AIBU to ask if anyone's every run away?

[FalalaLondon]

Seriously tempted to run away sometimes. Big problems at home. Some not really solvable easily (teen MH) and others could be solved but nobody seems to give a shit. I love them all but just feel I can't live with them.

Would they miss me if I went? I'd still contribute financially. I'd still spend a large part of every day on the phone haranguing CAMHS/ doctors / schools or whoever it is who needs to be begged for help. I'd keep up with the admin.

To be honest, I'm probably pretty stressy to live with anyway. Maybe DH and the 2 DS would just muddle along ok without me.

I don't need to live in luxury. Fantasising about just being a lodger somewhere. Just need my own small room. I have a job and (cheap) hobbies so I only need somewhere to wash/sleep/cook the odd meal.

Anyone done this?

• ever run away, that should be

I have. But not for long. Just for a few nights at a time. Do it quite regularly actually.

I know that’s not the same as a longer term run for it but it works for me. 2-5 nights, just me, phone strictly for emergencies and everything else can wait until I get back.

I recommend it.

For good? No. But I do get time away from it all when I need it. Sounds like you could do with that too.

But don't imagine for a second they'd not miss you - I'm sure you're far more important to them than they would ever say (esp the teenagers!!)

I'd imagine if your teen DC already has mental health issues - running away would only add to them. Are you prepared for that guilt?

I'm sure most people fantasise about it when times are tough, but aren't actually selfish enough to do it.

I haven’t but often thought about. Fantasised about how far away I could get without being found. Life can be so overwhelming at times.

I think about it. But I think wherever you go you take your thoughts and problems with you. It's those I sometimes want to run away from.

I know someone whose mother ran away. Don't do it. It ruined her life.

Do get some time out though. It's really tough dealing with children with mental health issues.

[Flowers]

Never have but understand the temptation. It sounds like all the demands and stresses on you have just built up to be too much.

Do you get the tilty head and ‘are you getting any support for you’ question from all the professionals you’re begging for help for your unwell teen too?

I have had dealings with a number of children/teenagers whose mothers have done this. It has left long lasting irreversible damage and they can never understand why they have been abandoned. It is not something I would recommend. A few days planned break here and there on the other hand sounds like it may help you

Don't believe for a minute that they would be better off without you. As a former teacher, I had a number of students whose mother's walked out and the I'm not convinced those kids will ever get over the emotional injury that caused.

Get help, access support, but understand that even on their most difficult days, you are still the anchor that holds them safe....