To ask how to deal with overwhelm

[stressysal]

I'm 16 weeks pregnant. Already have a dc10. Very nervous about going back to the baby years again! Feel very out of practice. Also we need to move house ideally before baby arrives as dh, dc our animals and I have struggled for space in our current home for a while already and a new baby and all it's stuff is just not going to work in this house.

We have found the perfect house and had a mortgage approved but I'm so anxious about something going wrong, the sellers changing their mind or the whole thing falling through. Will also need to sell current house which will mean massive upheaval, cleaning, getting rid of years worth of accumulated shit. Moving (if it goes ahead) is likely to happen when I'm heavily pregnant and baby is imminent. I'm so stressed about it all.

I know stress isn't good for me or the baby but I can't seem to help it. I feel utterly overwhelmed with how much I have to do. I know I'm not the first person to move house while pregnant but it just feels like so much is happening and we are working to time frames that might not be met. The bank are pissing around a lot and everything is so uncertain. I keep waking up in the night and feeling breathless. How can I manage this stress and worry sensibly?

Bump

Mind, Action for happiness, NHS have lots of resources you could try :)
Some people find the Calm app helpful if waking in the night feeling panicked.
Hope these feelings ease soon.

Can you make some lists of the things you, your partner and child can start to tackle now to make move easier when it happens? Declutter/ organise a drawer / cupboard a day? Deep clean an area? Use up packaged food/ freezer stash?
At night have a pad so you can write down whatever you are worrying about, then you can add it to the plan.

In addition be proactive about your mental health- take a walk, see the sky, read, eat well, etc- whatever makes you feel better.

CBT for techniques for calming down?

I’m sure you’ll get loads of good advice here about managing the stress, because it’s really unpleasant to live with isn’t it, as if pregnancy wasn’t enough on your plate.

So I had just one thing to add, don’t worry about your baby. Moving house etc and all that uncertainty is definitely stressful, but my understanding is it’s not the kind of stress that will hurt baby, that would be more eg fleeing from war zones. Babies in the womb are pretty resilient.

Yes lists are good.

So much paperwork already. My house needs lots of little odd jobs doing and a massive declutter before I can even think about listing it. The house we want is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'm frightened something will go wrong. My day job is really busy too, I just feel like there's so much happening and often my default response is to bury my head and not do anything!

Take a few days out from life and hire a skip. Decluttering a whole house is stressful so be organised and ruthless. Once you’ve got the place listed try to organise a viewing day so you don’t have to keep getting the house showcase ready.

Firstly though sit down and share how you’re feeling with DH. Hopefully he will look at the lists and take on at least his share (or more) at which point you mentally forget them.

Good luck.

Are you in a financial position to buy in some help. Getting in an organiser and /or paying for a deep clean.

If not then write down all the jobs and break them down. e.g. If you chuck out 10 unneeded items a day you will shift 300 things in a month. Make a rule that from today everything has to be put back at the end of the day.

Remember you are not responsible for everything. Let others take part of the burden.

I find audiobooks help me relax. Download something funny or happy and listen before you go to bed.