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Original poster

Should I change my first name at 31?

31 replies

Blake91 · 30/10/2021 13:48

Hi there, I've been thinking of changing my first name for the past couple of years. I have a name picked out that I would choose but am worried about how others will react, especially present or past work colleagues I might bump into. I'm a 31 year old male living in London and am worried I might be ridiculed? I'd feel very awkward if I bumped into people I know or who know me. I don't have a middle name so can't go by that. I don't like my name because it makes me feel uneasy when people call me by it, it just doesn't feel right. I'm really split with what to do. Any opinions would be great. Thank you.

OP posts:
SoniaFouler · 30/10/2021 13:49

Is that you Pax?

FrankGrillosFloof · 30/10/2021 13:50

I don’t think you should worry about anyone else and just do what makes you happy. I’d personally have nothing but admiration for you and be pleased that you’re changing something you don’t like. Go for it and be proud!

TwinklyBranch · 30/10/2021 13:52

@SoniaFouler

Is that you Pax?
Has to be! Grin
Gormless · 30/10/2021 13:54

I know someone who did that in his 20s. Took a little getting used to (and remembering!) but it was very soon old news and it was as if he’d always been called by his ‘new’, chosen name. Go for it! You only get one life.

BetsyBigNose · 30/10/2021 15:05

I worked with a lady who changed both her forename and surname when she got divorced; she said she "wanted a properly, fresh start".

She just sent a quick email round to everyone; "Just to let you know, from next Monday 1st November my name will be changing to *Susan Smith. My email address will be amended to reflect this change and I would be grateful for your support in using my new name going forward. Many thanks..."

It was the subject of a couple of conversations for a few days (mostly people thinking about what they'd change their name to), but everyone respected her decision and used her new name. There were a few slips, as is to be expected, but I know that she was very happy with her new name and how well the change had been received at work. I can't comment on how it went down with her friends and family etc. though.

I think the fact that you say your current name makes you feel "uneasy" is a strong indication that you should go ahead and make the change!

(*not her real name)

Stripey3000 · 30/10/2021 15:35

I changed my first name when I was about 35, but I only did it at work...which gets confusing in real life Halloween Grin No regrets though! Do it! Life really is too short to worry about what other people think, if this will make you feel more like yourself.

Rety · 30/10/2021 15:35

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4387762-Name-Change Poster with similar situation as you yesterday if you want to read. I changed my name, it's not that much stress, if I bump into people I just say oh I changed my name to x, never had any drama and if they ask just explain you didn't like it.

hibye123 · 30/10/2021 15:38

@SoniaFouler

Is that you Pax?
Was thinking the same thing😂
Shasha17 · 30/10/2021 15:40

Someone I know changed their name and everyone adjusted SO well and so fast to the point where I struggle to remember their original name occasionally Blush

Theuniverseandeverything · 30/10/2021 15:47

I know a lad who changed his name when he left school at 18. I just thought Good on you as his name was quite unpleasant sounding. People did seem to accept it.

iNeedAteaPlease · 30/10/2021 15:49

Is that you Patrick aka Pax?

Snowdropsandbluebells · 30/10/2021 15:52

Yo PaxGrin

M0rT · 30/10/2021 15:56

Go for it! If it will make you happy don't waste anymore time.
It's pretty common for people who had nicknames in childhood/teens to have different names in work and at home.
I have known people for 20 years that I have to think about their real names if I meet someone who only knows them in adulthood, and people I work with who are called a completely different name by their family and childhood friends.
I also work with people from different countries who use surnames as first names, anglicised versions of their names and some who just picked a name they liked and used that because they got sick of their name being mispronounced.
So you wouldn't be that unusual.

toots111 · 30/10/2021 15:56

What is this pax thing?

Doublechins · 30/10/2021 15:59

@SoniaFouler

Is that you Pax?
😂😂😂😂
Thatwaslulu · 30/10/2021 16:05

My SIL changed her first name at 40 after divorcing her abusive husband. She felt that her old name linked her to her past and wanted a change for her new life. The change wasn't massively different (eg Emma to Emilia) but she has gone by that ever since. The only people who don't call her by the new name are her siblings, but then they always use the full version of each other's names (Rebecca instead of Becky, Lawrence not Loz sort of thing). She just went in to work, told her colleagues and HR that she had changed the name, and that was that.

PooWillyNameChange · 30/10/2021 16:07

@SoniaFouler

Is that you Pax?
That was exactly what I thought !!
TotallySuper · 30/10/2021 16:08

Yo Pax, welcome back mate.

Userguaranteed · 30/10/2021 16:39

@SoniaFouler

Is that you Pax?
My exact question.Grin
Sh05 · 30/10/2021 16:45

I'm 41, have been considering changing my name recently.
It was something I always wanted to do as.a teen but wasn't allowed and now I'm thinking about it more and more.
Do you have a completely different name in mind?
I think if you are so then go for it.

clpsmum · 30/10/2021 16:47

Yea do it xx

WhereYouLeftIt · 30/10/2021 17:03

@toots111

What is this pax thing?
I'd like to know too, this is going completely over my head.

On a different note, had a friend try to change her name as we moved from school to college, so only her close friends would know her old name. About a year later she decided to go back to it, it was more difficult than she though; it was just too embedded (hesitating when asked your name, introduce yourself with the old name etc.).

Userguaranteed · 30/10/2021 17:16

If you want to know about Pax.

Start here. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4387762-Name-Change

Then go here. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4387813-Making-up-a-new-nickname-for-myself

Starseeking · 30/10/2021 17:25

A friend I went to secondary school with changed her name when she started uni.

All she did was switch her middle name and first names around, as she said she'd always preferred her middle name.

Only those of us who knew her before 18 even remember the old name, but we always call her by the new name. It was literally one conversation, then we all moved on to the next topic.

It'll be fine once you tell people OP.

TotallySuper · 30/10/2021 17:37

Multiple threads about name changing. Not sure how this could be some sort of fetish but seems that way!

Swipe left for the next trending thread