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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask Mil to put her potty in the bin..

39 replies

worzsel · 11/12/2007 18:58

DD's almost 3 and has been toilet trained for 3 or 4 months. We had a potty but i've never used it dd's always used the toilet and we have a downstairs one so it's no inconvienece.

Whenever dd comes back from Mils she wants to use the potty as mil has it in her lounge. They don't have a downstairs wc but dd's pretty on the ball and knows when she wants to go and will take herself.

I cant see why she cant just take her to the loo, surely making her use a potty is just keeping her back a bit as she's so good at using the toilet. I dont see why anyone, toddlers included should be pooing in the lounge when fully capable of using the toilet. its just lazy.

Would it be wrong of me to ask mil not to use the potty anymore even though its her house and dd does stay over there a couple of times a month while i'm at work.

i know this can be a bit ranty.. mils are such a pain in the arse.

god there's somethin else too just to and on the end to vent my annoyance.. yesterday when i phoned to see how dd was mil was like she doesnt want to speak to you and she doesnt want to come home.. she said that again earlier on when she dropped her off.. muls always like monopolising her when she's around, it had got a bit better but i think she's feeling insecure as she say how dd was with my mum and dad last week and was a bit put out that dd was the same with them as she is with her.. i think she likes to feel special.

moan moan moan.

anyone want a mil for christmas ?

OP posts:

bozza · 11/12/2007 21:54

Actually Ernest I did spot some capri sun in MILs cupboard last visit. Maybe our MILs came from the same mould? Either that or FIL got the capri-sun as freebie samples from work.

5GoldenFIMBOs · 11/12/2007 21:54

Oh dear, I read the thread title and thought the Mil had some sort of toileting problem and was using a potty...........

If it bothers you so much, can't you accidently misplace the potty next time you are round at hers?

coldtits · 11/12/2007 21:55

I think, in the grand scheme,`this doesn't matter a bit. It really doesn't. YOur daughter can use the toilet, so there you go - nursery sorted. For the free childcare I'd allow a grandma to let my kids live on Haribo and spaghetti hoops and draw on themselves with felt tip pen! It's worth it!

LittleSleighBellasRinging · 11/12/2007 21:58

Re the not going upstairs thing - could this be because it is a bit of an effort for her? Is she arthritic or something like that? You'd be surprised how difficult stairs can be if you have something like arthritis and sometimes people don't want to say this because they're scared of being considered past it.

VanillaPumpkin · 11/12/2007 22:02

Goodness you are LUCKY to have your MIL around to help you out. Mine would love to but we live too far away. Is it really a big deal? DD uses the potty at your MIL's so she has to clean it out not you. My dd2 uses the toilet and the potty. So what? They can use the toilet and will when that is the option.
It is easier for your MIL to use the potty downstairs so let her get on with it. It won't be damaging your child. She is her granddaughter and you are lucky to have someone care for your child who loves her as much as you do. IMO.

ernest · 11/12/2007 22:03

or maybe she just can't be arsed? Even a 55 year old can find little kids tiring (bloody hell, I'm a lot younger than that and I do!)

If the potty meant she suddenly was totally unable to use the toilet that's one thing, but that isn't the case.

Relax. go with the flow. dd can cope.

bozza, the bear 'ham' is worryingl familiar hink it was a one off though. She only got to have them 2 or 3 times a year and went into over excitied nanny overdrive, bless her.

coby · 11/12/2007 22:04

hmmm..good point, plus all the lifting on and off the loo.

Genuine question re Fruit shoots - what is so bad about them???? I Don't give them to my DCs - they only have water from a holy well in glastonbury which has been filtered through organic bamboo fabric etc etc...aren't fruit shoots the same as normal squash but just given through a spout to aid tooth decay - or is that the problem?

VanillaPumpkin · 11/12/2007 22:05

We have a downstairs loo but if we didn't I would def have a potty downstairs. My children are always needing to go and I would get annoyed doing the stairs that often tbh when I am cooking or washing up or doing downstairs stuff.
YABU.

bozza · 11/12/2007 22:09

I'm not sure really coby. I do buy them for my two when we are out and about, but frown on the idea of having a cupboard full of them at home like MIL. But I also sometimes put squash in a sports bottle which is similar, is it not? At home my children have a choice of water, milk (DD sometimes drinks this, but DS never), orange/apple/cranberry juices and full sugar hi juice blackcurrant or orange squash. They are not allowed squash or cranberry juice at breakfast time.

coby · 11/12/2007 22:18

bozza - glad it's not just me who doesn't know then . The used bottles are very good for carrying water in when out and about though.

I'm not knocking squash though by any means. DD2 very ill today and that is all she would drink so glad I had some in (been trying to cut back on amount of squash consumed of late - with much resistance from little ones )

LyraSilvertinsel · 11/12/2007 22:28

YABU. If she doesn't have a downstairs loo, it's understandable that she can't be bothered running up and down the stairs every time your DD wants a wee.
It's really not going to do her any harm and it won't make her regress. She's just finding it a bit of a novelty.

maisiemog · 11/12/2007 22:34

I honestly don't think that using the potty will regress your DD, and it is only a couple of time a month.
My little boy is now just over three, but he can switch between the two pretty seamlessly.
He still does use a potty at night some of the time because I keep a potty seat in the bedroom at night for various reasons.
However, the bulk of the time, he uses the loo and I haven't noticed any confusion at all or regression to using the potty exclusively.
In time your DD will probably insist on using the toilet anyway, so your MIL is likely to have to ditch the potty.
I can't see how using the potty is particularly time-saving, as others have pointed-out, you still need to carry the potty to the loo and clean it out.
However, if you do think that using the potty is having a negative impact on your DD's progression then I can't imagine your MIL would actually refuse to get rid.
I hope you manage to resolves this because things like this can fester
Just a thought, could you provide a step and toilet seat insert for your DD to use when at your MIL's, to save her back (if that is an issue)?

unknownrebelbang · 11/12/2007 22:37

It's not a big deal really is it?

Wish I still had a Mum or MIL to whinge about. They both doted on my children even if they both did things that irritated me at the time.

maisiemog · 11/12/2007 22:42

Sorry I forgot to say the 'not wanting to come home' thing is a bit sad really. I can imagine how irritating it can be though, if it is on a regular basis.
Could you make a joke of it and suggest that you bring over your DD's clothes so she can move in at your MIL's? Or even pander to your MIL's obvious (IMO) insecurity by saying, [well I'm not surprised she wants to stay there longer because you are such a lovely granny', or something along those lines?
Let us know how you get on.

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