AIBU to be so traumatised by seeing someone else's accident?

[Gigglebiscuit]

I witnessed an accident happen this morning, child Vs vehicle. It was just awful. I saw it all happen, from circumstances leading up to it, to it happening in front of me, to the aftermath. Thankfully a doctor saw it from a distance too, so was quickly on scene. But required ambulance and air ambulance. While waiting for the ambulance, listening to the child cry and scream. Which was a good sign that they were making noise, but very upsetting. Child obviously taken to hospital, but what first seemed likely to be fatal looks likely to be thankfully fully recoverable in time. It was a true accident, nobody's fault, just one of those things.

It's not my child, I've never met them before. And it didn't happen to me. I just witnessed and did what I could to help. But I feel properly traumatised by it. I just keep seeing / hearing it over and over again. AIBU?

I was just remembering your post OP and wondering how you are. Hope the post trauma shock didn’t last too long and things have settled for you.

YANBU. I was one of the first on the scene at an accident last week. A car hit a cyclist and there was a very bad head injury. I didn’t witness it (it was right to the side of me and I was looking ahead but I heard the bang and looked to see the cyclist landing on the ground).

I have since seen cctv footage of the accident (my workplace is right opposite and we have excellent cameras, the police couldn’t believe how clear it was) and it was going over and over in my mind. Thankfully I now know the person is ok as a family member posted on a local group to say thank you to bystanders.

I hope you’ve had an update. I was incredibly surprised about how much info the police gave when they came to view our cctv.

Hope you are ok now OP?

I witnessed a child I work with choking a few days ago. They went floppy and grey. I thought they were going to die, but eventually, first aid dislodged the blockage. I felt horrendous for the rest of the day and have kept getting flashbacks.

Hopefully it will fade after a few days. I've seen, and been involved in, a few accidents and it's very stressful in the immediate aftermath but thankfully hasn't lasted for long after.

When my son (then 8) got knocked over by a car on his way to school I got the number of the driver from the police and I called to tell her he was ok because I just keep thinking how badly she must have been feeling. She was really grateful and relieved. Maybe the police could give you an update?

@nokidshere

Hopefully it will fade after a few days. I've seen, and been involved in, a few accidents and it's very stressful in the immediate aftermath but thankfully hasn't lasted for long after.

When my son (then 8) got knocked over by a car on his way to school I got the number of the driver from the police and I called to tell her he was ok because I just keep thinking how badly she must have been feeling. She was really grateful and relieved. Maybe the police could give you an update?

@nokidshere

I'm surprised they gave out the number. Surely that's a data protection breach?

A horrific thing to witness. I looked after a police officer who was run over whilst cycling to work on his bike - big car just drove right over him too. I was really shaken all day at work - am a nurse. We see quite horrific things at work too, I work with children so it can be quite harrowing at times and we always have a debriefing for any critical incidents or anything we feel needs to be talked about and staff to have further support as it does affect us so it’s good you’re talking op and don’t be afraid to speak about how you feel.

I doubt the hospital will give information to you. We don’t give medical info over the phone but you may hear how the child is as it sounds it was quite a horrific accident. Hope he’s ok. And you too op, take care of yourself

@notanothertakeaway he asked her if he could pass it on to me

@bloodywhitecat I saw the same thing, same age as you were, same outcome. It won't ever leave me.

YANBU, I was just the same after witnessing a car v motorbike accident.

It was over 30 years ago, and some things still come back to me now and give me shivers. I found talking about it a lot helped.

Not in the same league at all, but I saw a particularly nasty incident between a dog and an artic truck years ago, and it kept coming back into my head for years, in various situations.

I don't want to derail the thread, but people who know about this stuff, how long would you normally go on reliving a traumatic birth? I distinctly remember that DS was 9 months old when I pointed out to DH that I'd gone a whole 24 hours without reliving it and breaking down in tears, and he was three before I could talk about it without crying. I sometimes wonder if I couldn't have done with some help.

Not the same thing, but DS was in an accident where he was swiped off his bike by a van. He had flashbacks for a long time, and in the end had some EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing). This is based on the same eye movement principle as the Tetris playing idea.

Be kind to yourself in the meantime.

@Bigtruth

Totally normal and highly likely that you'll suffer from PTSD, right now you'll be in shock I'd imagine.

Please speak to a professional about the incident, the police or NHS should be able to refer you based on this incident.

Sorry you had to witness this, hopefully the child recovers and that helps with the trauma.

She’s not highly likely to suffer from PTSD. She’s in shock and processing what she saw. Thousands of people witness road traffic collisions and do not go on to have PTSD.

OP if you’re struggling after a few weeks this organisation can access someone for you to speak to. www.brake.org.uk/

I'm sorry you saw what you saw. Play some Tetris. I know that sounds odd but I read this

www.ox.ac.uk/news/2017-03-28-tetris-used-prevent-post-traumatic-stress-symptoms

@Bigtruth

Totally normal and highly likely that you'll suffer from PTSD, right now you'll be in shock I'd imagine.

Please speak to a professional about the incident, the police or NHS should be able to refer you based on this incident.

Sorry you had to witness this, hopefully the child recovers and that helps with the trauma.

It's not 'highly' likely that she'll suffer from PTSD, stop scaremongering.

OP, if you are re-experiencing it and suffering flashbacks after a month's time then it's worth seeking help but it's completely normal at this stage to keep thinking about it.

Sorry you had such a bad experience.

Only seeing this thread now. I've witnessed and helped at several incidents. My advice is to take this as a learning opportunity. Do a first aid course, so that if anything happens in the future you'll feel you can help rather than be helpless. I firmly believe everyone should know basic first aid. You never know when anything could happen.

I witnessed a child accidental death 30 some odd years ago. I can still play it out in my mind in sickening detail. Sometimes I still get random flashbacks. My sister was there too. She is the same.

It’s only been a day. Go easy on yourself.

I feel quite upset for you OP, I would be the same. I hope these feelings pass soon and you get some positive news about the affected 💐

I can't believe anyone has voted that you are unreasonable!!

@antsinyourpanta

I can't believe anyone has voted that you are unreasonable!!

Mumsnet paralell universe syndrome!

Only a tiny number of people would not find that upsetting.

Will people STOP scaremongering... She is NOT highly likely to develop PTSD...

Of COURSE this is upsetting... You'd be made of stone if it didn't!

This is NORMAL...

It's your nervous systems way of protecting you...and your mind processing it.

Chat to anyone sympathetic , family /colleagues. It means that your brain starts processing it.

If you're still upset by it in a couple of weeks.. ... As in:

major intrusive images/sounds
/keeping you awake and stop you focusing on normal tasks during the day...

See a GP.

Good luck!

Totally normal

I didn’t even witness the crash but stopped at a gas station where the remains of the car were, police, tape and so on. I was told that there had been a family in it, both parents died the two kids survived. I couldn’t help but imagine those poor kids screaming for their parents and still think about it. You read stuff like in the news and it’s so different seeing the actual crushed car, can’t imagine being there when it actually happened let alone a first responder

Not at all. It’s normal to relieve traumatic experiences for up to 6 weeks after they happen. Its a way of dealing with it. If you still feel like this in 6 weeks then you should speak to your GP or a counsellor.