Did I take friends comments the wrong way?

[reallybloodyfedup]

Ok NC for this.

Been friends with this person for over 20 years. We've been around for each other's highs and lows, lots of lows as both been in abusive relationships, grief etc.

She drinks somewhat excessively at times. She realises this and has tried to limit this recently.

She places much importance on material things. Is quite privileged. I don't want to go in to the details.

Anyway we have had the same conversation numerous times, usually when she's drunk about her car, the type of car and she'd like to pass on to her DC. Cue the offensive comments on how she doesn't want her DC to drive a particular type of car and described it as "shitty".

Well I drive this particular type of car, as it's what I can afford.

She's said this numerous times under the influence of alcohol like I say but has always been materialistic and generally puts others down at times if she thinks they aren't 'worth much' if that makes sense.

The last time she made this comment I blew, said it was inconsiderate in short and friends response was we all make choices on what car we choose to drive .

I am so disgusted by this, to think a friend like this could be so inconsiderate and thoughtless that I'm really not sure I can come back from it.

AIBU or am I overreacting?

She is arrogant and lacks empathy or self awareness.

I had a similar conversation with my dad. He bought my much younger brother a brand new car for his 17th because he didn't want him driving around in a shitty old car as it was unsafe. I drove a shitty old car at the time. So YANBU. It's offensive.

Your friend sounds like hard work. Do you get anything out if the friendship?

She sounds not very nice at all.

I have this thing of don't ask my opinion unless you really want it, so if a friend was to ask me, do you like my car and I didn't, I would tell them, but this is not the situation at all and I wouldn't call it shitty.

We all called my own first car shitty, but it was, so no offence and we become to love the little shitty thing but again very different to your situation.

Just try keeping away from her if you have called her out on it and she continues, it's a lack of respect and love.

She doesn’t sound very nice tbh.

Some "friend" she sounds. I wouldn't bother with someone so bitchy, drunk or not.

She sounds horrible. She doesn't like being called out, either and is now back-pedalling/minimising, which suggests to me that she knew EXACTLY what she was doing all along. Time to back off, I think...

*I agree she is materialistic, but you seem the same by being defensive of your car brand?

@PlanDeRaccordement* my defence isn't down to materialism, it's down to the fact that my friend knows my circumstances around the car I drive. It's all I could afford when I bought it and she knows this. It wasn't what I wanted but all I could afford!

If she's a friend, you should be able to talk to her about it, and she should take it seriously.

Why are women so often "friends" with people they don't like?

She sounds spiteful and petty. Get rid.