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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Strange one...will the doctors know?

20 replies

sparklins · 30/10/2021 12:32

NC for this as a bit outing.

To summarize my DF is a functioning alcoholic and my DM also has milder issues with alcohol but is mainly an enabler and will cover for him. We've a bit of a complicated relationship.
Many conversations have been had and nothing changes, they will lie and say it has but it always ultimately unveils.
It's quite difficult for me to know the extent of it as I am fairly LC with them most of the time now. My sibling has gone NC with my DF.
They are in their v early 50s.

I found out today DM will be taking DF to A&E for what they suspect is a pretty nasty kidney infection. He has been in pain for 3 days now and could barely walk yesterday.
My first thought was that it was alcohol related but I really can't be sure - I am no doctor by any means.

Obviously they will run bloods and other tests when he's there - my question is will any of those tests have a way of revealing his high alcohol consumption? I think it might finally be perfect time to address this with them especially if a doctor says something to them but I am aware I might be kidding myself here on both counts.

Also - in his case, is there a high probability that the kidney pain is alcohol related or could it be one of a million possible reasons?

Apologies if this is a bit of a convoluted post I guess I am maybe clutching at threads here.

OP posts:

Shouldbedoing · 30/10/2021 12:36

I think hospitals are well aware of the number of heavy drinkers being admitted with other unrelated or related issues. It does form part of the history taking but they've also seen it all before when people are unwell from sudden withdrawal from alcohol. There are certain antibiotics that cannot be taken with alcohol so the questioning will be very targeted.
HTH

HazelandChacha · 30/10/2021 12:37

You can have normal BT results, FIL drank 3 bottles of spirits & 5 btls of wine a week but his blood test results were always normal.
However, DF is also an alcoholic and drinks a lot less than FIL. in DF case when we rang the Dr (poa) we did mention the alcohol and they said they were aware, they request 3 monthly blood tests to monitor him.

Terminallysleepdeprived · 30/10/2021 12:39

Alcohol will show up in a full blood work up. So yes the doctors will know, however your dm will almost certainly explain away as trying to dull the pain, celebration etc.

Liver is the organ more associated with alcohol related illness but I am no medical professional.

I am the daughter of a recovering alcoholic. You have my sympathy OP.

x2boys · 30/10/2021 12:40

They will do routine bloods , including a liver function test ,which might show up some issues with the liver

Fluffycloudland77 · 30/10/2021 12:40

You can often smell it on them or they’ve got that watery eye thing like Oliver reed had. My parents ran an off licence so I’ve seen a lot of alcoholics in my time.

I doubt a dr saying “you need to give up the booze” is going to have the slightest effect on them though.

Mercurial123 · 30/10/2021 12:43

If he doesn't want to change his habits there's nothing you can do.

My dad is a functioning alcoholic with Alzheimers he still drinks heavily though has been advised not to. My mum enables him. My brother also an alcoholic died aged 20 even that didn't stop him.

ftw163532 · 30/10/2021 12:45

A&E doesn't tend to have the time or inclination to do more than the very minimum necessary to patch people up enough to not be at imminent risk of death.

I think the likelihood of the outcome you want occurring is almost non-existent.

singingrainbow · 30/10/2021 12:50

They normally ask about alcohol consumption as part of routine questions around health whenever I visit doctor. I was even asked how many units I was drinking per week by the dentist.
Maybe that will be an opportunity for them to discuss his alcohol consumption.

Hohofortherobbers · 30/10/2021 12:53

Unless his liver is struggling its unlikely to be picked up in a routine blood test, if they add in a liver enzyme test for gamma GT then it will show up. This is an enzyme which is always raised if a person has drunk alcohol recently. It's also affected by certain medications too. If they suspect he's a drinker or if they want to check if he's having a reaction to a medication they will run a gamma GT. It's possible gamma GT test is added routinely on admission at A&E.

x2boys · 30/10/2021 12:58

@singingrainbow

They normally ask about alcohol consumption as part of routine questions around health whenever I visit doctor. I was even asked how many units I was drinking per week by the dentist. Maybe that will be an opportunity for them to discuss his alcohol consumption.

Drs are aware however that people often underestimate how much they drink

singingrainbow · 30/10/2021 13:05

*Drs are aware however that people often underestimate how much they drink
I know, I don't drink and I feel they always look at me suspiciously when I say that.
I was thinking sometimes when you are in pain and feeling vulnerable, which the Ops DF is, then he may be more likely to be honest when asked that question.

Carrotsticks23 · 30/10/2021 13:22

They may know. They will ask him, and he may say, his blood work may indicate. If he doesn't say how much he's drinking it will be hard to have any sort of conversation about his drinking.

However whilst the doctors can advise he cuts down his drinking and advise of the risks, they can't stop him. And it's not really the place of the A&E doctors to address your father's drinking, they are there to treat his acute health problems. It is your father's choice to drink that much, and I'm sure he's well aware of the risks it entails.

tazzy73 · 30/10/2021 13:36

Bloods should pick it up. LFT's which are liver functional tests. If he gets to the wards, it's usually the nurses who pick it up. You can see if a patient needs a detox, it's usually evident on day 2 as an inpatient. If that happens, the doctors will be notified and a detox protocol would be started.
Does he think it's kidney issues, if it's flank pain, that can also be pancreatitis which can be caused by alcohol.
Daughter of an alcoholic and nurse here so I feel your pain. Sending your way.
Taz.

Ghoulette · 30/10/2021 13:39

All a Dr will do is advise him to cut down if it does flag up in his bloods. You can't force an addict to get help unfortunately, whether you are a Dr or not.

tickledtiger · 30/10/2021 13:43

They will almost certainly know from blood results and medical history yes. Whether or not they try to open up a conversation with him about his alcohol intake will depend on what the problem is and who sees him.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 30/10/2021 13:44

It could be incredibly obvious.

However, that doesn't matter in terms of you wanting to bring it up with them. That won't work, as they'll deny the doctor said anything about it and it's got nothing to do with his 'occasional sips of wine' and there wasn't anything on his bloods, he's brimming with health, etc, etc, etc.

The phrase 'none so blind as those who won't see' is very appropriate here. It'll be ignored, denied and lied about. It'll be 'an infection', 'kidney stones', 'a bad back' and absolutely nothing to do with the copious amounts of alcohol he's putting away. Even if they have to put him on drips for withdrawal and to replace vitamins. It just won't exist in their minds.

And if it actually isn't anything to do with alcohol, which is vaguely possible (and whilst it's obvious on the bloods, appearance, vehement denial, etc, that could be a secondary thing or 'just' an exacerbating factor), they will use that as proof that you're making it all in your head and that you know nothing.

In short, don't waste your breath.

1forAll74 · 30/10/2021 13:55

The hospital may ask about alcohol consumption, and do test for all sorts of things. I had a partner many years ago, who was a serious alcoholic, he had kidney and liver problems, and other related problems all from alcohol. He was under weight, from not eating much at all, so had blood tests etc. He thought he could function quite well with the vast amounts of booze everyday, but not so, it alters the minds of people.

I think that doctors will usually ask a person about their lifestyle, regarding liver,kidney, lungs and heart problems,also mental ability.

teach85 · 30/10/2021 14:14

Hi there.
I'm not saying this to worry you in any way. However, I lost my Dad to alcoholism a few years ago.
For a very long time he covered this up until my siblings and I found a stash of empty vodka bottles. (He was very high functioning and we genuinely had no idea until it was too late)
He was always in and out if hospital with various illnesses (brought on by alcohol we later realised). He NEVER told the doctors or hospital about his alcohol consumption and this was something he wasn't willing to discuss with anyone.
Sadly it got to the point where he was so ill he could no longer eat, his mental health was at rock bottom and eventually his body gave up on him. He was 59.

Please, if there is any way you can help him then there is still time. My Dad constantly refused help so I know how hard this can be.

Happy to talk more about this if you need to.

Original poster

sparklins · 01/11/2021 15:21

Thank you for the replies.

Apparently A&E were super busy, they took some bloods and it showed an infection and he got sent home same day with a prescription for antibiotics. Also told to do a follow up/general health check with GP.

Even if he got asked about his alcohol consumption I am certain he would have said he drinks sometimes/ for special occasions only. I'm sure he would have never admitted anything to the drs unless it was a life or death last minute kind of situation.

So no change here. He is still in pain but slightly better. Will see what the days bring I suppose.

Thanks @teach85 it's a bit of an odd one here. My sibling has had so many conversations about it with DF over the years and it has now lead to them going NC after one too many incidents of DFs drinking. Both DF and DM will cover for each other - especially DM for him as she has some issues too and I think she masks behind his - not sure if that makes sense but she's quite big on keeping up appearances too.

I am the mum of their only DGCs and only see them once every week or two for a couple of hours with my DCs out of a sense of obligation.
They are not bad people but quite messed up and I know that if I started trying to get involved and ''help'' them I would get absolutely sucked into everything in a huge way and would be asked to sort out all sorts of stuff.
So as selfish as this might make me sound I am currently in no position to start interventions and take responsibility for them, I have a busy job, a DH, young DCs and our own things to work through.

OP posts:

SpiderinaWingMirror · 01/11/2021 15:54

I think that generally doctors can spot an alcoholic a mile off tbh. My gp friend says she mentally doubles what people say they drink.

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