbours but have passed some people in the stairway and said hi etc. There is a family living above me and they have at least 2 children, maybe 3. One of the kids is younger than my DD and the others are older. I totally understand that you cannot keep children quiet and I'm very understanding towards other parents on general. Also I have a routine with my DD where she sleeps 7-7 at night and I totally understand that not everyone follows a routine, my brother's family don't have a routine either. I don't want to make enemies with my neighbours and I also don't really like this type of confrontation but I feel like they're just a little unreasonable with their noise.
Tonight, it's 21:10 and it sounds as thought the kids are playing basketball.
Almost every night, I assume the youngest child, is running back and forth the rooms between 11pm and midnight, sometimes it sounds like they're jumping on a pogo stick, sometimes you can hear them bouncing a ball and other times it sounds like they're throwing things.
I hear their footsteps, almost sounds like they're stamping their feet, but I know this is probably just their normal walking so it's not what bothers me, but the kids playing until midnight really does. The other night it actually lasted until half past midnight, and also they have been hoovering around 11pm a few times.
I've tried to get an early night every night this week but the noise keeps me up, which isn't ideal obviously. Fortunately, it's not affecting my DD's sleep right now. How do I go about this? do I suck it up and just try to live with it? I was hoping to bump into them and maybe just make a jokey comment about the little one running around but i never seem to see them out.
They've also rang my buzzer twice after 10pm for entry into the building as they've left their keys (this way before the noise started to get bad) which is annoying as the intercoms sound is horrendous, it almost gives me a heart attack every time. I want to say something but if they get defensive I know I won't be able to stay "friendly" so I need a plan of what to do, if there's anything I can do.

Anyway, sorry for the rant but any help would be appreciated!

Can't you turn off the buzzer? I would definitely have a word/put a note through, but after half term as hopefully they're only up late for this reason?

@TotallySuper yes! I just forget, it's currently on silent now! I live in Scotland so the school holidays are over and the kids have been back to school for the last week I never said anything the week before for this reason.

I would definitely have a word but be prepared to consider moving as this probably won't stop. I could never live in a flat again for this reason.

If you rent, just move when you can.

You can go up and ask them to be quiet but at the end of the day, they're not going to make massive changes to their lifestyle just because it mildly inconveniences you.

I'd not respond on the buzzer if they do it again. If you keep letting them in they will keep buzzing!

Honestly? Move.

We live opposite noisy neighbours and in absolute desperation a few weeks ago, I shouted out the window at 6.30am when yet again their dogs were barking in the garden. It's made fuck all difference and DH and I have both agreed to househunt seriously. I just can't tolerate another summer of it - thankfully it's now that time of year to have the doors and windows closed. Living with noise that you have no control over literally can send you insane. You can fight it, take the higher ground but ultimately you're always on edge waiting for the next explosion. Life's really too short.

You’re probably going to get a lot of people say tough luck, move, and a fair amount of noise is to be expected - like footsteps, talking, music at sensible hours etc. But they’re going far beyond this. Write them a friendly note and ask for them to be quieter at night as you have a little one. Suggest if their child wakes up around midnight that they could try reading/quieter games/ even tv! You’re really not being unreasonable to expect no ball games inside at midnight!! My lovely ex upstairs neighbours were loud too. I would never hear the man, but the woman cackled and stomped around like anything! Such a loud voice and heavy footed. She wasn’t even big, just a stamper! I found it really stressful and did move, even though that really wasn’t her fault.

Thanks to those who have replied.

Moving isn't really an option right now, it took me a long time to get a flat as I'm a single mum and finding a flat to rent here for the price I managed to get it was pure luck. Finding a house in this city is basically impossible. Top floor flat may be more realistic though.

I think I will try a friendly note. I feel a bit uncomfortable as I've only been living here for 4 weeks, but maybe they don't realise how much noise they make? I don't know how long the flat was empty for before I moved in, so maybe they just got used to being able to make noise.
I'll see how the note goes and take it from there. I really like the flat and would prefer not to move obviously, but I guess it's either that or stop moaning about the noise! Thanks for the help!

I think you need to tell them. A child running above your head for hours is unacceptable and I was raised in flats. You will be able to tell from their tone whether they didnt know or not.

I also think you need to tell them. I lived in a ground floor flat when my son was a baby and the people upstairs decided to put wood flooring down. The noise was awful. I moved out in the end .

Carpets should be mandatory in flats! I grew up in a flat, always had to take my outdoor shoes off indoors, and no running or jumping. Consideration of neighbours was expected. Sadly some people have either no awareness or just don’t care.

Unfortunately people want laminate or wood flooring, which adds to the noise issue if soundproofing isn’t top notch. I worked in social housing neighbour and noise was one of the biggest issues. I hope the neighbours take your concerns on board about night time noise, very stressful when sleep is affected.

Definitely tell them. However, I'd invest in a pair of good quality silencer headphones. Buy the best you can afford. So worth it if you can do find the money as they can be a few hundred pounds. And worth trying in the shop . I have same issue with TV on, family stomping around in my own home and I can hear from my bedroom. I put the silence headphones and it's like sleeping in bliss. Would be cheaper than moving.

It sounds like the don't have carpet? I thought most blocks of flats required occupants to have carpets or thick floor rugs. Can you check at all?
If the noise is bad, have a chat with them. I know you want harmonious living but it isn't harmonious if you're being driven mad by their kids jumping around

Do not offer parenting advice like the pp suggested!! It will not go down well at all!

I live in a flat (first floor) with my 2 dds (2&4), upstairs have children slightly older and this sort of noise is the norm. It probably sounds like they're playing games etc when they're just awake (you say there's possibly 3? Is she a single mum?). It might be that she's trying her hardest to settle them, or having a tough time managing all?

You've not met them yet, it might just be a half term thing- I didn't expect the noise to be as loud as it is from upstairs when I moved in either, but I'm sort of used to it now, I also have alot more compassion as my two can be really difficult to settle at times aswell.

It might be when you meet her that she'll immediately say something along the lines of 'I really hope we don't make to much noise'?...

Wait until you meet until you post a letter or confront, you've only been there 4 weeks and planning on staying I'd not be wanting to introduce myself with a complaint.

(They might also be arsey about it and escalate! Worse case scenario but I've seen it happen in my block!)

The headphones are a good shout! I'll check them out, thank you @CookieDoughKid

@Creepypastard I wasn't planning on the parenting advice, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that at all . She's not a single parent, the father is living there also! But I don't know the situation, maybe he's at work alot or until late, he was one of the culprits that rang my buzzer late at night. I totally understand that managing kids is hard, I also worked in Greece and Turkey and know that different cultures raise kids differently. In turkey, kids don't seem to have a set bedtime and are awake til late, the family above have a broken English accent which I heard when I answered the buzzer to them, so It could also be that. I love in Scotland so the half term has already finished and kids have been back to school for a week.
My initial plan was to wait until I pass them in the stairs, but they only seem to be out later when I'm in for the night.
I'll wait a little longer and hope I bump into them, it's a nice flat and a ideal area for me, so I don't want to do anything that would make living here difficult.

@BeaAndTiscuits I think your going about it the right way.

As for the buzzer, im totally with you! Have you got an off switch or can you switch it to a lower volume? Unless I'm expecting a delivery I turn it off, friends and family text or phone for me to buzz in.

It drove me mad when I first moved in! Everyone from neighbours locked out, deliveries for other flats, randoms! I had a chat with one of the other neighbours and we put a note on the front door, also a policy/safety note not to buzz anyone in who wasn't known to you.

Its one of those things that if you buzz someone in once (and there's always a few) who haven't got a key they'll keep buzzing you as their 'go to' entry!